Not sure if this is substantiated or refuted by any clinical research, but through experience I believe depression to be a side effect of the mind being absent any existential threats that would, as an animal, threaten your survival on a daily basis: searching for food, maintaining shelter, guarding yourself or each other from predators. As we become farther and farther away our primal origins, the mind needs to invent challenges, obstacles and worry.
What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
51–60 of 233 posts
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#52Great article, but what is this about? Is this really true? > But remember that interactions with law enforcement can vary wildly, depending on race and socio-economic background.
Sadly yes. I honestly don't have any numbers to backup my feelings, but I know that a lot of people truly fear the police, and possibly for good reasons. A while ago we had to call the police on a loved one that we were fearing was suicidal. By the end of the whole night the only thing that happened was the loved one was stuck with a rather large hospital bill as they were admitted (then discharged the next day), and…
> I honestly don't have any numbers to backup my feelings...
Then you don't know what's true and you should want to find out. Otherwise you risk spreading very harmful anti-intellectual and anti-science misinformation.
> And even if statistically the police aren't that likely to hurt someone, the frequency that it's happening and the growing resentment on both "sides" can make it so that many people will want to attempt other solutions before involving police.
Consider that you might be contributing to this very problem. You're spreading a meme here that you don't even seem to believe is backed by data because of your feelings on the topic. Now multiply this attitude by millions of people and you've got an entirely self-inflicted societal problem.
Humans developed scientific tools precisely to overcome our biases and emotions. Leaving them behind in the name of feelings is the path towards chaos.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#53I feel like this should be left here: Everybody you meet has a secret smile, and a secret pain. If your secret pain feels like a weight you can no longer carry, please talk to someone. Anyone. Lay down your burdens, and give your shoulders a rest. If you're in the US, there's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 LGBT folks in the US might also consider The Trevor Project Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 I…
If you're in the US, you may also wish to think twice before calling the cops on a loved one, particularly if they're only a danger to themselves (and not you or others). Police in the US rarely receive training[0] in dealing with suicidal individuals, and are instead trained to escalate the situation and or use violence for a resolution[1]. There are numerous examples of the police turning up on a suicide call and k…
I suspect this is a driver of the increased suicide rate. People are afraid to tell others because they don't want to deal with the police/authorities, so they don't get the help they need.
My sister attempted suicide as a teenager and the police that responded spent hours ransacking our home and further tormenting my family for no good reason. Then to think of her being locked up in the hospital (I wasn't able to see her for at least a week).
If I were having such thoughts, I certainly wouldn't tell anyone for this precise reason.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#54Not sure if this is substantiated or refuted by any clinical research, but through experience I believe depression to be a side effect of the mind being absent any existential threats that would, as an animal, threaten your survival on a daily basis: searching for food, maintaining shelter, guarding yourself or each other from predators. As we become farther and farther away our primal origins, the mind needs to inve…
I'm not sure if it's as simple as lack of existential threats, but I'd agree that it is important to have a purpose in life, and a daily routine, and research backs this up.
It's also important to rule out any life stressors that could be causing the depression, such as an unrewarding/stressful job, or living somewhere that you don't want to be.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#55Earlier quoted context omitted.
My comment implied no such thing. I was simply stating that you can't just up and leave should you so wish, you getting released is not in your control.
Except that its /rarely/ not in your control. I'm unable to find numbers, but I find it hard to believe that any significant amount of people's requests to leave are taken to court.
I think we have very different definitions of control.
To me, having control over when I leave is being able to walk out of the building at any time. Full autonomy. Having to petition some entity is the antithesis of control from my point of view.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#56Great article, but what is this about? Is this really true? > But remember that interactions with law enforcement can vary wildly, depending on race and socio-economic background.
Yes. My ex attempted suicide. I came home from work and found him. I called an ambulance, naturally. The cops came. While the ambulance was taking him away (to the opposite hospital they said they were going), the cops questioned me. The male was rather nice in mannerisms, but the female... She told me it was my fault and berated me for my messy house. I was accused of hiding a meth lab (My house was messy, but it wa…
This was my experience as well.
I hope you and your ex are doing well now.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you're in the US, you may also wish to think twice before calling the cops on a loved one, particularly if they're only a danger to themselves (and not you or others). Police in the US rarely receive training[0] in dealing with suicidal individuals, and are instead trained to escalate the situation and or use violence for a resolution[1]. There are numerous examples of the police turning up on a suicide call and k…
I suspect this is a driver of the increased suicide rate. People are afraid to tell others because they don't want to deal with the police/authorities, so they don't get the help they need. My sister attempted suicide as a teenager and the police that responded spent hours ransacking our home and further tormenting my family for no good reason. Then to think of her being locked up in the hospital (I wasn't able to se…
As a person who lives in the US, this isn't something that I would generally think of if I were considering whether to tell someone that I was planning suicide. Reading your account however, maybe it's something I should be worried about.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#58"Remember, people do recover from depression" That IMHO seems to be as much of a taboo as having depression itself for a lot of people... it's hard to convince someone that depression is seriously real, and equally hard to convince people [affected by their loving one's] depression is not like terminal cancer.
Depression fucks with your interpretation of reality, the distortion seems impossible to 1) not be true, 2) restored. It's indeed possible to get near normal, but it's very hard to convey to someone in such pains. Rationality also goes out of the window when emotion storms strike. Even though I knew that the previous day I was alright, if the next I go down, it's not always enough to help me go through the bad times.…
The depressed are hard to convince because they are depressed. The friends and family of the depressed are hard to convince because they are ignorant.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#59Earlier quoted context omitted.
Did you read this at all? > If you have admitted yourself into a psychiatric hospital, you can not simply sign yourself out and leave when you decide to do so. There is a process which must be followed in order to leave.
That aligns with my previous comment. There is a fast legal process, not some arcane movie-like entrapment like your comment implied.
I'm sorry, but have you ever been to one? I have. It is an arcane movie-like entrapment.
So I check myself out. Great, they petition me. Now I spend the next Monday locked in the same holding cells they put the accused in before they appear before the court.
The hearing itself seemed like a total formality. Doped up on medications, without internet or phone to contact people, no 'real' legal representation, it was basically all for show. They did my case and five others in less than 5 minutes total.
The end result? A possible court order giving them permission to keep you locked up longer than was legally able beforehand.
It's not even worth attempting. You end up with less rights than you started with.
Re: What to Do When a Loved One Is Severely Depressed
#60One thing that helped me was seeing depressed thoughts as transient entities, not belonging to me, but just passing through my mind once and a while.
It's like a weird dream. If you have a weird dream, you don't think, "oh I'm weird", you think, "that was a weird dream". It's the same with depressed thoughts: if you see them as "oh that's a depressing thought", rather than, "I'm depressing", then it's easier for those thoughts to go away. (usually when your blood sugar goes up or something like that)