Tell HN: Auto-Blackmail

I've got this dirty secret. I blackmail someone and it takes me places.

I call it auto-blackmail, and here is how it works:

Whenever I come up against something I really don't want to do but that I know I have to do I go out of my way to tell others that I'll do it, and when it will be done.

That way, if I don't do it I'll end up looking like a fool in front of those that matter to me.

I call it 'auto blackmail', the similarities are strong enough to warrant the title. I'm sure it is not original but it works wonders for me.

Blackmail is threatening to tell on someone if they don't do something you want them to do, Auto-Blackmail is a preemptive strike, you tell those whose respect you value that you will succeed, failure, after that is no longer an option.

This in response to some of the 'how to stay focused', 'how to avoid coders block' and other posts of a similar nature that I've come across recently.

I don't have a nicer way of doing it, when self discipline fails, blackmail invariably succeeds.

Join me and use the power of blackmail whenever you feel that urge to avoid a certain piece of work (you know, the one you really should be working on right now).

In fact, there is probably a nice little project embedded here somewhere, a place where you can publicly post your next item on your todo list that you'd really like to avoid and when you will have it done, after the timer expires your whole facebook and twitter posse will be automatically informed that you've dropped the ball :)

I often feel this way. I try not to tell anyone what I'm working on, because I usually don't finish it—the expectations drive me crazy.

Also, for me, talking about a project is another way to procrastinate actually doing it.

In the end it still boils down to self discipline, but a different quality.

You still have to do the work. You have to be someone that cares what others think of you, and you have to be willing to put a part of that reputation on the line.

I'm sure the example studies are real but I don't think they are of a similar shape.

What I'm talking about is stuff that you have to do either way, you're not going to be able to postpone it for ever. The activities listed in that study sound like they were optional to begin with.

So, the fact that you are going to have to do this stuff combined with damage to your reputation of being able to get stuff done is what drives it, not the fact that you've simply told someone.

I partially credit keeping going on my startup with having told many of my coworkers about it before I left. Well, more accurately I say: "If I hadn't run my big mouth, telling everyone I was doing a startup, and don't want a job..." Yeah. I had no choice but to keep going. Not always the best thing though. Choice is good.

> (you know, the one you really should be working on right now).

This is the problem really. Don't compel yourself to do anything you don't want to. Don't guilt yourself into thinking that you should be doing something else instead of what you really want to do. Stop doing this in the name of productivity, efficiency, ambition, or goals. Instead, focus your energy on making yourself realize why something must be done, if it needs to be done at all. If you can convince yourself that it needs to be done, then you will have no problem doing it and will in fact do it willingly. If you can't convince yourself why it needs to be done, then you should do something to make sure you don't have to do it.

E.g., writing a school paper for a class you don't much care for. That is something that happens to me because some of my required Masters classes are a bit too easy (in fact my undergrad courses in the same subjects were much more advanced). I tell myself that life is a learning experience and writing well is an art that I must continually practice to remain proficient, regardless of the subject matter or specific task at hand. Knowing that this one 10-page assignment is a small piece of the bigger jigsaw puzzle of my life as student makes me want to work on it. Not because I love the class but because I see how this particular assignment fits into the big plan I have previously made. I always try to stick with my big plans unless there is a true reason not to. Is a 10 page assignment a true reason not to stick with my Masters degree and my academic plans? No. Then it is something that will take me one step closer to my final goal. Who doesn't want to take one more step in the right direction?

I don't play tricks with my brain or try to excite myself by small goals or high-scores (try to get an A+ in a 10pg paper I wrote in 2hrs). I see a lot of advice in these motivational / GTD type posts that are mostly tricks and advice on lying to yourself. I don't set my clocks 10mins ahead. I try to understand why it must be so instead of fooling myself and hoping that a safety-net for my follies will somehow help me.

Why do I work on the really boring project at work that nobody else wants to help me on? Because I understand that this is something that helps with the bigger picture of my career. If it doesn't, then I will make sure I don't have to do it. I don't want to live a life avoiding things that must be done or playing tricks on myself just so I do things I don't want to do. If I sit back and truly don't want to do something, I make sure I don't have to do it.

This doesn't mean I look forward to doing the dishes. Wife and I both hate doing the dishes and we avoid using too many pots and pans while cooking. However, I do the dishes whenever I can because it makes the misses happy and that is my bigger goal. Doing the dishes gets me one step closer to marital bliss and who doesn't want that? Do I really want to claim "honey I will do the dishes" and do them reluctantly only because I claimed that publicly? Or do I do the dishes willingly because it makes my wife happy and thus me happy?