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Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

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301–310 of 374 posts

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#301
post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Adding to that, we need to be especially wary of righteous belligerence targeting sexual immorality. We have an ancient and rarely broken tradition of ruining people by accusing them of sexual misbehavior. Infidelity, promiscuity, homosexuality. OScar Wilde & Alan Turing come to mind, from an endless list.

As an LGBT person (both L and T), please don't compare me to cheaters. We're nothing alike, and I find it deeply insulting when people compare cheating with sexual orientation.

You wouldn't find it insulting, if you actually understood what he/she said

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whatever you think that a civilized society "ought" to move away from, then fact of the matter is that the rest of society doesn't agree with you. And, in fact, married people are (typically) not "free to fuck," and when they do fuck extramaritally, they are (typically) not happier for doing it, and their spouses are (even more typically) not happier for them doing it. This is a descriptive statement, not a prescript…

It's an evidenceless statement, full of self righteous judgmental undertones. "civilized society" is not disney cartoons and soap operas. There is no reason to add anything to the statement that adults are free to handle their relationships as they choose. No need to add a "but I think they're wrong to do it".

It is usually seen 'wrong' to unilateraly and sneakily violates the terms of a contract.

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To cheat, to break your word given to a life partner, is not just distasteful. It is wrong. It makes the world a darker place, and not only to you and your partner (and that is what wrong means) I know this kind of statement is viewed with distrust. And I see why this is so. But I think some moral discussion might be good (rather than just the bland 'lets not judge') First, I am not saying that I think all marriages…

The time, place, and manner of sex or other activity that occurs between two consenting adults is none of my business whatsoever unless one of those people is my spouse. When one of those people is my spouse and the other is not me, then my problem is with my spouse, not with any website or other instrument used to facilitate the infidelity. What meaning would an agreement such as marriage have if cheating were liter…

>Let's discuss how we can keep from inflicting our own personal morals on those who do not share our moral philosophies

The interesting question, is, of course, which are private matters and which are matters of injustice that 'society' should intervene to fix.

THE WHOLE QUESTION is whether or not cheating is 'a private matter' or 'an injustice that ...'. Just stating that it is 'private' does not seem to be an answer to the question. If I understood you correctly, your argument it 'is is private, leave it alone, else someone else will mess with other private issues'. Why do you think it belongs to the 'private' rather than 'injustice' category?

> one-up us all with an even better morality than the one we already have.

For me, that would be very nice indeed! Convincing moral arguments are very rare!

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#304
post #240

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The sites sole purpose is inherently harmful. The ads speak for themselves: https://www.google.com/search?q=ashlymadison+ads

This is not a factual statement. It's your opinion. It isn't up to you to decide this for other people.

Its intent is to do something which harms. I don't think the infinitesimal collection of people who want their partners to "cheat" on them justify the flexibility you're implying. Basically, what you are saying, is that some people are not harmed by being cheated on, and therefore it isn't fair for us to judge the actions of the sites users, because maybe all or most of them are in a situation where there is no harm.

I think the simpler explanation (and likely more accurate one) is that in most cases, each AM user has at least one partner which is being harmed by the user's actions and use of the site.

Being accepting and tolerant of different types of relationships and desires is a separate issue. The site was created for, and is marketed towards, people who want to cheat (in the traditional, harmful sense) on their current partners.

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#305
post #181

https://twitter.com/PreachySnow/ > Do you know what some men do when they find out their wives have been cheating? They beat them. They kill them. They don't just leave. Also, users of Ashley Madison could lose their jobs. You know, their support system that allows them to take care of their kids. Millions of people being revealed for committing adultery isn't anything to rejoice about. This is not the way to handle…

Yeah, those women knew what they were getting into. Not to be callous, but you don't marry someone who would kill you for cheating without knowing somewhere in your heart that's a possibility.

That is more ignorant than callous. It's plain wrong. To go further, abuse is in no way the victim's fault.

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#306
post #291

Earlier quoted context omitted.

False equivalence. Adultery is not a crime. Trafficking in child pornography is. Nobody has a right to private criminality.

Crime or not, they're both immoral. Nobody has a right to private immoral activity.

Anyone can make that argument about anything, so what you're saying is "I don't believe there should be such a thing as privacy".

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#307

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a third option which is don't cheat. I've never done it but my last long term relationship ended with her doing it, things hadn't been good for a while. Ironically a year out I think her cheating made things easier for me (knowing there was zero way back makes a clean break simpler). I'd never cheat on anyone, I'd end things first no matter the circumstances.

You can say that on an individual basis but it doesn't change the aggregate behavior of our kind.

Very true but I still like to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back.

In a sense that's all you can do.

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#308
post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is not a factual statement. It's your opinion. It isn't up to you to decide this for other people.

Its intent is to do something which harms. I don't think the infinitesimal collection of people who want their partners to "cheat" on them justify the flexibility you're implying. Basically, what you are saying, is that some people are not harmed by being cheated on, and therefore it isn't fair for us to judge the actions of the sites users, because maybe all or most of them are in a situation where there is no harm.…

First, you're putting words in my mouth. All I did was point out that you're just spouting opinions as given facts.

Secondly, still, you continue to make value judgments based on your own personal ethics and assume they're universal truths. Whether there is harm (as you say) truly is debatable. Ending a marriage is breaking your contract, doing something your spouse doesn't like is "harmful". Which ones are ok? Maybe this cheating for many people ends up being a one time thing that the person needed to do to either realize they want to end the marriage or realize they want to change something. Or some other outcome. Regardless, it isn't your or anyone else's job to decide, so please keep your moralizing to yourself.

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#309

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You didn't ask me, but the correct answer is 'none.'

Cool, so it's alright for me to air your dirtiest of laundry? I'll remember that.

It is perfectly legal, yes. You still are an asshole if you do it.

Re: Online Cheating Site AshleyMadison Hacked

#310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The time, place, and manner of sex or other activity that occurs between two consenting adults is none of my business whatsoever unless one of those people is my spouse. When one of those people is my spouse and the other is not me, then my problem is with my spouse, not with any website or other instrument used to facilitate the infidelity. What meaning would an agreement such as marriage have if cheating were liter…

>Let's discuss how we can keep from inflicting our own personal morals on those who do not share our moral philosophies The interesting question, is, of course, which are private matters and which are matters of injustice that 'society' should intervene to fix. THE WHOLE QUESTION is whether or not cheating is 'a private matter' or 'an injustice that ...'. Just stating that it is 'private' does not seem to be an answe…

I think I was quite clear as to why a marital relationship is a private matter.

I think we can agree that in society there are many different moral systems. Now I will use the words "good" and "bad" with the stipulation that these words have no inherent meaning, but instead only have the meaning that we apply to them from within our own personal moral system. You can compare another moral system to your own, and decide that it is "better" or "worse" but you cannot make an objective determination. Now, you can decide that your morality where adultery should be prohibited/prevented/punished is better for your purposes than mine where adultery is none of the government's business, but that is just your personal preference. The problem is that this may never end and there is always another fellow who is more moral than you or I or both of us, and whose morality tells him that shoes are immoral or that red-haired people are witches or something like that; and this fellow wants the government to segregate the witches for the protection of the good moral folks, and also prevent everyone from wearing shoes, even firemen. So, we have to compromise on our morality and find a set of common rules upon which most of us can agree and which will protect people from serious harm even if it allows for some behavior that makes some of us uncomfortable.

Why do you think that two other peoples' marriage is some concern to you, or to society at large? And please, no references to vague concepts that we have no real definition of such as 'making the world a darker place'

>For me, that would be very nice indeed! Convincing moral arguments are very rare!

That's because morals are very personal, arbitrary, and often irrational.

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