[deleted]
Be Kind
261–270 of 401 posts
Re: Be Kind
#262[deleted]
Re: Be Kind
#263This is a fantastic article from Boz. I have to be blunt in my criticism, however, as I imagine Boz would expect and appreciate. I had a few run-ins with him in the early 2010s and I don't see much evidence that he learned from these experiences or changed his basic working pattern. Or maybe he was even more raw before I met him. :) I learned very early on not to have anything Boz wanted nor to cross him. It's hard t…
Yup, this post is about the start of a journey that is still ongoing for me. It still takes work and I still lose focus and do poorly and tried to call that out at the end. To your specific point, I probably was even worse in 2008 than what you experienced in 2010. That's probably true at every point since. I'm getting better, but I am sure you can find people even in the last year who would say this post doesn't ref…
>> So why was I being sidelined? I demanded answers. Dustin did not disappoint.
Nice, you have some storytelling skills :) I'd bet those will come in handy once you learn to apply them for your human communication skills.
Re: Be Kind
#264Maybe this is a low blow but if there's one place that needs a little less kindness and a lot more truth it's the Facebook News Feed. It's real nice that they only show you news they think you'll like but it seems pretty irresponsible. If they really want to make the world a better place they should come up with some way of spotting some of the verifiably false news stories that get posted there. They could do it nic…
That is an interesting perspective; "have set him up with sturdier folks". Coming from a construction background myself, I find I need to work on my behavior, as engineers are much more sensitive than construction workers and actually anyone I have ever worked with, even sales people. I work with another guy, who was a previous auto-mechanic and we get along great. Might make sense to add a study as to personalities,…
Yeah programmers can be delicate. Maybe they used up all the sturdy folks they could find. "Dammit Boz that's the third dev you've broken this week! This time it's coming out of your salary!"
Re: Be Kind
#265Earlier quoted context omitted.
ha. your welcome! maybe turn it into a C poem and wear as a T-shirt? I once had the following printed on a T-shirt and wore to a Meetup.com event here in Colorado, and out of the crowd an early Bell Labs alumnus (C/UNIX era) emerged and tried to recruit me: while (!(success = try())); perhaps: void whatever(params) { assert assume_im_not_an_idiot_kid_please_get_off_my_lawn_been_there_done_that_have_the_shirt_thanks(p…
haha that's hilarious, I don't think I have enough rep to make my voting count, but I nevertheless upvoted you just in case. And I should warn you! I WILL make a T-shirt and give you credit.
consider me forewarned. if in twenty years I'm retired living on a golden yacht sailing the icy seas of Europa I hope a non-trivial portion of my income is coming from the royalties on the sales of that T-shirt.
and/or from the earnings on my book series The Dread Space Pirate Richard. (srsly)
or... savings from my day job. a good strategy has several fallbacks. :-P
Re: Be Kind
#266Earlier quoted context omitted.
Indeed. We should be under no illusion -- employment is a popularity contest. In non-startups, the only thing that matters is how much the people around you, especially the high-ranking people, like you. Other things matter only in the most extreme circumstances -- every normal value can be hand-waved away if the boss likes you enough. If you want to be a successful employee, view yourself as a politician and run a s…
Why bother learning how to write software? I should have focused on sales if that's the only skill that matters.
If your goal is to have a glorifying career and make lots of money, you should have focused on sales skills.
Re: Be Kind
#267Whoa, this hit too close to home...
Re: Be Kind
#268Earlier quoted context omitted.
What if you could see who downvoted you? I'd be less annoyed by a downvote from pg, because I probably deserved it, than a downvote from someone completely random, who I might not care about. In some ways, I also wish downvoting cost you a point like it does on stackoverflow.
I don't think the upvote/downvote system here provides enough feedback to the person being voted. There just isn't the information there. For the longest time I was confused at seeing down-voted comments because I mentally assumed that downvotes mean "this is a troll comment / this is some kind of abusive comment". Not so. Also (and I've said this before so apologies for repeating myself!), if downvotes do mean 'disa…
From what I understand, upvotes signify "this adds to the conversation" and downvotes signify "this subtracts from the conversation" -- it's a stronger sentiment than disagreement, but weaker than trolling or abuse (which is what flags are for.)
If a comment is disagreeable but worthwhile, my preference is to give a substantive response. If a comment is value-subtracting, even if I agree with the sentiment, I'll downvote it (and may take the time to explain the downvote if I think my explanation will be helpful.)
The main attributes I consider to make a comment value-subtracting are:
- substantial factual errors (not just a nitpick, but core to the point)
- gratuitous negativity or unnecessary incivility
- waste of space ("me too", memes or jokes except if they're edw519 caliber, excessive references to irrelevant topics such as mentioning someone else's religion several times in a thread that has nothing to do with that)
- extremely poor reasoning or communication, to the degree that trying to engage substantively becomes difficult
Re: Be Kind
#269The older I get, the more amazed I am at how truly difficult it can be to be consistently kind.
Re: Be Kind
#270I don't agree with the author. Did that my first sentence above just hurt the feelings of the author or or many of the readers over here? Please read on. This kind of philosophies (be kind-hearted, be tolerant etc) are the ones making humanity loose their natural vigor and push people into unnatural soft-minded, lame and vulnerable population. These self-restricting rules makes you neutral and weak against someone wh…
I don't agree with you.
I don't know what your environment is like, but I notice a lot of people who are pointlessly aggressive and competitive, or who premise their aggression on being right about something they're actually wrong about. That doesn't make these people stronger and it doesn't make the world better. It would work better if everyone just focused on doing their own best job, and constantly checked themselves for correctness, rather than acting like they're never wrong, tearing other people down and trying to make themselves look better than they are. Those activities are not producing anything real.
Most of the time we are really all just trying to get by and perhaps achieve some shared goal, there is no game to win, and the people who are acting that way are just being asshats. It is not somehow clear-minded and objective to constantly strive for "supremacy" by aggression toward others, it's just messed-up and insecure.
(And what gives with implying that weakness is inherent to women? That's something that has no proof at all.)