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Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

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Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

AFAIK it didn't on bbc.co.uk. Perhaps bbc.com but I don't look at that. It's all about FIFA bribes and rollercoaster accidents.

Both of which are generally more "BBC newsworthy" for us UK residents. With that said, I don't do Football and was part of the Runaway Mine Train crash.

I went on that in the early 1990s when it opened. Hope you didn't get injured!

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#92
post #72

For those like me that are wondering what is going on, apparently some Silicon Valley executive died recently.

A human being died and another human being went through grief and wrote a moving post about her journey. Do you really need to apply (what I'm sensing to be) pejorative labels to it?

Death may not be your typical HN fare, but it is a subject that touches all of us eventually, so far with no exception. I am glad that she was willing to write this and share it. My life is richer for having read it.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#93
post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe it to be distasteful to use the death of someone whom this community has some connection to push a separate agenda. You can call out our priorities as being too short-sighted if you want, but this is a poor way to do it.

"This community" and "our priorities"? That's exactly my point.

Please stop.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#94
post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

His death made the front page of the BBC website.

So what? People die all the time, we don't need a post about it, let alone some religious spiel.

When people think that any passage of any length that mentions religion, however briefly, is a "religious spiel," I find it just as baffling as folks who insist that anything anyone does must include a prayer.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#95
post #3

Paul Buchheit wrote a wonderful post, after similar circumstances, that I often re-read: > On a more practical level, what matters most in our day-to-day lives is that we're good to ourselves and to each other. It's actually not possible to only do one or the other -- we must do both or neither, but that's a topic for another time. Sometimes, when I write about startups or other interests of mine, I worry that perhap…

Investing money, creating new products, and all the other things we do are wonderful games and can be a lot of fun, but it's important to remember that it's all just a game. I feel like this sentiment is very common, but is implicitly stating that all of the other things, family, friends, personal health etc... are not games - when I don't see why that would be the case. Nothing distinguishes those things for me. Cre…

I think part of the reason "investing money, creating new products", etc. are "games" is that they're often done only to earn money. It's like a clicker game where you click on a button and gain gold, and you don't give a damn whether the button says "save drowning children" or "OMG ROTFL WTF", as long as it pays out.

> Winning in my opinion then, is having an (hopefully positive) impact on those outside of your inner circle, not within it. And the larger the impact, the bigger the win.

I share that sentiment. And then I find most of startups to be stupid games - because only few of them are made to have that impact; majority is created to trick people into joining, which generates growth, which increases the chance you'll have a successful "exit" and boatloads of money. But if one genuinely goes for having a positive impact, fixing or enhancing something about our world, then I cheer the effort. And this is something I myself would want to do - so that on my deathbed I may find comfort in that I left the world a little bit better place than I found it.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#96
post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

His death made the front page of the BBC website.

AFAIK it didn't on bbc.co.uk. Perhaps bbc.com but I don't look at that. It's all about FIFA bribes and rollercoaster accidents.

I'm British reading from the UK. He died weeks ago.

However, it wouldn't take much reading to realise that a) this wasn't just some dude who died and b) this isn't just some wifey who is talking about her grief.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Investing money, creating new products, and all the other things we do are wonderful games and can be a lot of fun, but it's important to remember that it's all just a game. I feel like this sentiment is very common, but is implicitly stating that all of the other things, family, friends, personal health etc... are not games - when I don't see why that would be the case. Nothing distinguishes those things for me. Cre…

What are the things that—on your deathbed—you expect to regret? Will it be that you didn't spend as much time as you could've with your parents before they died? How about with your siblings? Maybe it was all of the times that you didn't make it to your kids' soccer games, piano recitals, school plays, or graduations? Or will it be that you didn't spend nearly enough nights at the office fixing your social media star…

> What are the things that—on your deathbed—you expect to regret?

What does it matter?

Let's say the deathbed will last seven days. That's nothing compared to the rest of your life (let's say ~70 years). Why would you guide your life according to a projection of what you will feel in a mere seven days of your whole life?

Why not ask more immediate questions: is anything I do right now, day to day, that I could do differently in order to live a more fulfilling life? A more fulfilling life day to day of course, not necessarily fulfilling memories for some distant deathbed future.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#98
post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

His death made the front page of the BBC website.

So what? People die all the time, we don't need a post about it, let alone some religious spiel.

A little bit of research would uncover that, in the tech startup worldwide community, Dave Goldberg was one of the most loved entrepreneurs.

The fact that he was Sheryl Sandberg's husband (and the very fact the he was proud to be described as such) is what put him on the front of the BBC.

Hacker News is first-and-foremost a forum of that tech startup community. I'm not one, but many people who frequent here will have known and looked up to if not one then both of the people mentioned here.

It might have been nice to have considered them before reacting like this to the death of their friend.

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#99
post #72

For those like me that are wondering what is going on, apparently some Silicon Valley executive died recently.

I'm a little surprised that this needed to be said. I wasn't aware of the event or any of the people involved, but the first five sentences made it clear that this is a piece by a woman whose husband has just died. It didn't really make me dig for it.

I think the GP was trying to preemptively answer the question "why is this on HN?". Usually when there is a story about someone's recent death here, it's either someone relevant to the community (e.g. death in the family of one of fellow HNers) or relevant to the technological world (e.g. famous computer scientists, physicists, etc.).

Re: Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband

#100
post #3

Paul Buchheit wrote a wonderful post, after similar circumstances, that I often re-read: > On a more practical level, what matters most in our day-to-day lives is that we're good to ourselves and to each other. It's actually not possible to only do one or the other -- we must do both or neither, but that's a topic for another time. Sometimes, when I write about startups or other interests of mine, I worry that perhap…

Investing money, creating new products, and all the other things we do are wonderful games and can be a lot of fun, but it's important to remember that it's all just a game. I feel like this sentiment is very common, but is implicitly stating that all of the other things, family, friends, personal health etc... are not games - when I don't see why that would be the case. Nothing distinguishes those things for me. Cre…

> We wouldn't be quoting Paul Buchheit or talking about Dave Sandberg if they hadn't sacrificed some of those relationships, or health for the products and platforms that we know them for. And that's the real point - legacy. Someone's legacy is not the relationships they had personally, just look at the miserable relationship failures of Steve Jobs, but their impact on bringing their vision and impact on groups outside of their circle.

It seems to me that you're measuring the quality of a person's "legacy" by how famous they managed to get. That seems like a really horrible rule to live your life by. I would much rather be a little person who brightened some other little people's lives than an asshole who cheated his best friend and abandoned his child but, gosh, sure did make some cool toys and a lot of money.

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