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Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

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Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#61

Post by daveungerer »

anewkid wrote: post #4
DanielStraight wrote: post #2

You're 18... give it time.

I think "give it time" is good advice if you have a project which is not very successful now but is on the ground running and is growing quickly, but I can't think of anything I'm doing that falls into that category.

He's not talking about your projects. Give yourself time and stop being so hard on yourself.

A lot of your apparent failures will seem completely meaningless in the future. I would count doing poorly in match/science contests under those, as well as the blog. Are those things really important in the long run?

And some of your other failures will be very important in the years to come. You've already learnt how badly things can blow up if you don't formalise your business arrangements in writing, for example.

It's sounds cliche, but set some concrete goals for where you want to be 5 to 10 years from now and focus on the things that will get you there. Strip out the rest, but keep the things you are passionate about even if they don't have much practical value.

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#62

Post by jacoblyles »

anewkid wrote: post #6
numair wrote: post #5

Dude, you're 18. The more important question is, are you carrying out meaningful social experiences with people your age? Are you making really great friends who have nothing to do with your career? Are you engaging in dramatic, possibly-hopeless romantic endeavors with cute 18 year old girls (or boys!) that you'll enjoy thinking about when you're 60? You can't buy back your youth, kiddo.

I don't get why, but it seems that few people here are interested in any of the same things I am. It's not like my interests are narrow; indeed, people criticize me for being too much of a dabbler (I am interested in math, physics, chemistry, biology, economics, politics, history, computers, and a whole bunch of other stuff). People just tend to talk about sports and dating and parties and clubs and stuff. Why do so…

You sound like another one of those ever-so-charming nerds that only wants to talk about the latest academic papers at parties. Why don't you take this time to learn how to relate to other people? I wish I did when I was 18, instead of now at 26. It will make you happier and more successful in the long run.

Also, you come across as a bit of a whiner.

Work on your social intelligence. Disowning your peers in favor of books (what a timeless stereotype!) is only going to leave you emotionally crippled later on.

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#63

Post by mcantor »

anewkid wrote: post #58
mechanical_fish wrote: post #49

I see that people have already told you that it's fine, you're 18, everybody is a dabbler at 18, and those who aren't will have a midlife crisis where they wake up one day and wish they were you. This is all true, as far as it goes, but I needn't say it again. Let's try some coaching instead. Vince Lombardi mode, engage ! Stop trying to look smart. Being smart is wonderful as a source of personal pleasure, and is als…

"Stop trying to look smart." Look smart to who? I studiously avoid mentioning any of this to anyone at my school for fear of seeming arrogant. "It has the intellectual content of a whiffle ball, and the only reason to do it is to collect money, generally from the gullible or the corrupt." Yup. I did these things entirely for the purpose of making money and not for the intellectual challenges, because money is useful…

Computers: Have you finished SICP, learned operating systems and algorithms?"

I haven't written my own OS or programming language if that's what you mean, but I find solving problems that have already been solved a zillion times better by thousands of other people working together over decades to be distasteful; what's the point?

---

Reinventing the wheel won't get you a better car, but you'll understand the hell out of the wheel.

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#64

Post by kalid »

julsonl wrote: post #51
bhseo wrote: post #46

> Why do so many people talk about youth as some sort of idyllic time in one's life? Because youth is wasted on the young. It's a good thing that you've tried all that, even those left unfinished. The next step is to apply the Pareto principle, and stop doing a bunch of things. Do the easiest thing with the most benefit. Do what makes you happy. Do more things outside the academic and business areas. Dabbling isn't a…

I love tip number 6. I get that overwhelming sense of guilt for not being able to finish a book.

I read a sobering fact somewhere -- we'll only be able to read about 1000 books in our lifetime (50 years, 20 books a year or nearly 2 a month). Maybe 2000 or 3000 if you're a voracious reader.

Given that, it doesn't make sense to waste time with a bad book when it's taking the place of a better one. This helped me with that same guilt.

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#65

Post by anewkid »

jacoblyles wrote: post #62
anewkid wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't get why, but it seems that few people here are interested in any of the same things I am. It's not like my interests are narrow; indeed, people criticize me for being too much of a dabbler (I am interested in math, physics, chemistry, biology, economics, politics, history, computers, and a whole bunch of other stuff). People just tend to talk about sports and dating and parties and clubs and stuff. Why do so…

You sound like another one of those ever-so-charming nerds that only wants to talk about the latest academic papers at parties. Why don't you take this time to learn how to relate to other people? I wish I did when I was 18, instead of now at 26. It will make you happier and more successful in the long run. Also, you come across as a bit of a whiner. Work on your social intelligence. Disowning your peers in favor of…

I get along with other people (I'm not a social outcast or anything), I just don't do very much with most of them because we're not interested in the same things. Is that wrong? Should I feel terribly guilty about it? If so, why shouldn't they also feel terribly guilty for not being interested in the same things I am?

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#66

Post by btilly »

Are you doing something wrong? Probably you are. But that is to be expected since there are so many ways to mess up. The question is whether you're learning from your mistakes.

Personally I would ask why people keep bailing on you. You had 2 professors bail on letting you complete a paper you started on. You had co-founders bail and screw you over. The people working with you on the web application didn't continue working with you. (The point being that they didn't just abandon the application, they also didn't invite you to be part of the next thing they did.)

This is a bad pattern because generally we can't succeed unless we can get other people to succeed with us. For example you're unlikely to start a successful startup without the close cooperation of a cofounder. I'm sure that circumstances are different in each case, but as the poster says, "The only commonality in all your failed relationships is you."

This strikes me as a pattern that is repeating too much for coincidence. So you need to ask why. It may be that you'll get an answer that you can't easily solve. For instance people may find you not fun to be around. If that's the case then you're unlikely to be able to change your personality. In which case you need to find someone who can get along with you as you are. However it may be something like, "you've always got 50 other projects going on, and keep on dropping the ball" in which case you can fix it. (Do fewer things at once.)

Whatever you find, be aware that you are almost certainly doing SEVERAL things consistently wrong. So once you've identified one thing to improve, don't stop there.

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#67

Post by mechanical_fish »

mcantor wrote: post #63
anewkid wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Stop trying to look smart." Look smart to who? I studiously avoid mentioning any of this to anyone at my school for fear of seeming arrogant. "It has the intellectual content of a whiffle ball, and the only reason to do it is to collect money, generally from the gullible or the corrupt." Yup. I did these things entirely for the purpose of making money and not for the intellectual challenges, because money is useful…

Computers: Have you finished SICP, learned operating systems and algorithms?" I haven't written my own OS or programming language if that's what you mean, but I find solving problems that have already been solved a zillion times better by thousands of other people working together over decades to be distasteful; what's the point? --- Reinventing the wheel won't get you a better car, but you'll understand the hell out…

It is also theoretically possible that tinkering with wheels is pleasant. Though perhaps it's not for everyone.

It is even possible -- bear with me here -- that while rebuilding the wheel in your own way you will discover something new and interesting. Even in an ancient and venerable field like computer science, which has been picked over by dozens, perhaps even a hundred world-class minds for as long as six decades. [1]

---

[1] One of the many charms of growing older is that you come to understand things, like why older people were always rolling their eyes at you when you were seventeen. I remember back when I was young, thinking about the futuristic year 2000. "My god," I would think, "I will probably live to see the year 2000! Although I'll be 29 then, so I'll be much older."

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#68

Post by timr »

anewkid wrote: post #65
jacoblyles wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You sound like another one of those ever-so-charming nerds that only wants to talk about the latest academic papers at parties. Why don't you take this time to learn how to relate to other people? I wish I did when I was 18, instead of now at 26. It will make you happier and more successful in the long run. Also, you come across as a bit of a whiner. Work on your social intelligence. Disowning your peers in favor of…

I get along with other people (I'm not a social outcast or anything), I just don't do very much with most of them because we're not interested in the same things. Is that wrong? Should I feel terribly guilty about it? If so, why shouldn't they also feel terribly guilty for not being interested in the same things I am?

Interested is a choice. Once you decide that you're going to make an effort to know more about something or someone, it becomes much easier to find common ground -- and at your stage in the game, you need to find as much common ground as you can. The ability to befriend people of many different backgrounds is a strength that will reward you in the future.

Also, not for nothing, but your stories (repeated abandonment by professors, peers, etc.) strongly suggest to me that you're missing important social cues. The research-paper anecdotes, in particular, tell me that you're doing something wrong. No professional academic or journal would take a paper submitted by a high-school student seriously without lots of personal mentoring. If you did have a faculty mentor, they wouldn't simply abandon you without cause. You're missing something important.

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#69

Post by weaksauce »

lionhearted wrote: post #24
anewkid wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't get why, but it seems that few people here are interested in any of the same things I am. It's not like my interests are narrow; indeed, people criticize me for being too much of a dabbler (I am interested in math, physics, chemistry, biology, economics, politics, history, computers, and a whole bunch of other stuff). People just tend to talk about sports and dating and parties and clubs and stuff. Why do so…

> Why do so many people talk about youth as some sort of idyllic time in one's life? If you look into how memory works, negative details fade and positive memories remain. I keep pretty extensive journals, and it's absolutely staggering how much less pleasant my earlier life was than I remember it. Also, most people accidentally wind up in a secure, relatively unchallenging position early in life, and never get out o…

Life is a balance. I agree with your point that if you are looking to run a company or multiple companies you will live a challenging and rewarding life. But to be successful you will need to foster relationships.

You should not shut out people just because they talk about sports, cars, or whatever when they first meet you. Everyone has something to teach you. Even when you are the smartest kid in the room you can always learn something from someone. Your challenge is to get past the bullshit smalltalk and get to the meat of conversation that you both find mutual interest in.

Re: Ask HN: I've tried lots of things but haven't finished any.

#70

Post by startingup »

When I was in college, I wanted it all - wanted to prove theorems, found companies, join politics and so on. As I got older, I realized that just getting deeply focused on one thing gives you all manner of creative opportunities. Pick one area, and get in deeper and deeper - that would be my advice.
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