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Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

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Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#21
post #11
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real men do not abuse a position of power to pressure women into accepting a date.

Not trying to cause a stir, but where does it say he pressured her? I read it as "he asked me out on a date," not "he told me if I didn't go on a date with him he wouldn't hire me and he'd kill my firstborn." She had already not gotten the job. Not saying this is ok, but it doesn't sound like much pressure was applied.

Yes. I too feel the same.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#22
Wasn't there some recent ruling that indicated interns and the like are not protected from sexual harassment because they're not technically employees? I feel like a prospective interviewee would fall under that same umbrella, and hence a legal case would ultimately go nowhere. Not to mention that, as has previously been mentioned on HN, HR is designed to protect the company from you, not the other way around.

I'd bypass the legal system altogether (which increasingly seems designed to protect this kind of atrocious behavior) and go straight to the media with it. Public shaming unfortunately seems to be the only way to combat this.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#23
post #11
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real men do not abuse a position of power to pressure women into accepting a date.

Not trying to cause a stir, but where does it say he pressured her? I read it as "he asked me out on a date," not "he told me if I didn't go on a date with him he wouldn't hire me and he'd kill my firstborn." She had already not gotten the job. Not saying this is ok, but it doesn't sound like much pressure was applied.

It's implicit in the very fact of asking in that situation. Your response, and the neighboring one from ddoolin, is the equivalent of "I wasn't threatening her, I just always hold a knife in my hand like that."

The proper thing to do here if you really wanted to ask her out on a date is not to do it. There's plenty of other women out there you can meet in a more appropriate setting. There is no acceptable reason to turn a job interview into a date request.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#24
post #8
post #4

I see nothing wrong with what he did. She was not hired for objective reasons. The fact that he asked her out after is completely orthogonal. Are there any MEN left on HN?

Real men do not abuse a position of power to pressure women into accepting a date.

Given that she was already turned down for the job, I see this more as an absurd lack of professional propriety than an abuse of power. It would also be extremely inappropriate for a candidate to ask an interviewer out on a date.

Of course, if the job rejection is in any way related to the subsequent date-asking (or anything other than her alleged lack of experience), then the situation is different (and even more messed up).

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#25

That is so unprofessional I can't fathom it. Never work for a company that values professionalism so low.

The way interview went or asking someone you rejected for a job for a date ... or both taken together?

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#26
Since OP mentioned that the company in question is a startup which implies a fair chance that they not yet have a HR department or that even some of the founders took part in this sexist behavior, IMHO OP should not hesitate to call out names (only the company's) as it seems it is the only way to punish this behavior.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#27
Dating within the tech industry is tough, especially when most of the people you meet are also in tech, but you also don't want to contribute to the problem of creating an environment where women feel like they're constantly being evaluated not only for their skills but also as potential partners.

As a guy, it's probably best to just put the idea out of your mind altogether unless specifically approached. Meeting romantic partners at work is extremely common in other industries, but most of them don't have the same gender imbalance problems that we do in STEM fields. I think it probably sucks for everyone that dating in the tech industry is such a tricky thing, but I think that's probably just a sacrifice we're going to have to make until we've got a better culture and gender balance.

It's definitely not ok to take advantage of the power relationship between interviewer and interviewee in any case.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#28
post #5

* Say no. * Forward copies of emails to the company's leadership/HR department. * Keep printed copies of the emails handy in case he decides to retaliate with lawyers. * Keep your own legal counsel on speed-dial. * Move on with your life. There's not much you can do from a legal standpoint, with regards to grievance/redress. Escalating the situation through contacting his boss/HR carries a risk, even though you have…

Seriously ? All for asking her on a date ? I don't see any harassment or any kind of quid pro quo. Mistakes happen all the time.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#29

I will go out on my limb here. It was a mistake on his part. See if you are willing to let him go with a caution. I know everyone is crying for blood and it is justified. Going to HR will likely ruin his resume for life (possibly).

I really don't imagine that this will ruin him for life, but HR/CEO should be notified of his behavior in order to at the very least reprimand him.

I'm not saying he should be fired but professionalism is required at workplace and this is an abuse of power.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#30
post #13
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real men do not abuse a position of power to pressure women into accepting a date.

Your opening is a logical fallacy ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman ). Anyway, she was already told she wouldn't be hired there. The OP also doesn't mention that it was an exchange of favors (i.e. Go on a date with me and I'll get you this job).

A logical fallacy assumes a logical argument. I was using "real men" as a rhetorical device, echoing OP's use of the term "MAN."

Edit: these downvotes are fascinating. I'm amazed at how many people are apparently upset in the opposite direction from what I'd expect. Are you pissed off that it's inappropriate for an interviewer to ask an interviewee on a date? Are you just pissed off that it's being called out? Do you just disagree with the language being used to call it out? Do tell.

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