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Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

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Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#131

Post by behnamoh »

BurningFrog wrote: post #50
Workaccount2 wrote: post #11

Being someone who was both conventionally unattractive and conventionally attractive (I had a digestive disorder for years that made me terrifyingly skinny and sickly looking), I can say that the difference is astronomical. Once I figured out what was wrong with me, fixed my diet and got in shape, the way people treated me in general shifted dramatically towards positive. Rather than starting from a unreceptive low w…

Evolution is stronger than all of us.

many times i’ve said “fuck evolution” because no matter how hard i try to be an intellectual being, evolution eventually draws me back to my reproduction instincts.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#132

Post by helen___keller »

handy2000 wrote: post #114
helen___keller wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a “woke SJW” I don’t think we’re on the same page for what it means to be “critical of the idea of a beauty standard”. For example, to me being critical of a beauty standard is rejecting the following statement: “All else equal, a person with double eyelids is more attractive than a person with single eyelids” Widespread acceptance of the above statement culturally is an example of a beauty standard, and it’s the…

Your example is overly focused on a small detail. I think what the parent commenter means, is that it's fairly uncommon to see highly attractive women who subscribe to the idea of "everyone is beautiful" date conventionally unattractive men.

“Conventionally (un)attractive” aren’t well defined, but usually mean someone at the intersection of several/many beauty standards. Thin, busty, blond. Tall, dark, handsome. Pale, smooth skin, double eyelids. I just used one example for my post but the concept applies broadly.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#133

Post by Spivak »

foobarchu wrote: post #128
Spivak wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This has gotta be one of my favorite parts of HN, it's an odd glimpse into how men view the world. You've got it backwards. In both cases what makes it harassment is continuing to push when it's unwanted. Why you seem to see a difference in results based on attractiveness is because your average guy can't take a hint no matter how attractive they are. So "success" becomes literally stochastic because guys never back…

> I kinda wish it worked like Brazilian steakhouse rules where I could wear something that signaled, "open to being hit on by strangers." The "pear ring" is trying to make this happen but it hasn't really caught on much.

This is great. No idea why it's some weird product when the whole value is teal silicone ring for straight, light purple silicone ring for not straight which you can get same day shipping on Amazon but if they manage to get it to catch on guess I don't care about the means.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#134

Post by itishappy »

gedy wrote: post #112
Spivak wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This has gotta be one of my favorite parts of HN, it's an odd glimpse into how men view the world. You've got it backwards. In both cases what makes it harassment is continuing to push when it's unwanted. Why you seem to see a difference in results based on attractiveness is because your average guy can't take a hint no matter how attractive they are. So "success" becomes literally stochastic because guys never back…

> In both cases what makes it harassment is continuing to push when it's unwanted I worked at a place that had lots of young people and HR's definition included even a single time, and intent does not matter, perception does. They would also punish without letting the person know who/when/where they were accused by. This was not theoretical CYA policy, I saw one guy fired and another lose promotion and both swore the…

That should be standard HR policy everywhere. There is no appropriate way to hit on coworkers. It's unprofessional at best and a company-ending liability at worst. HR's job is to protect the company from both.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#135

Post by DontchaKnowit »

Workaccount2 wrote: post #11

Being someone who was both conventionally unattractive and conventionally attractive (I had a digestive disorder for years that made me terrifyingly skinny and sickly looking), I can say that the difference is astronomical. Once I figured out what was wrong with me, fixed my diet and got in shape, the way people treated me in general shifted dramatically towards positive. Rather than starting from a unreceptive low w…

A lot of this difference is the result of your own outlook and approach to life.

Used to be fat and wear clothes 2 sizes too big. Lost some weight and started dressing nicer. Suddenly I was behaving more confidently, and the effect snowballs.

Of course, there is some external difference, but a lot of it just goes back to attitude and confidence.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#136

Post by Workaccount2 »

no_time wrote: post #74
Workaccount2 wrote: post #11

Being someone who was both conventionally unattractive and conventionally attractive (I had a digestive disorder for years that made me terrifyingly skinny and sickly looking), I can say that the difference is astronomical. Once I figured out what was wrong with me, fixed my diet and got in shape, the way people treated me in general shifted dramatically towards positive. Rather than starting from a unreceptive low w…

>I had a digestive disorder for years that made me terrifyingly skinny Could you elaborate? I have something similar of unknown cause

Yeah sure, I discovered after 27 years of living that dairy makes me passively sick. I am lactose intolerant too, that came about as I got older, but I also have some kind of sensitivity to dairy. It makes me nauseous and kills my appetite while in my system. Lots of cramps and random belly aches too. Not a lot (or any) gas and diarrhea like is commonly associated with lactose intolerance.

I had no idea since I ate a typical American diet my whole life, which is very heavy in dairy. I thought feeling sick and nauseous after eating was normal. I thought not really ever being too hungry was just how I was. I thought having stomach cramps all the time was just human.

The whole story is long, but eventually I went from a low lactose diet (knowing I was lactose, I still ate low or no lactose dairy foods - hard cheeses, yogurts, lactose free whatever) to eating no dairy products. Only butter.

I gained 60 pounds in the 8 months following this, I also learned that feeling nauseous all the time also isn't normal and I am capable of eating way more than I thought possible.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#138

Post by JamesBarney »

wiradikusuma wrote: post #13

There's a saying (which could be specific to my country) about men approaching women. If you're handsome it's called flirting, if you're ugly it's sexual harassment. Joking aside, I do notice that successful men (again, maybe specific to my country) tend to be attractive and they usually have an attractive and smart partner. Successful but not attractive men can still have either attractive or smart partner (or both,…

Creeps are mostly people who aren't socially aware or don't care. And another side to this discussion is that if you hit on someone substantially more attractive than you, you're already signaling that you aren't very socially aware or don't care i.e. a creep.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#139

Post by JamesBarney »

Dudester230602 wrote: post #99
jameane wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like age hurt him for sure. You see Donald Trump in Home Alone and he looks like an average white dude. But now he looks like a troll.

Plus, an average-looking dude in the 90s had a chance regardless.

And an average-looking billionaire has even better chances.

Re: Physical attractiveness and intergenerational social mobility

#140

Post by JamesBarney »

lukev wrote: post #65
wiradikusuma wrote: post #13

There's a saying (which could be specific to my country) about men approaching women. If you're handsome it's called flirting, if you're ugly it's sexual harassment. Joking aside, I do notice that successful men (again, maybe specific to my country) tend to be attractive and they usually have an attractive and smart partner. Successful but not attractive men can still have either attractive or smart partner (or both,…

This notion (step 1: be attractive, step 2: don't be unattractive) comes up a lot in male-dominated online spaces. It's a fallacy, and actually a self defeating one since it causes guys to ascribe their failures to something out of their control (looks) instead of what is actually in their control (behavior.) Here's a pretty good deconstruction of the concept IMO: https://www.doctornerdlove.com/understanding-the-hot-…

The article is more a takedown of the strawman "hot guys can't be creepy".

It seems obviously true that certain behaviors are hot if they're performed when there is mutual interest and creepy when there isn't any. And being hot has a huge impact on whether or not there is mutual interest.

In addition hot people are just given more latitude than ugly people in terms of social faux pas.

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