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What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

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Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#31
I don't think this is limited to schools. All through life you will find that there are people with more, or fewer, resources than you have and interactions may be adversely affected by that.

The example of going out to dinner and then catching a movie is a good one. In a mid to large sized metropolitan area that is an expenditure of $40 - $100 (depending) and that can represent anywhere from .1% to 10% of a person's take home pay. So people gravitate to socializing with folks who have the same sort of budget for recreational expenses.

And it can get even weirder when you're wildly different in available resources. Consider the following illustrative example

Bob is a very high net worth individual, he owns an interest in a Gulfstream jet. While folks are hanging out they hear about a restaurant in Santa Fe (over 1,000 miles away) that is really great. Bob thinks it would be a great place to go for dinner. So he invites folks to dinner, when they show up everyone gets on the plane and flys to Santa Fe and eats at this restaurant which has been reserved (entirely) for this dinner.

Bob is trying to be friendly and help everyone share the experience of a restaurant they were just talking about. Except that everyone on the plane that wasn't extremely wealthy felt really weird about the whole experience. (surreal might be better).

So its easy to be friends with Bob, he's a nice guy, but it is hard to "hang out" with Bob as his idea of a reasonable idea of what to do next, can sometimes collide with your idea of reality.

That goes all the way down to things like skiing (fun, but expensive to do for the day).

To avoid that you need communities of people with similar resource levels, and yes this means that things like the 1st generation outreach program mentioned in the article will collect all of the 'poor people' together, but it gives them a social structure to start from. And if they mix with the the 'not quite so poor' people they can start to move through the variations in strata. Once they graduate they are very likely to be at least part of the "middle" and their kids the "upper middle".

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#32
I am curious whether anybody else has experienced this in professional settings.

I make as much money as most of my peers at work, but fairly regularly I am made aware of the fact that my upbringing was less affluent than many of theirs. They have stories about exotic vacations they went on with their families, while my stories are about manual labor on farms. On some occasions somebody has made a crack at the expense of blue-collar workers, but I don't feel particularly far removed from that life.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#34
I attended Stanford business school on scholarship. I was brought up in a middle class household, not poor. I couldn't fit in with the rich kids, many of whom were sons/daughters of millionaire/billionaires, the bankers and the consultants. All the students were obsessed with networking and as a "lowly" engineer pursuing an MBA, my classmates never considered me worth getting to know. I tried but couldn't really forge any meaningful friendships.I felt like an outsider all the time. This was in sharp contrast to my experience in engineering school in India, where the only thing that mattered was how smart you are, irrespective of who your parents are.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#35
post #27

I attended an elite UK university having had a poor upbringing. This article reads painfully to me. I don't have the words to describe why, but I can try. The closest I can come is to say that this idea of inclusiveness is terminally broken. It's a sort of bandage over a huge chasm of differences. For a poor person to become wealthy requires them to discard their baggage. Change the accent, the clothes, the pop cultu…

Its hard to take the article very seriously from the title, but it does make for a slightly cringeworthy read. As someone from a very poor background (actual poor - starving in africa poor, not US overprivileged 'I can eat for free out of bins' poor, but this is all relative...) I can sympathise somewhat too. I agree with the point made here in this comment- personally, I never felt like I had the kind of disadvantag…

"I pass very well for an upper middle-class man thanks to a spiffing british accent I inherited from my mother"

Its amazing how a "upper crust" accent will play versus something something considered "low class". Its one of those hidden assumptions that adults make. I have a deep, loud voice that was tinged with a rez accent and quite a lot of slang.

Watch a kid react to Mater from Cars versus an adult. The story of the voice acting for that part worldwide is quite interesting.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#36
post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I too also grew up poor, but find myself in a position where I have a very nice job, and I also have a hard time articulating to other's how warped I feel about money/status/etc. The best I've ever found is John Cheese's Cracked articles on the topic which I felt were almost like he was writing from inside of my head. http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-stupidest-habits-you-devel... http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-st…

"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boot…

[deleted]

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#37
post #29

The most logistically frustrating part of the ordeal: "Dining halls at some schools, for example, close for spring break, though some students can’t afford to leave campus."

Even during the semester, they didn't serve on Sunday. Presumably because you were all out with friends, eating at a pub or whatever. I just didn't eat on Sunday night.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#38

This resonated with me - a poor farm kid from Iowa going to Stanford. I had my student loan plus zilch. Other students were off to Hawaii for vacation. Me, I had to bum a place to stay over breaks when the dorms were closed. I never asked questions; never used any tutors or talked to a professor; never studied in groups. It was a lonely life.

> I never asked questions; never used any tutors or talked to a professor; I am a professor (albeit at a non-elite university). How do I persuade students such as yourself to ask questions, to use tutors, to show up to office hours, and to talk to me?

When I was in college I didn't even know what that conversation would sound like. I knew that I was supposed to go to office hours and start a relationship with my professors, but I pictured it as me standing in their doorway, not knowing what to say.

Re: What is it like to be poor at an Ivy League school?

#39

I attended Stanford business school on scholarship. I was brought up in a middle class household, not poor. I couldn't fit in with the rich kids, many of whom were sons/daughters of millionaire/billionaires, the bankers and the consultants. All the students were obsessed with networking and as a "lowly" engineer pursuing an MBA, my classmates never considered me worth getting to know. I tried but couldn't really forg…

Want to hob nob with GSB students? Should have gone to Stanfurd for engineering.

"Hey you are a programmer? Want to make an app for me?"

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