Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life • Hacker News Board

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#151

Post by tomp » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:24 PM UTC

near wrote: post #44

The world is replete with examples of why you should never use your real name with your online identity in any way (although in this case, the guy's employer found out over a photograph; which is even more troubling.) If there's anyone worse than Adria in this story, it's both Hank's and Adria's former employers. You don't destroy a person's life over a comment or a blackmail threat. But as they say, if corporations…

> "Not too bad, he's a white male. I'm a black Jewish female."

This makes her racist and sexist at the same time.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#152

Post by dragon88 » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:25 PM UTC

Basically, someone tweeted a joke about one well-known NHL player banging the wife of his team mate. It appeared on the Twitter ticker on the bottom of a TSN broadcast, whose filters didn't catch it. Of course, someone else took a pic of it, posted it online and from there, even more people saw it. Now both the NHL players are suing TSN AND they want to go after the original tweeter. Who definitely had no clue his/her tweet would end up on national TV.

In both cases, a media outlet shared the original tweet to their massive audiences. Where these tweets would have faded into obscurity, instead they were exposed to the sensibilities of a much larger audience.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#153

Post by obitoo » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:25 PM UTC

interpol_p wrote: post #127

bobcostas55 wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is threatening about that joke?

That's exactly it. We find it so hard to understand how that joke is threatening. It's almost impossible to imagine. It just sounds like a dumb joke. But look at how Adria describes her feelings in the article: “Have you ever had an altercation at school and you could feel the hairs rise up on your back?” she asked me. “You felt fear?” I asked. “Danger,” she said. “Clearly my body was telling me, ‘You are unsafe.’” I…

Rubbish. If someone feels some way about something I say when I never intended any harm to them by it then its entirely their problem. Her comparison with the schoolyard bully is moot, because there presumably would have been intent towards her in that case.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#154

Post by lumpypua » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:25 PM UTC

Jedd wrote: post #34

One of the saddest stories in tech in the past few years. Everyone lost. Nothing was gained. As a white male I was implicitly guilty, but wasn't sure how to stop being so. The sock / penis joke (broadcast to 9000+ people) was hard to get past, given the 1/9000th sized unintentional audience of the repo / dongle joke. Neither was especially funny, and it's hard to remember a time in my distant past that I may have fou…

> As a white male I was implicitly guilty, but wasn't sure how to stop being so.

Is this a joke?

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#155

Post by Dewie » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:26 PM UTC

TuringTest wrote: post #136

near wrote: post #44

The world is replete with examples of why you should never use your real name with your online identity in any way (although in this case, the guy's employer found out over a photograph; which is even more troubling.) If there's anyone worse than Adria in this story, it's both Hank's and Adria's former employers. You don't destroy a person's life over a comment or a blackmail threat. But as they say, if corporations…

> And, "if I had kids, I wouldn't tell jokes"? Seriously? This. Young netizens need to learn the meaning of "proportionate response". There were two adequate courses of action given the offence: - Confront the guys, and shame them face to face for their behavior. - If the goal was to change such misogynistic behavior of men at that kind of events (which is a reasonable and even courageous thing to do), the proper act…

> If the goal was to change such misogynistic behavior of men

Making a sexual innuendo about dicks or whatever isn't misogyny. Please, tell me how talking about dicks is an exhibit of contempt for women. The "joke" doesn't even have to do with women.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#156

Post by KhalilK » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:27 PM UTC

interpol_p wrote: post #57

[deleted] wrote: post #9

[deleted]

I initially had a similar reaction but then forced myself to take a step back. I think I can sympathise with Adria regarding her initial reaction. She's a minority surrounded by men who are happy to make these sorts of jokes within earshot. It sounds harmless to us, but I can't even imagine what it's like to have been at PyCon as a black Jewish woman. It must be very difficult to attend such a conference and then hea…

I can't even imagine what it's like to have been at PyCon as a black Jewish woman

Okay, being a female involved in what seems to be a male-dominated event might be a bit uncomfortable but how does being a black jewish relate?

More precisely what does being Jewish have to do with anything?!

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#157

Post by byuu » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:27 PM UTC

interpol_p wrote: post #127

bobcostas55 wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is threatening about that joke?

That's exactly it. We find it so hard to understand how that joke is threatening. It's almost impossible to imagine. It just sounds like a dumb joke. But look at how Adria describes her feelings in the article: “Have you ever had an altercation at school and you could feel the hairs rise up on your back?” she asked me. “You felt fear?” I asked. “Danger,” she said. “Clearly my body was telling me, ‘You are unsafe.’” I…

You're right that I can never directly relate to being a female. All I can do is think about things logically.

If she truly had this kind of response to an innocuous joke, I think that says more about her own insecurities than about the behavior of Hank. Feeling danger in response to a bad joke in a crowded room is not a reasonable response to have. It's grossly over-proportionate.

How far should we go to cater toward the irrationalities of others?

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#158

Post by CmonDev » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:27 PM UTC

interpol_p wrote: post #127

bobcostas55 wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is threatening about that joke?

That's exactly it. We find it so hard to understand how that joke is threatening. It's almost impossible to imagine. It just sounds like a dumb joke. But look at how Adria describes her feelings in the article: “Have you ever had an altercation at school and you could feel the hairs rise up on your back?” she asked me. “You felt fear?” I asked. “Danger,” she said. “Clearly my body was telling me, ‘You are unsafe.’” I…

> But we are oblivious to it, we can't even imagine how it feels.

Open AND closed spaces should be forbidden due to agora- and claustrophobia. The problem is with surrounding, not the sufferers, right?

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#159

Post by celticninja » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:28 PM UTC

edw519 wrote: post #148

near wrote: post #44

The world is replete with examples of why you should never use your real name with your online identity in any way (although in this case, the guy's employer found out over a photograph; which is even more troubling.) If there's anyone worse than Adria in this story, it's both Hank's and Adria's former employers. You don't destroy a person's life over a comment or a blackmail threat. But as they say, if corporations…

why you should never use your real name with your online identity in any way I believe exactly the opposite. People say horrible things hiding behind anonymity. Those of us who freely identify ourselves actually attempt (albeit sometimes feebly) to talk to others as if we were in person. If we just treated each other on-line like we did in person, most of this shit would never happen. - Proud self-identified member o…

except that only works if everyone plays by the same rules. they dont so it doesnt apply.

If you get into an argument with someone, they can read through your history to determine eho you are, where you work, what your family life is like etc and then use this against you regardless of whether what you did was wrong or not. So whilst I agree in principle in reality it is unworkable.

Re: Jon Ronson: How a Tweet Can Ruin Your Life

#160

Post by StavrosK » Thu, Mar 05, 2015, 1:30 PM UTC

mercurial wrote: post #131

interpol_p wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think it's a lack of empathy. It feels like anger at a system that caters to men in a field she very much enjoys and wants to be included in. Unfortunately Hank happens to be a fairly good guy who is defended by this system and oblivious to it. He's an unintended casualty of her anger at something bigger. I had many of the same reactions as you when I read her words. But I've been trying very hard to imagine…

> I don't agree with Adria's public tweet, and Hank got way more than he deserved (as did Adria) over it. But I can totally see how she could have been driven to do it, and I can even see how she would feel now — after all she's gone through — that she should not have to apologise for it. She used her status and influence in an irresponsible way, and she consistently avoids any responsibility into what happens, while…

> I do think she needs to behave like an adult and realize that she has a responsibility in what happened.

Presumably you mean the tweet, not her childhood abuse, just for people who might misinterpret the somewhat ambiguous reference.