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What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

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Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#81

Post by JoeAltmaier »

logfromblammo wrote: post #74
impendia wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I never asked questions; never used any tutors or talked to a professor; I am a professor (albeit at a non-elite university). How do I persuade students such as yourself to ask questions, to use tutors, to show up to office hours, and to talk to me?

If a student is struggling and does not use the available resources for catching up with the rest of the class, it may be for any of several reasons: - Asking for help is a display of weakness, and that student has been conditioned to conceal his or her weaknesses. - The student has feelings of inferiority that lead him or her to assume that they do not deserve additional assistance. - The student has given his or he…

Another reason: the student grew up in a rural community, and has rarely dealt with anyone they don't know and aren't related to, so are congenitally incapable of approaching a professor unintroduced.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#82

Post by smeyer »

alexashka wrote: post #71

I think the article misses the point: the problem with poor people is they don't have money. I'd know, I grew up poor. That's the problem, and ONLY problem. 'We can do more to be supportive' - JUST GIVE THEM MONEY. Oh they don't have to pay tuition, that's great. Do they have to pay rent and eat? Do they need to buy textbooks and clothes? Give them money, end of story. All this talk of self-esteem issues - please. Ev…

At the top ivy league schools, they do in fact also pay for rent, food, and even clothes (Harvard has a fund to pay for winter coats for students on certain levels of financial aid.) Harvard also has a fund to pay for some school-sponsored social events (like formal dances) as well as certain types of travel. There is still a notable class difference and there are still issues of money around different types of activities and behaviors, but it's not like they just pay tuition and call it a day.

(I mentioned Harvard specifically a few times because I went there and am familiar, but I believe the situation is the same at a couple of other top ivy league schools.)

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#83

Post by mathattack »

vcxzxcv wrote: post #70
stegosaurus wrote: post #9

I attended an elite UK university having had a poor upbringing. This article reads painfully to me. I don't have the words to describe why, but I can try. The closest I can come is to say that this idea of inclusiveness is terminally broken. It's a sort of bandage over a huge chasm of differences. For a poor person to become wealthy requires them to discard their baggage. Change the accent, the clothes, the pop cultu…

Thanks for this post. I'm debating applying to a state University right now. Coming from a poor background (and still being poor) I find it hard to relate to a lot of my peers. You speak of "dropping baggage", and for me, this is next to impossible because of my poor dental health. As soon as I open my mouth people assume I must be some meth head. My mom has dementia and can barely take care of her self and my dad is…

Hang in there! I don't mean to sound trite, but if your personal situation allows you to go to college, do it. It will pay off in the end. I stress personal situation. You'll always be able to fix your teeth later - after college you will be able to get a good job with good health insurance. (& that can help fix a lot of things) I'm not sure about your personal situation with your parents - I can't moralize on that. Good luck - it's tough to deal with.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#84

Post by lxmorj »

vcxzxcv wrote: post #70
stegosaurus wrote: post #9

I attended an elite UK university having had a poor upbringing. This article reads painfully to me. I don't have the words to describe why, but I can try. The closest I can come is to say that this idea of inclusiveness is terminally broken. It's a sort of bandage over a huge chasm of differences. For a poor person to become wealthy requires them to discard their baggage. Change the accent, the clothes, the pop cultu…

Thanks for this post. I'm debating applying to a state University right now. Coming from a poor background (and still being poor) I find it hard to relate to a lot of my peers. You speak of "dropping baggage", and for me, this is next to impossible because of my poor dental health. As soon as I open my mouth people assume I must be some meth head. My mom has dementia and can barely take care of her self and my dad is…

Look into your prospective school's healthcare as some have dental that's reasonable.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#85

Post by mattmanser »

vcxzxcv wrote: post #70
stegosaurus wrote: post #9

I attended an elite UK university having had a poor upbringing. This article reads painfully to me. I don't have the words to describe why, but I can try. The closest I can come is to say that this idea of inclusiveness is terminally broken. It's a sort of bandage over a huge chasm of differences. For a poor person to become wealthy requires them to discard their baggage. Change the accent, the clothes, the pop cultu…

Thanks for this post. I'm debating applying to a state University right now. Coming from a poor background (and still being poor) I find it hard to relate to a lot of my peers. You speak of "dropping baggage", and for me, this is next to impossible because of my poor dental health. As soon as I open my mouth people assume I must be some meth head. My mom has dementia and can barely take care of her self and my dad is…

Leave your teeth to decay? Clean your fucking teeth.

Grow up and do something about it.

You are now in control of your destiny. You can program, so you can make money if you can figure out how to get jobs. Pretty much the whole world is crying for programmers, get over your social anxiety and meet people who will pay you.

Stop being a victim.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#86

Post by [deleted] »

impendia wrote: post #12
JoeAltmaier wrote: post #11

This resonated with me - a poor farm kid from Iowa going to Stanford. I had my student loan plus zilch. Other students were off to Hawaii for vacation. Me, I had to bum a place to stay over breaks when the dorms were closed. I never asked questions; never used any tutors or talked to a professor; never studied in groups. It was a lonely life.

> I never asked questions; never used any tutors or talked to a professor; I am a professor (albeit at a non-elite university). How do I persuade students such as yourself to ask questions, to use tutors, to show up to office hours, and to talk to me?

[deleted]

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#87

Post by yodsanklai »

stegosaurus wrote: post #9

I attended an elite UK university having had a poor upbringing. This article reads painfully to me. I don't have the words to describe why, but I can try. The closest I can come is to say that this idea of inclusiveness is terminally broken. It's a sort of bandage over a huge chasm of differences. For a poor person to become wealthy requires them to discard their baggage. Change the accent, the clothes, the pop cultu…

> I attended an elite UK university having had a poor upbringing. This article reads painfully to me. I don't have the words to describe why, but I can try.

It's difficult to understand why. If anything, one should feel great pride to be able to attend an elite school while coming from a less privileged family (even though, being smart because of your genes is basically as random as being born in a rich family, so there shouldn't be any pride or shame either way!!).

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#88

Post by ChuckMcM »

kelukelugames wrote: post #58
ChuckMcM wrote: post #31

I don't think this is limited to schools. All through life you will find that there are people with more, or fewer, resources than you have and interactions may be adversely affected by that. The example of going out to dinner and then catching a movie is a good one. In a mid to large sized metropolitan area that is an expenditure of $40 - $100 (depending) and that can represent anywhere from .1% to 10% of a person's…

My boss's boss's boss once tried to socialize with me by asking what kind of boat I owned.

perfect example!

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#89

Post by garbage_stain »

mattmanser wrote: post #85
vcxzxcv wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for this post. I'm debating applying to a state University right now. Coming from a poor background (and still being poor) I find it hard to relate to a lot of my peers. You speak of "dropping baggage", and for me, this is next to impossible because of my poor dental health. As soon as I open my mouth people assume I must be some meth head. My mom has dementia and can barely take care of her self and my dad is…

Leave your teeth to decay? Clean your fucking teeth. Grow up and do something about it. You are now in control of your destiny. You can program, so you can make money if you can figure out how to get jobs. Pretty much the whole world is crying for programmers, get over your social anxiety and meet people who will pay you. Stop being a victim.

Now here is some helpful and caring advice.

Sigh.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#90

Post by paltman »

I attended an Ivy (Penn). Most of my friends were far from wealthy. Many from what most in the US would consider poor backgrounds. It's hard for me to speak on their behalf here, but it's quite obvious seeing them now how radically their lives have changed.

Here is a recent story that was fairly typical in my experience : http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2423782-left-parentless-a...

It seems that there are those who pursue greatness and success and use their challenges and circumstances as motivation to do better and those that see themselves as handicapped and disadvantaged.

Are there pompous kids? Sure. But I believe that exists anywhere and quite frankly, I felt that those kids were the ones who were missing out. Missing out on relationships with people who were not caught up on the superficial, either because they couldn't afford to be, or didn't care.

Anyway, just my perspective, FWIW.

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