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Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

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Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#11

Post by systemtrigger »

dpapathanasiou wrote: post #4
chaosmachine wrote: post #2

There was a study recently that said people are less likely to achieve their goals when they tell other people about them. Here's an article that discusses it: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/200905/... And the actual study, "When intentions go public : Does social reality widen the intention-behavior gap?" [PDF]: http://www.uni-konstanz.de/psychologie/gollwitzer/PUBLICATIO...

There was a study recently that said people are less likely to achieve their goals when they tell other people about them. It's interesting that Robert Cialdini says the opposite; according to his concept of "Commitment and Consistency", if people commit, orally or in writing, to an idea or goal, they are more likely to honor that commitment ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini#Six_.E2.80.9CWe... ).

So does G. Richard Shell in Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People. Shell, a Wharton professor, cites a study where half of negotiators committed to a goal in writing and the other half did not. Those who wrote down their goals were far more likely to win at the negotiation table. I picked up the book last week after several people here recommended it and am enjoying the many examples from famous people with which Shell peppers his lessons. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0143036971

Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#12

Post by DanielBMarkham »

For some reason I find that the more people I tell something, the less likely it is to happen.

So, for instance, I don't talk about potential sales calls, leads, stuff I'm picking up, projects I'm working on -- anything that could possibly be "jinxed"

It's probably just superstition, but dang if every time I talk about one of these things it seems to ruin it.

Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#13

Post by jacquesm »

chime wrote: post #9

> (you know, the one you really should be working on right now). This is the problem really. Don't compel yourself to do anything you don't want to. Don't guilt yourself into thinking that you should be doing something else instead of what you really want to do. Stop doing this in the name of productivity, efficiency, ambition, or goals. Instead, focus your energy on making yourself realize why something must be done…

Different strokes for different folks!

What works for me may not work for others, that's for sure.

I've always worked with lists and commitments, that's the way I structure my time.

If it is on the list it will get done sooner or later. If I commit to a time it will probably get done by that time. If I commit to it publicly then it will get done by that time.

When faced with a thousand choices and many of those are more interesting than that ones that should be done the danger of leaving the things that have to be done until it is too late is very real (for me).

I'd rather be washing your dishes because it would make you and your wife happy than I would do my own, but those need to be done as well. (my own solution to this is very close to yours, use as little stuff as possible).

I've rebuilt a house, without the lists to keep me going I would have surely given up. And without telling people that I would have phase 'x' finished at such and such a date I would have finished a lot later.

So, this is my way, I'm impressed with yours, and I wished I could self motivate for the drudgework as well as you apparently can but I feel I need a little extra push.

Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#14

Post by jacquesm »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #12

For some reason I find that the more people I tell something, the less likely it is to happen. So, for instance, I don't talk about potential sales calls, leads, stuff I'm picking up, projects I'm working on -- anything that could possibly be "jinxed" It's probably just superstition, but dang if every time I talk about one of these things it seems to ruin it.

Not that long ago you wrote here that you were building something and that you would be releasing it soon, how is that coming along ?

Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#16

Post by dpcan »

This is not blackmail, it's called being "accountable". When you say you're going to do something, you do it. Again, this is not blackmail, this is how successful, trustworthy people operate every day.

From your profile, you seem to understand this, but do others not?

What is happening to this world when accountability has become a surprising new concept????

Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#17

Post by chime »

jacquesm wrote: post #13
chime wrote: post #9

> (you know, the one you really should be working on right now). This is the problem really. Don't compel yourself to do anything you don't want to. Don't guilt yourself into thinking that you should be doing something else instead of what you really want to do. Stop doing this in the name of productivity, efficiency, ambition, or goals. Instead, focus your energy on making yourself realize why something must be done…

Different strokes for different folks! What works for me may not work for others, that's for sure. I've always worked with lists and commitments, that's the way I structure my time. If it is on the list it will get done sooner or later. If I commit to a time it will probably get done by that time. If I commit to it publicly then it will get done by that time. When faced with a thousand choices and many of those are m…

Side note: I have a lot of respect for you and your work. My comment above is in no way an attempt to disrespect you or your work ethic. Reocities is an awesome project and how you managed to do it was even better.

You're right about different strokes. I don't expect everyone to do what I do in the same way. However, I question the underlying premise behind having to do things you REALLY don't want to do. My comment was really about making sure you don't have too many of those.

> I've always worked with lists and commitments...

> I've rebuilt a house, without the lists to keep me going I would have surely given up.

Talking about lists, I live by them. I even wrote my own todo-list app (like every run-of-the-mill hacker) called http://untodos.com that works with my personality. I put things in Today / Soon / Whenever buckets and move them around depending on real-life situations. If something has been in the soon list for too long, I'll revisit it and either drag it up to Today or down to Whenever. I guess it is a very personal list and unlike you, I don't want to tell people publicly about what I intend to do, willingly or not.

> When faced with a thousand choices and many of those are more interesting...

Not to judge you for being so enterprising, but do you feel having a thousand choices is actually a good thing? I've worked in many interesting projects and a couple of startups over the last decade and found that individuals with too many interesting projects rarely brought a project to fruition. On the other hand, those with just a handful of interesting projects successfully completed most of them. It's the old "too many eggs in a basket" issue. Lot of entrepreneurs are afraid of putting all their eggs in a basket so they begin to get more baskets till there's too many baskets and too few eggs. If you feel compelled to do something instead of what you really want to do, is it because you have too many interesting baskets? Again, this is a personal preference and the # of baskets you are comfortable with will be different from mine.

> I'd rather be washing your dishes...

Is that a public admission of a task you will eventually get around to doing? If so, you're always welcome to St. Petersburg, Florida. We live 5mins from the beautiful Gulf of Mexico.

Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#18

Post by DanielBMarkham »

jacquesm wrote: post #14
DanielBMarkham wrote: post #12

For some reason I find that the more people I tell something, the less likely it is to happen. So, for instance, I don't talk about potential sales calls, leads, stuff I'm picking up, projects I'm working on -- anything that could possibly be "jinxed" It's probably just superstition, but dang if every time I talk about one of these things it seems to ruin it.

Not that long ago you wrote here that you were building something and that you would be releasing it soon, how is that coming along ?

Still plugging away. It's Sunday morning here and I don't feel sick any more, so that's a big plus! Woo hoo! Hopefully I can get a lot more done today than yesterday.

There are four delivery points. I'm hoping to make it to delivery point 1 in the next week and demo it here. Fair warning: it will be very lame, but each increment builds on the one before it and you have to start somewhere.

Just working by yourself really sucks, jacquesm. I can handle the work -- coding is coding. And I can do the biz stuff and the techie stuff. It's just the ups and downs and worrying about money and such is easier when you have two people to share in the load. As it is, I have a family that wants to know where the exit points are and hell! I haven't even got on the highway!

After reading this article today, I decided to start a video diary. Each day I'm going to explain to myself what my goals are and how I'm feeling. It's basically an advanced form of talking to myself, but hopefully it will help with the motivation.

Re: Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

#20

Post by jacquesm »

chime wrote: post #17
jacquesm wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Different strokes for different folks! What works for me may not work for others, that's for sure. I've always worked with lists and commitments, that's the way I structure my time. If it is on the list it will get done sooner or later. If I commit to a time it will probably get done by that time. If I commit to it publicly then it will get done by that time. When faced with a thousand choices and many of those are m…

Side note: I have a lot of respect for you and your work. My comment above is in no way an attempt to disrespect you or your work ethic. Reocities is an awesome project and how you managed to do it was even better. You're right about different strokes. I don't expect everyone to do what I do in the same way. However, I question the underlying premise behind having to do things you REALLY don't want to do. My comment…

Having too many choices is a mixed blessing.

I think that the number of choices we have in life are a measure of our welfare, if you are near starvation you have 0 choices, you need to get some water&food, and you need to get it now.

As you go up on the welfare ladder you get more and more options on how to spend your time and your choices seem to multiply.

To quote Joe Jackson ( http://lirama.net/song/226232 ) "They say that choice is freedom, I'm so free I'm stuck in therapy", too much choice is definitely not a good thing.

I try to find a good mix between the stuff that I like to do and the stuff that I have to do.

What I have to do is mostly driven by the need to stay afloat and to stay 'current', what I like to do is usually somewhere off on the fringe, learning languages just for the heck of it (human languages and programming languages) simply because it interests me.

I like to work on stuff that has a clear beginning, a middle and an end, open ended things are less of an attraction to me.

Probably because I can never 'check them off' one of my lists :)

As for the many eggs theory, I think you need at least 6, 3 that you currently depend on (less than 3 sources of income for a business and you're fragile, it's like a chair, it needs three legs to be stable), and 3 waiting in the wings as 'plan b' in case one of the other ones fails so you can get back to 3 legs relatively quickly.

If you try to do much more than that it is my experience that the quality will start to suffer.

Re. washing your dishes, that's a really nice thing of you, to invite me! I'm no longer traveling to the US like I used to, I think your immigration department & TSA have become too much of a nuisance to be dealt with. If I were I'd definitely take you up on it.

I've had to give them my fingerprints, a photograph and my boots on my last tour to the US and I ended up late for a meeting on the west coast because I had to go buy new shoes...

Since then I've avoided the US completely on my travels. (the boots were confiscated because they had steel toes and plates in them, they were supposed to be handed back to me on landing but they forgot to put them on the plane...)

Should you make it to this end of the world then please know that you're invited as well, I'm about 2 hours away from Amsterdam.

j.

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