61–70 of 194 posts
Just somebody (presumably an introvert) denying common negative generalizations about introverts without providing any supporting references or analysis. Turns out (thank you, oblique63) it was an off-the-cuff list thought up by someone who read a self-help book and was inspired to "redefine [his] entire life in a new and positive context." Seeing introversion as a preference or identity is fine as long as you have a…
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As an introvert, i understand very well how extroverts think. For years i tried to become more extroverted, only to discover at a certain point that it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives. The nuance of conversation is a charm, it fades fast. The way I see it is time management: life is short, do you want to spend most of it dealing with…
You're implying that the introvert/extrovert split as a choice.
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As an introvert, i understand very well how extroverts think. For years i tried to become more extroverted, only to discover at a certain point that it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives. The nuance of conversation is a charm, it fades fast. The way I see it is time management: life is short, do you want to spend most of it dealing with…
let's please just celebrate our differences rather than tear each other down. This is a real insult to anyone who doesn't consider themselves introverted...
I think it will be very interesting to see a poll for introverts vs. extroverts. Unfortunately I don't have enough karma to create it...
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Social niceties serve as a grease that makes the social interaction go smoothly. By avoiding those and being frank and direct you only introduce sand in the mechanism. There was a wonderful quote to this effect a while ago on HN but I can't quite find it.
How does it introduce sand without one party deciding it's going to create friction? It wouldn't exist between two no-need-for-pleasantries people.
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As an introvert, i understand very well how extroverts think. For years i tried to become more extroverted, only to discover at a certain point that it's a dysfunctional path that leads to a superficial, seemingly fullfilling but unfocused and non-goal-directed lives. The nuance of conversation is a charm, it fades fast. The way I see it is time management: life is short, do you want to spend most of it dealing with…
And an extrovert trying to become an introvert would probably find himself incredibly bored and lonely. They're just two different orientations, we don't need to be constantly asserting superiority over one or the other.
I'd say that "it's probably best to be somewhere in the middle, so that you're neither worn out by social situations or bored by spending time alone" but there's probably enough self-aggrandisement in this thread already.
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How does it introduce sand without one party deciding it's going to create friction? It wouldn't exist between two no-need-for-pleasantries people.
Smalltalk is exactly how you find out what the other party's preferred communication style is. People don't give a shit about the weather. They talk about it because it's a convenient substrate to see how a person interacts. Are they terse? Long-winded? Sad? Happy? What kind of accent to they have? Do they seem busy?
"Rough day?"
Would you consider things like that small talk? I don't, and it's usually enough to decide how to proceed. Being direct can mean asking someone if they're up to dealing with what you have to say. I've found that empathy is a great conversation starter.
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Social niceties serve as a grease that makes the social interaction go smoothly. By avoiding those and being frank and direct you only introduce sand in the mechanism. There was a wonderful quote to this effect a while ago on HN but I can't quite find it.
I don't really understand how not going directly to the point can be better, for any mechanism.
Can you give me an example of the kind of small talk that you find to be painful?
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But do you enjoy acting extroverted? Do you enjoy gossipping and seeking out drama? Do you get bored when you've been alone for too long?
Saying the primary character traits of extroverts is gossipping and seeking drama is just silly. Extroverts make connections with many people (shallow extroverts are drama-seeking gossips), which most introverts simply can't understand. My wife, who is the premier example of an extrovert, has no interest in gossipping or in drama. I've seen far more drama in a group of forum-cruising introverts than in her life.
I think to an extent, we're debating the semantics of "extrovert".