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Get Your Shit Together

getyourshittogether.org

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Re: Get Your Shit Together

#141

Post by immy »

thehoff wrote: post #38
pzxc wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the law…

It's at least a checklist and covers stuff you should be thinking about but may not have thought of (even if not financial such as the Thoughts section). For instance, my wife and I need more videos of us and not just the kid. If something happened to me tomorrow I would love it if my wife could show him videos of me when he gets older. I agree that maybe the site needs a disclaimer that getting a lawyer is better bu…

For the videos, you two might want to record some of your stories and values. If you have iPhones, I've built an app that guides you through it -- http://www.oakvideos.com

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#142

Post by beat »

breischl wrote: post #81

I've lately been pondering how to handle the passwords piece of this. I use 1Password, which is convenient because I have a handy-dandy database of passwords, but makes it unrealistic that I'll write them all down on paper. So the problem becomes passing along that database and the master password for it. I also want to avoid giving that to anybody before I'm dead, for obvious reasons. My best plan so far is to put t…

I use Keeper to manage my passwords. I use randomly generated hard passwords for all but a few things, so I need it. What isn't random is the password to my laptop, to my phone, and to Keeper. My wife and daughter both know those passwords, just in case.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#143

Post by beat »

A little over a week ago, I had a Branch Vein Retinal Occlusion - basically, a stroke in my retina. I cannot read with my right eye now, and that may or may not heal. This makes me think, a lot.

First, it could have been an inch back in my head, and I might not be here to talk about it at all. Or I could be hospitalized for an extended time, or a vegetable, or permanently unable to work.

Second, there's about a one in six chance it will happen again. If that happens, I could lose my other eye, and my ability to read - thus ending my career. I'd also lose driving and any number of other things I enjoy.

Is my shit together? No. I just assume my assets go to my wife, and she can share out what she feels should be shared out with our now-adult children, friends, and my (distant) family.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#144

Post by bbanyc »

__z wrote: post #31

I doubt these documents would be worth anything without getting notarized. Among other problems. Getting something notarized runs from free-around $2 so it's hilarious they expect you to track down two impartial witnesses but don't even mention a notary public. If you are familiar with the current pending Supreme Court case DeBoer v. Snyder (which for the Supreme Court was combined with 3 other cases) you'd know in m…

The law of wills can be peculiar. Under New York law a will MUST be signed by two witnesses to be valid (EPTL §3-2.1). A notarization won't cut it - a notary can be a witness just like anyone else but you still need a second witness.

On the other hand a trust can be either notarized or witnessed (EPTL §7-1.17) and a power of attorney must be notarized (General Obligations Law §5-1501B, which also requires a typeface "no less than twelve point in size").

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#145

Post by vacri »

sukilot wrote: post #123
tomjen3 wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I strongly disagree with that view. I don't have children of my own and while I would open the door at 3 am to take friends in (or heck a neighbor) while we get things sorted out taking on children is a major life disrupting experience. So yes saying no would be selfish, assuming that any of your friends would have their lives completely disrupted just because you have children seems quite a bit more selfish.

The point is that throughout history, raising children are considered the point of life, not trophies that are otherwise a distraction from vacations and toys.

Well, no. Traditionally care for those kids goes to the extended family, not the friends. Sneering at friends who won't take in children is not something that you can support in terms of an argument of tradition.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#146

Post by realdlee »

courtewing wrote: post #13

This is great advice all around, but get a local lawyer involved to prepare your will. Even in US, there is not a single set of laws that apply to wills and power of attorney. It varies state by state. With a generic template pulled from the internet, you could just be doing a whole lot of work and ultimately be ending up with a document that has little legal basis. Do your loved ones a favor - hire a lawyer to do it…

There are plenty of bad lawyers out there, so if you're going to hire one, please do the legwork (get referrals, speak to multiple candidates) to find a good, trusted one.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#147

Post by renox »

A will? My father died recently and he did not make a will and it would have been quite useless, but we're a very simple family: no divorce, and none of us are poor.. So YMMV.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#148

Post by [deleted] »

rmxt wrote: post #60
briandear wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You trust the government to do that? You're braver than I am. I would expect the government would have a great time knowing about everyone's end of life plans. The IRS would certainly love it. I don't trust the government to wash my car let alone ensure my family is protected if I were to die.

You, presumably as an American citizen, already trust the government to do a whole lot more than "wash your car," so the fear seems a bit unfounded. You implicitly trust them to fund/manage/develop/build: the entire infrastructure your car rides on (and which your safety depends on), the educational system that will likely educate/indoctrinate your children for 12+ years, and the legal system (and all of it's record…

[deleted]

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#149

Post by Thimothy »

mootothemax wrote: post #36

My father died in extremely unexpected circumstances, and as much as a will would've been handy (understatement of the year), there are other bits that save heartache and frustrated compromise. For example: - do you want to be buried or cremated? And where? Any thoughts on coffin design? - do you want a church service or something else? What songs, how big, as many details as possible. It's morbid stuff, but by writi…

Curious. I never gave it a thought because I always assumed that the funeral is for the ones that keep on living, so it's on them to figure out which kind of mourning ritual would help them cope with the lose better.

To be fair, if I someone made me go through coffin designs for my own coffin, or any kind of arrangement, chances are it would end in a practical joke. I just don't give a damn.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#150

Post by grkvlt »

jobu wrote: post #30
pzxc wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the law…

> Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. My guess is it struck a chord with people similar to myself - young family and minimal EOL planning. (although the snarky domain definitely helps) For us, the biggest problem has been deciding who should take care of the kids if something h…

> who should take care of the kids if something happens to both myself and my spouse

I would expect this to be a very rare occurrence. Most likely is an accident that kills one of the parents only, but in most scenarios where both parents are together, they would have the children with them. I guess it's always important to plan for risks, even if they are rare, if the consequences are very bad - 'high threat, low probability' is the military term, I believe?

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