Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Myths About Introverts

jerrybrito.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

121–130 of 194 posts

Re: Myths About Introverts

#121

Post by ZoFreX »

Helianthus wrote: post #79
parfe wrote: post #42

This article is nothing more than a chain-mail style bullshit list and it's sad to see it voted up so highly. I suppose it's a nice ego-stroke for all the self described introverts, but most of the "myths" are actually supported by their counter-descriptions. The Original Source appears to be: http://www.carlkingcreative.com/10-myths-about-introverts They hate small talk. Small talk is a social skill. and when meetin…

I agree with your general point about the chain-mail style bullshit, but it's not just an ego-stroke for self-described introverts: many are value judgments against introverts. >Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. Introverts (in my experience) _reject the concept of weird_. Social decisions like who's "in" and who's "out" hold no weight. Until this is understood, you're (by you I mean the writer, not you, parfe) not coun…

> Introverts (in my experience) _reject the concept of weird_. Social decisions like who's "in" and who's "out" hold no weight.

I'm pretty sure you're not talking about introverts... perhaps some subset, like geeks?

Re: Myths About Introverts

#122

Post by rokhayakebe »

ignifero wrote: post #13
jhamburger wrote: post #10

Here's a myth held by introverts. Introverts (rightly) believe that extroverts don't understand them, but they don't understand extroverts as well as they think they do. Case in point, the commonly held belief on HN that extroverts mostly BS their way through life while the introverts are doing the real work. In reality we introverts probably don't understand how incredibly nuanced seemingly superficial relationships…

As an introvert, i understand very well how extroverts think. For years i tried to become more extroverted, only to discover at a certain point that it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives. The nuance of conversation is a charm, it fades fast. The way I see it is time management: life is short, do you want to spend most of it dealing with…

it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives

Someone told me Friday "if there is nothing inside of you, of course you will try to focus on showing your outside. That is all you have.".

Re: Myths About Introverts

#124

Post by absconditus »

hugh3 wrote: post #80
seabee wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm sorry, in which world do all these introverts live where any topic is perfectly OK to talk about at any time? Small talk and social niceties aren't merely hot air, they are tools you can use to assess a person's mood, what they are interested in or comfortable discussing, or even whether it is productive to discuss something at all. Consider it the metadata of conversation. Also consider that conversation is two-…

It also establishes the fundamental fact "This is a friendly conversation". If I walk into my subordinate's office right now and say "Have you finished that graph yet?" then that communicates that I'm really impatient about getting that graph. Which would be fine if I am, but I'm not. If I do that, I'll just make him jumpy and anxious. Instead I'll wander down to his office and start with a "Hey, how's it going?" bef…

"Hello Peter, whats happening? Ummm, I'm gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow."

That is how we introverts see it.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#125

Post by petenixey »

Why is this being dressed up as introvertedness v. extrovertedness?

Introvertedness and extrovertedness are different directions on a scale, not absolute points. Introvertedness covers a far milder set of characteristics than those described here.

What the author describes is an extremity of the spectrum and characteristics more usually associated with Asberger or High functioning Autism.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#127

Post by saranagati »

hugh3 wrote: post #67
jhamburger wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And an extrovert trying to become an introvert would probably find himself incredibly bored and lonely. They're just two different orientations, we don't need to be constantly asserting superiority over one or the other.

I'd go so far as to say that they're not even "two different orientations", it's just a spectrum. Some people are more introverted, others are more extroverted. Like most human characteristics it's probably bell-curveish. I'd say that "it's probably best to be somewhere in the middle, so that you're neither worn out by social situations or bored by spending time alone" but there's probably enough self-aggrandisement…

you're absolutely right that it's a spectrum. the myers-briggs assigns you're interovert/extrovert level as two ends of the spectrum. personally i got 99% introvert, 1% extrovert.

As for not being able to change however, I don't believe that's set in stone. I took the test about 7 years ago and since then I feel like I'm more like 65%i/35%e. The whole idea of charging however is strange. Though I felt back before the test that i could only recharge at home, alone. At one point while i was the most social I felt as if I had to charge at home, then go out to recharge to balance it out. The brain is a very strange thing.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#128

Post by chmike »

dkarl wrote: post #101
gaius wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are seriously conflating "social anxiety disorder" and "introversion." This is actually LOL because when Jung coined the terms, he meant them to refer to ones relationship with the outside world. A person who explores the world alone is an extrovert, because he looks at the world outside himself. A person who is always surrounded by friends but always worries what they think is an introvert; he's looking inwards.

Jung didn't coin the word "introvert;" it's much older than that. He coined "extravert" as its opposite. Also, one of the ways Jung defined introversion and extraversion was in terms of the flow of "psychic energy": an introvert is someone whose energy is sapped by being around other people.

I didn't know there was a name for what I experienced. Energy drain. This is exactly how I feel it. There is no anxiety involved in it, at least not conscously. I sometime assumed it was like a very mild form of autism with the associated intelliegence excess in some domains. All the neurones we didn't waste on social processing are used in other competence.

Re: Myths About Introverts

#129

Post by vibrunazo »

rokhayakebe wrote: post #112
dkarl wrote: post #52

Just somebody (presumably an introvert) denying common negative generalizations about introverts without providing any supporting references or analysis. Turns out (thank you, oblique63) it was an off-the-cuff list thought up by someone who read a self-help book and was inspired to "redefine [his] entire life in a new and positive context." Seeing introversion as a preference or identity is fine as long as you have a…

Ok, so I upvoted you, but maaan do you have it wrong. I am the definition of introversion (to myself, avoid crowds, do not need to chat with everyone at the party, content with silence that others think is awkward, definitely do not want to ever be the center of attention, like to be alone with my thoughts ...) "What, you don't want to go to the Nicki Minaj concert?" "Let me explain. You see, I'm an introvert...." I…

Don't you think that you're just arguing semantics? There's little objective argument to be made when the two of you have different definitions for the same word.

90% of all disagreements between human beings derive from semantic confusion :)

Re: Myths About Introverts

#130

Post by scelerat »

A lot of this rang true for me. I'm an introvert, always have been. From a very early age I tended towards internal activities: reading, programming. Even the sport I ended up focusing on (running) is a very solitary activity. Social interaction drains me and I need lots of alone time, often preferring it.

I play in bands too though, and get a serious, addictive rush from making noise and performing for a lot of people. And I genuinely like people and making friends, but I don't really feel like I'm sharing "me" in a meaningful way unless it's one-on-one or with a very small group. Parties sap my energy, but I go to them because I get to interact with so many people. The only point I take issue with is #9, because I definitely have a thrill-seeking, adrenaline-junkie streak.

There's no script.

Post reply on HN