61–70 of 71 posts
Many people have a big problem, that is that other people seem to think they have a problem. If you don't think you have a problem, guess what? Maybe you really don't. No matter what some busybody a hole says.
But then again, maybe you do. Saying "I don't have a problem because I don't believe I do" is begging the question. Many drug addicts don't believe that they have a problem, but they clearly do.
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If you can't make new friends, then you've got bigger problems than overwork.
If you can't make new friends, then you've got bigger problems than overwork. You're missing the point. New friends don't "replace" old friends the way a new dollar bill can replace one you lost gambling. As I said, friends and family are not fungible.
You can't say, "good/old friends are irreplaceable so why bother to make new friends once I've lost them."
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If you can't make new friends, then you've got bigger problems than overwork. You're missing the point. New friends don't "replace" old friends the way a new dollar bill can replace one you lost gambling. As I said, friends and family are not fungible.
You're missing the point. While family members and 'old friends' are irreplaceable, if you've screwed up all of your relationships beyond repair, you've got to rebuild from somewhere no? You can't say, "good/old friends are irreplaceable so why bother to make new friends once I've lost them."
I'm not saying that; that's as extreme as what I'm arguing against. Obviously you've gotta move forward ... you can't just give up on life if there's a setback. And I generally agree with you that more often than not relationships can be repaired.
But people shouldn't believe that they can just get all of these relationships and lost time back: at best, they can do better moving forward. You can't get your twenties back if you burn them in an office somewhere and you can't get time with your parents back if they, for instance, pass away while you're all wrapped up in your startup.
Pay attention to your life, you only live once, as far as we know. If you wake up one morning to realize you've made mistakes, don't wallow in regret, change your course for the better.
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No matter how many friends you may have lost, there's lots of people in this world. Yes, but friends and family are not fungible. You can't just replace them with new friends and family without consequence.
The point being that you shouldn't cut yourself off from the world and feel like your are alone just because you've screwed up some relationships. If you've screwed up some relationships beyond repair, then seek out new ones rather than isolating yourself and lamenting over what you've lost. That path only ends in depression or madness.
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You're missing the point. While family members and 'old friends' are irreplaceable, if you've screwed up all of your relationships beyond repair, you've got to rebuild from somewhere no? You can't say, "good/old friends are irreplaceable so why bother to make new friends once I've lost them."
You can't say, "good/old friends are irreplaceable so why bother to make new friends once I've lost them." I'm not saying that; that's as extreme as what I'm arguing against. Obviously you've gotta move forward ... you can't just give up on life if there's a setback. And I generally agree with you that more often than not relationships can be repaired. But people shouldn't believe that they can just get all of these…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
You can't say, "good/old friends are irreplaceable so why bother to make new friends once I've lost them." I'm not saying that; that's as extreme as what I'm arguing against. Obviously you've gotta move forward ... you can't just give up on life if there's a setback. And I generally agree with you that more often than not relationships can be repaired. But people shouldn't believe that they can just get all of these…
That was my original point. That he/she should make new friends/reconnect with old friends. He/she seems to be in the mindset that, "things have been screwed up, so just throw yourself even more into your startup because you've already invested the loss of your social life as a 'sunk cost.'" I'm trying to say not to do that.
If you look at successful people - no matter if it's in business, sports of mathematics then one thing they have in common is hard and challenging work over longer periods of time. You won't get good at golf, programming or business by not practicing it a lot - and others that work harder than you will outperform you at some point, no matter what your initial talents are. Is hard work an addiction? It probably is, bu…
Hard work != addiction to work.
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Enjoying yourself such that you lose track of time -- when it happens all the time -- is a bad thing. Imagine yourself saying the same thing about anything else you can get addicted to. "I watch 14 hours of television a day because I genuinely just enjoy it." "I drink 14 bottles of beer a day because I genuinely just enjoy it."
Yes and no. What if you were so excited about painting that you spent 16 hours a day painting. You produce the greatest masterpieces man has ever seen, you change the world of art forever... but yeah, you're an addict. So what? What's so bad about being addicted to something worthwhile? It's pretty usual to hear about musicians who will spend 20 hours a day in the studio getting their songs just right. Artists of all…
I suspect the difference between painting 16 hours a day, assuming this is what you really enjoy, and working 16 hours a day, trying to be profitable, is in stress. (But then I'm not a painter, so I wouldn't know)
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We have some! http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=330582 40-50 66 (25.00%) 50-60 52 (19.70%) 30-40 42 (15.91%) 60-70 35 (13.26%) 80+ 21 (7.95%) 70-80 16 (6.06%) 5-20 14 (5.30%) 20-30 11 (4.17%) 0-4 7 (2.65%) 264 points over 9 options
Cool, but you can't say "it's getting out of hand" from a single data point.
This couldn't come at a better / worse time for me. I finished college 3 years ago, and spent the last 3 years building a startup. It's an extremely stressful time at the moment, and we're in talks with our first "big fish" (> 1 million / year) clients. Basically, it either needs to work out in the next 6 months or the plug will be pulled. Lately, I've been feeling socially isolated big time. I've been neglecting a l…
Right now it all comes down to changing perspective: take distance from work and realize it's far from everything. I might even enjoy it again if I do. And the Christmas season is probably a good time to call a few lost friends.
Once again, thanks for all the kind replies. This hacker is just going through a rough time, but will definitely come out stronger. It just sucks when you're in the middle of it. :-)