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Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

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Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#11

Post by borski »

mikeash wrote: post #8
RDeckard wrote: post #4

I see nothing wrong with what he did. She was not hired for objective reasons. The fact that he asked her out after is completely orthogonal. Are there any MEN left on HN?

Real men do not abuse a position of power to pressure women into accepting a date.

Not trying to cause a stir, but where does it say he pressured her? I read it as "he asked me out on a date," not "he told me if I didn't go on a date with him he wouldn't hire me and he'd kill my firstborn."

She had already not gotten the job. Not saying this is ok, but it doesn't sound like much pressure was applied.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#13

Post by ddoolin »

mikeash wrote: post #8
RDeckard wrote: post #4

I see nothing wrong with what he did. She was not hired for objective reasons. The fact that he asked her out after is completely orthogonal. Are there any MEN left on HN?

Real men do not abuse a position of power to pressure women into accepting a date.

Your opening is a logical fallacy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman).

Anyway, she was already told she wouldn't be hired there. The OP also doesn't mention that it was an exchange of favors (i.e. Go on a date with me and I'll get you this job).

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#15

Post by hoopism »

Regardless of whether it was done creepily or innocently it's not something I would do or tolerate.

Without any context I thought this seemed like an innocent scenario (guy is not a creep)... but it doesn't matter. It's inappropriate regardless.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#16

Post by ditonal »

You know, I'm all about being laid back and rejecting traditional corporate culture, because you can be serious without a suit. But you still need the "be serious" part, which somehow got lost between all the ping pong tables and beer on tap. I actually think a big chunk of the industry encourages unprofessionalism, because professionals do really obnoxious things like negotiate compensation. I really hope that the tech scene can hold on to the fun parts of what makes it special, while getting rid of terrible things like this. But, in my opinion, culture and professionalism starts at the top, even if it's easy to go after the low-status, low-political-power programmers at the bottom. The typical company will give you sexual harassment training and fire people who do inappropriate things, but the same companies encourage their 20-somethings to get wasted at Friday happy hours and have few to no women on their board of directors or executive management positions, and that culture of men-in-charge inevitably trickles down.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#17

Post by codeduck »

slantedview wrote: post #9
codeduck wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I doubt this is a company-wide problem. I think this is an employee with a serious inability to appreciate boundaries, and he should be removed from his position of responsibility.

Yet somehow this guy wormed his way into interviewing her. Someone let that happen, and someone gave this guy interviewing responsibilities.

Small company, he's a programmer - primary interviewer is busy (something came up) - asks another technical person to cover for him. Happens all the time in startups / small companies.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#19

Post by Archio »

What the fuck? How does this shit happen? How on earth does someone, male or female, get into such a state that they think it is appropriate to do something like this in a professional setting?

Can someone explain to me how this works? I'm male in a male-dominated industry, and of course I don't give a damn what people look like and treat everyone with respect. The problem is, I don't believe a single one of my male friends (or female friends) would be capable of doing something like this.

Where the hell do these people come from, and how can this be stopped? I hate it when shit like this happens because I worry people will associate this behavior with me.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#20

Post by MollyR »

ihsw wrote: post #5

* Say no. * Forward copies of emails to the company's leadership/HR department. * Keep printed copies of the emails handy in case he decides to retaliate with lawyers. * Keep your own legal counsel on speed-dial. * Move on with your life. There's not much you can do from a legal standpoint, with regards to grievance/redress. Escalating the situation through contacting his boss/HR carries a risk, even though you have…

This is the best advice I've seen. Also I'd like to add,if you can don't escalate to a lawsuit prematurely. A lot of companies avoid hiring a person who files lawsuits against corporations. Its unfair, but its how the real world works. HR exists to protect the company not its people.

I know I mention this a lot on HN, but also read Corporate Confidential to understand how American Corporations and HR really works.

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