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From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

benjamincburns.com

181–190 of 234 posts

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#181
post #84
post #62

Such instances always make me wonder if it's worth putting so much effort in chasing dreams, when there are chances of I dying anyday, just like that. Nothing else will matter.

These instances are exactly why it is worth chasing your dreams. We are all going to die, the issue is only _when_. Don't you want to have spent your time doing something meaningful to you?

This is of course under the assumption that what you will do (in this case work) has the capability of bringing meaning to yourself.

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#182

I'm sad for Steven and for all the other software engineers who tell similar stories. I don't have math or numbers on this- does anyone?- but I can tell from personal experience that just about every time some software engineer my age becomes mortally ill, it's brain cancer. There is something unstudied about what we do that causes problems. Personally, I had my biggest scare a couple years ago while I was working on…

Downvoted to -3 for suggesting that software engineering can cause brain cancer?

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#183
I worked with Steven. When he was an intern I was responsible for reviewing his code. He was not as experienced as me, but he was smarter than me. I feel lucky to have worked with him, I learned a lot from him and I like to believe he learned a lot from me. Writing code, hacking wasn't just a hobby for him, it was part of his identity. The same as it is for me.

I'm not sure what to make of this. I learned of it a few days ago.

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/stress "Evidence from experimental studies does suggest that psychological stress can affect a tumor’s ability to grow and spread. For example, some studies have shown that when mice bearing human tumors were kept confined or isolated from other mice—conditions that increase stress—their tumors were more likely to grow and spread (metastasize). "

From that very same link: "Although stress can cause a number of physical health problems, the evidence that it can cause cancer is weak." But they do make some statements that seem to support the idea as well.

I think it's more along the lines of "stress isn't proven to cause cancer, but if you have cancer then it may cause it to regress".

Also, given that stress significant suppresses the immune system, and that the immune system is important for protecting against cancer growth, I think it is highly unlikely that stress wouldn't affect cancer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_immunology

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#185

I'm sad for Steven and for all the other software engineers who tell similar stories. I don't have math or numbers on this- does anyone?- but I can tell from personal experience that just about every time some software engineer my age becomes mortally ill, it's brain cancer. There is something unstudied about what we do that causes problems. Personally, I had my biggest scare a couple years ago while I was working on…

I think of it this way: If your job was physical, lifting boxes say, and you overdid it you would be sore the next day. It would be clear and physically noticeable. If your job is to sit, think and read and you overdo it, what happens then? How do you know?

I don't believe software engineering causes brain cancer, but it can hurt you mentally if you work too hard.

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#186

I'm having issues donating through the givealittle.co.nz service... My VISA gets rejected. Does anybody know if it's possible to donate via PayPal?

Ask your issuing bank to stop rejecting the transaction. They probably think someone stole your card.

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The managerial ineptitude of limiting doctor supply so they are overworked is even more medical system idiocy.

Not a direct response to what you said, but since this is a common discussion on HN, I just want to get some facts straight pre-emptively: 1) The AMA has nothing to do with limiting the supply of doctors in the US 2) The AAMC (not the AMA) formerly limited the number of medical students per-year in the US, but they stopped this practice sometime around 2004 with the stated goal of increasing the number of medical sch…

What are the expenses involved in a med student's residency? From the outside it looks like they do a full doctor's work, but are only paid 40k a year.

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#188
post #41

I am so sorry to hear this and also so glad you posted it here, Ben. Thank you. We all get so busy in our daily details, it's nice to be reminded what's really important. Just some quick, well intentioned feedback from someone who has lost almost every important loved one... Please don't be angry. That may seem like a natural response, but it is wasted output, serving as input into no productive process. Life is not…

Thanks so much for this. For what it's worth, I'm not an angry person. I recognize how useless and distracting anger is. I owe that mostly to my ability to see solutions where other people see problems. However when there are no solutions to be found, and the problem is this large, I can't help but experience this sort of frustration. That said, the experience of writing this up and witnessing how this story resonate…

I've been here before and felt the anger, then felt how it was really utter sadness, which would lead to lots of crying, which helped. The crying let me see what was important.

Now I know to let crying take place when it is at the door. I don't know how close this is to your situation. Two cents if you want them.

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#189

I'm sad for Steven and for all the other software engineers who tell similar stories. I don't have math or numbers on this- does anyone?- but I can tell from personal experience that just about every time some software engineer my age becomes mortally ill, it's brain cancer. There is something unstudied about what we do that causes problems. Personally, I had my biggest scare a couple years ago while I was working on…

Downvoted to -3 for suggesting that software engineering can cause brain cancer?

Software engineering is a new field, but mathematics isn't, and both require intense bouts of thinking. Is there any study that suggests that mathematicians have a higher cancer rate? or for that matter, anyone that thinks all day?

Re: From hacker to hospice in seven weeks

#190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

First, I'd like to say thank you for writing this. I'd also like to add a little for others who may be in a similar situation. Just to set the background, I'm in my mid-40's, was a responsible adult, and had a house and family, and worked as a programmer for 15 years. I was fairly typical as a programmer -- a bit overfocused, had an excellent memory, strong reading skills, etc... I wouldn't say I was a great programm…

I'm not trying to do that "diagnose you over the Internet" thing, but did any of your doctors ever mention or look into autonomic nervous system issues? Reason I ask is that what you describe is somewhat similar to the kind of cognitive impairment ("brain fog") and fatigue I experience with dysautonomia. Although it sounds like your symptoms are much more extreme, they're not inconsistent with what I've seen other pa…

This is incredibly frightening, as I had mono when I was 26, and have never felt as "sharp" afterwards...just been telling myself all in my head, or a part of getting older
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