If the interviewee found him attractive would this be an issue for her? I doubt it. Just say no and move on, don't do anything to aggravate the issue.
Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
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Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#62I will go out on my limb here. It was a mistake on his part. See if you are willing to let him go with a caution. I know everyone is crying for blood and it is justified. Going to HR will likely ruin his resume for life (possibly).
HR exists for addressing problems like this. You absolutely should talk to them. I don't think it will "ruin his life" but whatever action is taken (if any) is ultimately up to his bosses. This is unacceptable behavior and if no one ever says anything about it, there's no reason to think it won't continue.
After some thought, I agree HR should be involved to caution him. As for ruining his life, it feels like a stretch - but imagine, he is publicly outed (with this much attention, it's possible). People have their pitchforks out - so I know this viewpoint will be downvoted. But it is best if she brings this issue with HR and deal with it internally with the company.
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#63Just say NO.
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#64Unfortunately, I think the best way (safest) to handle this as someone new out of school without a network is to ignore it and move on to other potential opportunities. Most likely, this is an issue isolated to this one employee, who should have his position of responsibility in the hiring process stripped, written up/ demotion, whatever tools are available to the company to _strongly_ reprimand him. There is a chanc…
Ignoring the problem is how we got into this situation in the first place.
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#65I will go out on my limb here. It was a mistake on his part. See if you are willing to let him go with a caution. I know everyone is crying for blood and it is justified. Going to HR will likely ruin his resume for life (possibly).
No. Just no. I don't think one mistake like this should ruin someones career but it's pretty impossible for this to be a mistake. He even admits in his email that he shouldn't be doing this. If you are senior enough to interview to be interviewing people you should know how unacceptable it is to engage in that kind of sophomoric bullshit.
It's really nice to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the girl was just so perfect he could't help himself and it was a one time thing. I don't know but honestly you really need to consider the converse. What if this isn't a one time thing. What if this is the way he acts whenever he interviews a woman. This absolutely needs to go to the proper persons (eg HR, CEO/CTO since they might not have hr) who can handle the situation.
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#66Dating within the tech industry is tough, especially when most of the people you meet are also in tech, but you also don't want to contribute to the problem of creating an environment where women feel like they're constantly being evaluated not only for their skills but also as potential partners. As a guy, it's probably best to just put the idea out of your mind altogether unless specifically approached. Meeting rom…
> ...unless specifically approached. I don't even think that's a good idea. I don't live in the U.S. or in the western world for that matter but from my reading of all issues in the tech industry from HN it seems to me the best approach is to pretend your a eunuch at work or around your colleagues no matter the location.
Yeah, that's definitely a tricky subject without a clear cut answer.
My personal opinion though is that denying agency to a woman (i.e. her right to choose to ask someone out if she wants to) is just as bad, though. It's like saying that women aren't capable of making their own decisions about it.
I mean, the whole end goal of this thing is not to dehumanize everyone and turn us all into code-writing, celibate, emotionless Vulcans, but to create a welcoming environment where currently under-represented groups have the same opportunities and respect as everyone else.
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#67Earlier quoted context omitted.
Seriously ? All for asking her on a date ? I don't see any harassment or any kind of quid pro quo. Mistakes happen all the time.
I'll take the risk of being buried along with beenpoor, but I should point out that asking someone out once is not harassment. Harassment is asking them out repeatedly after being turned down (i.e. it is known to be unwelcome). Not making any excuses for what interviewer guy did at all, that was still pretty slimy.
So making sexual advances in a professional setting is A-OK, as long as you only do it once per person?
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#68I don't see the drama, but then again I'm a guy (40+). If he just waited a few weeks with that second mail, we could hardly fault him for being unprofessional could we? I don't believe she would have gotten then job with another interviewer (the "more experience" part sounds plausible). And if she was a really interesting candidate, another tech screen or phone interview would be natural. I'd tell any friend to say "…
>I don't believe she would have gotten then job with another interviewer (the "more experience" part sounds plausible).
please don't speculate, as she said if they were looking for "more experience" why would he interviewed her in the first place? He also admitted that her cv was interesting
>(If he's that creepy, he'd get her the job and hit on her then) hitting on a co-worker is much more complicated than hitting on someone outside the company. that's the point.
He is clearly abusing his position of power, it's not ethical and probably also against the company's policy.
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#69* Say no. * Forward copies of emails to the company's leadership/HR department. * Keep printed copies of the emails handy in case he decides to retaliate with lawyers. * Keep your own legal counsel on speed-dial. * Move on with your life. There's not much you can do from a legal standpoint, with regards to grievance/redress. Escalating the situation through contacting his boss/HR carries a risk, even though you have…
What’s wrong with just telling him it’s inappropriate and that the answer is no?
Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?
#70This sounds like feminist PR bullshit to me. The timing of it makes me suspicious that it has something to do with that annoying ex-googler chick... But what do I know, right?
EDIT: details added.