121–130 of 402 posts
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What were the men's spaces before? Legitimate question as I may be too young to have known them.
Gentlemen clubs, country clubs, bars (although I don't think it should have been single gender), other than this.. I can't name many of the other ones. They were mostly gone by the time I became an adult. Anyways, I have heard of discrimination that men have faced when trying to create "safe"/support groups that were men only.
I think we're starting to hit a critical moment with this. As men we have an unbelievable amount of expectation on our reactions, communication, behavior, past behavior, and others behavior. (Their friends and their partners) On top of all of this: Men spaces have been mostly eliminated.
That's not really surprising, is it? Any minimally functional group eventually lead to opportunities. The outgroup (women in this case) want to access those opportunities. Any push back against that will be labeled as misogynistic or ridiculed. Men have no other choices than to open up the group and let it become just another open space for everyone. What is surprising is how some groups: 1) just lay down and accept…
I participated in men's work, not specifically the ManKind Project but a closely related organization. I personally found it helpful doing weekly check-ins and having people holding me accountable to my goals. Unfortunately, the stigma regarding men sharing feelings is prevalent in western society, and it's not only the men causing it. When I told several female friends about the work they did, their response was: "A…
I’m not sure this is only western society. Is there an indigenous culture that values male emotions without stigma? As I think about Asia and Africa, I’m drawing a blank on this. But I’d be happy to be shown wrong.
If the State monopolizes violence to the point that we can’t hash things out with our fists, and there’s no room in our society to emotionally vent, then what’s left? It’s not like violence disappeared from society, it just takes different forms when suppressed.
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"Men spaces have been mostly eliminated." An organization that was once called "Boy Scouts" is no longer catered only to young boys. And yet the Girl Scouts remain female only.
The Boy Scouts still are mostly single gender dens. I hope you are merely misinformed and not intentionally deceiving people with misleading comments. https://www.scouting.org/about/membership-policy/
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I've participated in some of this work and agree that having feeling-sharing be the top line item is misleading. Feelings are involved, but the core of it is to face what one has been avoiding, in order to become stronger and grow. There's plenty of room for stoicism in that. The way to overcome pain is to acknowledge and include it instead of denying it. The difference is huge, and most of us need help to get there—…
Ironizing?
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I thought the book was one of the better ones I've read on the topic, so I recommended it. It is not a spiritual book. I likewise would recommend reading "Islamic Patterns: An analytical and cosmological approach" when approaching geometry. Either the book is good or not in getting you to understand something you don't currently understand. I trust the reader to be able to make their own judgements, especially in thi…
I don't necessarily disagree, but: >This article seem to be written by an ideologically inclined woman. If you are calling out someone as being ideological and then recommending books that are based in a religious ideology, it seems relevant to make note of it.
In my opinion learning how to be adaptive in personal relationships and not pushing narratives onto the other is the most productive approach.
This is why I don’t think the two are similar in nature, although I think it’s great you brought it up so that everyone can judge for themselves with as much info as possible upfront.
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I’m not sure this is only western society. Is there an indigenous culture that values male emotions without stigma? As I think about Asia and Africa, I’m drawing a blank on this. But I’d be happy to be shown wrong.
You can have emotionless warriors or you can have emotional pacifists. You might even have emotional warriors, but emotionless pacifists is a hard sell. If the State monopolizes violence to the point that we can’t hash things out with our fists, and there’s no room in our society to emotionally vent, then what’s left? It’s not like violence disappeared from society, it just takes different forms when suppressed.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m not sure this is only western society. Is there an indigenous culture that values male emotions without stigma? As I think about Asia and Africa, I’m drawing a blank on this. But I’d be happy to be shown wrong.
You can have emotionless warriors or you can have emotional pacifists. You might even have emotional warriors, but emotionless pacifists is a hard sell. If the State monopolizes violence to the point that we can’t hash things out with our fists, and there’s no room in our society to emotionally vent, then what’s left? It’s not like violence disappeared from society, it just takes different forms when suppressed.
There is much beauty and wonder in the interplay between as well as within the genders. However, men are not imperfect women that would be improved if we adopted the other genders mannerisms. We both need to be open to listening to each other when providing the loving support that we want and need. This article seem to be written by an ideologically inclined woman. A woman trying to understand the men in her life bet…
> men are not imperfect women that would be improved if we adopted the other genders mannerisms. Divulging one's emotional state is not a "[female] mannerism". It is a basic, androgynous function of all social beings. It's endlessly frustrating to have my faculties gendered away from me.
I suggest reading the book if you are interested in the topic because it’s not saying what you think it says and will help you utilize your faculties more adaptively.
In the worst case you think it’s bull.
I participated in men's work, not specifically the ManKind Project but a closely related organization. I personally found it helpful doing weekly check-ins and having people holding me accountable to my goals. Unfortunately, the stigma regarding men sharing feelings is prevalent in western society, and it's not only the men causing it. When I told several female friends about the work they did, their response was: "A…