What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed • Hacker News Board

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#131

Post by danso » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 10:42 PM UTC

Smudge wrote: post #95

dkrich wrote: post #94

I was thinking about this this morning and couldn't help but notice the apparent correlation between high profile people who have committed suicide recently and their profiles. All from arts/creative fields (Avicii, Kate Spade, Bourdain, Robin Williams, Heath Ledger, I'm sure there are more). Is there any scientific research that has explored the possibility that the wiring in the brain that makes people creative has…

Doesn't really answer your questions, but I'd point out that it's possible that we only hear about these suicides precisely _because_ they are from professions that tend to produce high-profile celebrities. I'd counter your apparent correlation with the fact that apparently suicide among doctors is extremely high: https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/what-...

Is's a common convention in newspaper obituaries and articles to not mention cause of death as suicide, except in newsworthy situations.

Covering suicides in general were somewhat taboo unless they involved someone noteworthy:

https://www.poynter.org/news/reporting-suicide

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#132

Post by e9 » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 10:45 PM UTC

Someone1234 wrote: post #31

spdustin wrote: post #9

I feel like this should be left here: Everybody you meet has a secret smile, and a secret pain. If your secret pain feels like a weight you can no longer carry, please talk to someone. Anyone. Lay down your burdens, and give your shoulders a rest. If you're in the US, there's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 LGBT folks in the US might also consider The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 I…

If you're in the US, you may also wish to think twice before calling the cops on a loved one, particularly if they're only a danger to themselves (and not you or others). Police in the US rarely receive training[0] in dealing with suicidal individuals, and are instead trained to escalate the situation and or use violence for a resolution[1]. There are numerous examples of the police turning up on a suicide call and k…

+1 be careful, even if they don't use violence they tend to go on conservative side and put your loved one in 72h hold and if it's late night or proper mental hospitals are full then they will end up spending those hours with crazy people they pick up on the street. It will be more traumatizing (especially for females since they will be surrounded by crazy males from the streets).

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#133

Post by the-pigeon » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 10:48 PM UTC

astine wrote: post #57

mywittyname wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect this is a driver of the increased suicide rate. People are afraid to tell others because they don't want to deal with the police/authorities, so they don't get the help they need. My sister attempted suicide as a teenager and the police that responded spent hours ransacking our home and further tormenting my family for no good reason. Then to think of her being locked up in the hospital (I wasn't able to se…

As a person who lives in the US, this isn't something that I would generally think of if I were considering whether to tell someone that I was planning suicide. Reading your account however, maybe it's something I should be worried about.

There's a lot of issues with this in the US.

When I was a kid my oldest brother enrolled in some free counseling from a church. They had him fill out why he was going to counseling so he honestly wrote down that he had been having suicidal thoughts.

So this church freaked out and sent a pastor and someone else over to force him to promise not to kill himself.

Which as you can imagine was horrible and completely broke his trust in the system.

Also taught me to never ever be honest with people about serious things like suicide unless you've already know how they will react or you think you are a real danger to yourself.

Suicidal thoughts from time to time are fine. The issue is when you start to have real intent to carry them out. That's when you need help.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#134

Post by ridgeguy » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 10:57 PM UTC

rjurney wrote: post #14

It is unfortunate that stigma around mental illness causes most people to view psychiatric hospitals as places to avoid at all cost, as they have a stigma so terrible going to one is like dying multiple deaths. After that you're 'legally' crazy (whatever the fuck that means)! In fact, if you need one, if you are severely depressed or hallucinating, a hospital is exactly the place for you. You will most likely love it…

The quality of life, if you will, varies enormously in psychiatric hospitals. It may be extremely conducive to treatment and recovery in one and just this side of Bedlam in another.

source: Personal experience helping member of wife's family who was hospitalized for disabling chronic refractory depression and intense suicidal ideation. This was about two years ago.

One institution (in San Mateo County) was great, the other (in Santa Clara County) was awful. She was very lucky in being transferred to the better facility after two days in the awful one.

It's not clear she'd have survived a more extended stay at the first. Slightly over a week in the second helped her enough to go back home and live safely.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#135

Post by RobertDeNiro » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 11:01 PM UTC

phil248 wrote: post #112

RobertDeNiro wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Posting an anonymous comment on Reddit? I don't know, at this point anything is as effective as that. I'm just tired of seeing these hotline numbers shared across all forms of media as if they were the solution to everything. Real therapy, as far as I know, is the only effective solution. There's no low cost solution other than maybe trying to form deeper relationships with the people around you.

It sounds like you do not know much about the topic, but still felt compelled to contradict the most common suicide prevention advice in a public forum while offering no evidence. Maybe not a great thing to do on a high-traffic website on the day of a high-profile suicide.

> not a great thing to do on a high-traffic website on the day of a high-profile suicide.

It's the only time people seem willing to discuss suicide. A week from now everyone will have forgotten that suicide is a real epidemic. I'd rather see people discuss real solutions instead be of endlessly repeating the same pointless things.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#136

Post by jMyles » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 11:05 PM UTC

I started reading with a lot of interest, but this line caused me to close the window:

> In some cases, calling 911 may be the best option.

It seems so tone-deaf. More accurate is:

> In cases where life is at stake, consider calling 911, but if you do, know that police will likely respond first and may not be trained to deal with a mental health crisis. In some cases, people have been brutalized or even killed after seeking help from poorly trained law enforcement.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#137

Post by [deleted] » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 11:06 PM UTC

rectang wrote: post #128

mmt wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This seems a bizarrely simplistic (or incomplete) statement. It needs at least an adjective in front of "agony". I don't expect you're suggesting euthanizing someone with acute appendicitis or a severe cluster headache.

For the purposes of constructive discussion I don't mind qualifying "agony" with "enduring", so to limit scope to those with chronic, untreatable depression. But the original statement is an honest representation of my thoughts. ETA: At the same time, it's important to recognize that suicides inflict dramatically more pain on those left behind than other causes of death.

[deleted]

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#138

Post by ridgeguy » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 11:09 PM UTC

mendelsd wrote: post #90

Ensure they are getting adequate folate, noting that normal blood levels may not indicate functional sufficiency [1][2]: "Folate deficiencies may lead to an increased risk of depression and poorer antidepressant treatment outcomes..." "...deficiencies may be caused by improper absorption and utilization, often due to genetic polymorphisms." "Supplementation with the active form of folate, (methylfolate), which is mor…

Yes. There is a subset of patients with depression who have either of two different genetic polymorphisms for methyeneltetrahydrofolate reductase. This may be causally linked to their depression. [1]

Supplementing diet with a modified form of folate appears to diminish depression in patients with these particular polymorphisms.

My understanding is that this is still a matter of controversy.

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1810582/

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#139

Post by mmt » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 11:10 PM UTC

rectang wrote: post #128

mmt wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This seems a bizarrely simplistic (or incomplete) statement. It needs at least an adjective in front of "agony". I don't expect you're suggesting euthanizing someone with acute appendicitis or a severe cluster headache.

For the purposes of constructive discussion I don't mind qualifying "agony" with "enduring", so to limit scope to those with chronic, untreatable depression. But the original statement is an honest representation of my thoughts. ETA: At the same time, it's important to recognize that suicides inflict dramatically more pain on those left behind than other causes of death.

OK, so enduring (which includes constant/unwavering?) and untreatable. I haven't been able to find how many sufferers of depression that includes.

If it's close to or actually zero, then maybe it's a strawman.

Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed

#140

Post by dvtv75 » Fri, Jun 08, 2018, 11:14 PM UTC

tajen wrote: post #106

jimmy1 wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was cynical about talking to people for the longest time. I figured I would forgo seeking the "cookie cutter" advice and went to see my priest -- expecting him to tell me "well you are weak in faith, pray more, say these prayers" etc. He begins by telling me, "If I take this baseball bat, and smash your knee, would you come tell me, or would you go tell a doctor?" I said, well obviously the doctor. He said "Ok, go…

> It took me 4 tries In other words: less than 25% of them are right. About the same experience here. My personal gripe: Most psychologists are feminists. If you explain them a problem you have, they’ll percieve it in a gynocentric way. They are in denial that men can be on the receiving end of a problem or injustice, so much that one of them posited to me that male and female suicide rates were the same. Which tells…

This can be true, but it's not necessarily always so.

Many years back, my partner was sexually assaulted, so I attended a few of her counseling sessions with the local Rape Crisis center as a support person. The female counselor commented that I was "very brave" to do that - something I found very odd.

Years later, my partner said that the sessions I didn't attend were little more than "man hating" and "man-blaming" for all of the world's wrongs.

I have also attended counseling, as I've recently started to understand the level of physical and psychological abuse that was inflicted upon me by my mother (and her boyfriend, as well as my stepfather) while I was growing up. My counselor was also female, yet not once did she belittle my suffering as less because of my gender. As I described a few events, I'd even hear her let out a gasp or draw a sharp breath, or a few words of concern.

It seems possible to me that you've come across individuals with their own concerns and agendas that lie outside the requirements of their jobs, but I couldn't write off an entire profession based on that.