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The Roots of Midlife Crisis

theatlantic.com

61–64 of 64 posts

Re: The Roots of Midlife Crisis

#61
post #2

Basically "midlife crisis" is a way for people who are married with families to put down anyone having more fun or experiencing more freedom than them.

I actually sometimes feel bad for people who for whatever reason don't end up having children. It may seem like the rational choice in the beginning but I wouldn't underestimate the long term upside.

I feel bad for single parents. And couples with kids born unhealthy. Or good parents with kids gone bad. In the end of the day life can be a lottery.

Re: The Roots of Midlife Crisis

#63
post #57

A midlife crisis is simply when all your 'someday' bills are due. Someday I'll go back to school and get my masters, someday I will move to X place I'd prefer to live at, someday I will visit my old friends or relative, someday I will take the time to spend with my kids. All the things you promise yourself to get through the workday. Then in the span of about 5 years, those options all close at once. Too old to meani…

How is that all in a span of 5 years? Life is an ongoing series of psychological crises.

> Life is an ongoing series of psychological crises.

Exactly. Commonly we tell ourselves things to get through them. "I have to work late and miss johnny's soccer game; but someday I'll leave this crappy job and do better."

> How is that all in a span of 5 years?

In your late 40s, your children are probably approaching independence while your parents are getting hit by senescence. Your career has peaked and meaningful progress in another field is unlikely. Obviously not everyone is the same, but it's statistically common for things to happen along a certain schedule.

Experiencing a mid-life crisis is realizing two things simultaneously:

1. Large parts of your life/identity are over or changed permanently.

2. Loss of the ability to use the 'someday I'll do this right' as a tool to get through the day.

A large psychological crisis combined with a removal of your normal method of coping.

Re: The Roots of Midlife Crisis

#64
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

they certainly to not increase one's closeness to the truth that is reality I have to admit, I'm impressed you have this level of confidence in such a fantastically deep and generalized assumption. Even more interesting is how you rationalize your assumption by stating that those who have derived truth about reality from spirituality or religion are just feeling it to be true. I'd at least appreciate your vastly supe…

You attack my surety but the passive-aggressive tone of your comment gives me good reason to suspect that you are also quite sure of your stance. I would also wager you would be less likely to change your position when offered new and compelling evidence than I, but that is neither here nor there. Reality is just that: reality. It's not one's perception of reality, it's what is. Reality is also consistent, within it'…

That is because there is no one right answer for these things. They are non-deterministic

Could it possibly be that they only appear non-deterministic because you don't have all the knowledge to make that judgment? You yourself have admitted that science provides very little insight on these topics. Imagine everyone was looking at a massive sheet of connect-the-dots, but each of us (in our limited knowledge and capacity) could only perceive a unique subset of the dots on the sheet. We most certainly would connect the dots and arrive at unique pictures, some more similar than others. Science is just one of many systems for connecting those dots.

So things would certainly appear relative because of the variance in pictures, but that fails to acknowledge that there's still a right answer. There's still a big picture for the one who can perceive all the dots (and know) everything.

There is no reason to claim that something is non-deterministic simply because of ignorance or lack of understanding. So yes, I'm actually quite sure of my stance, which is that I'm aware of mine (and others) vast ignorance in many categories of knowledge, and consequently recognize that is what prevents us from having any totality of truth. You, on the other hand, can somehow write off entire domains/systems of potential knowledge with a simple assumptive wave of the hand. As I said, quite an impressive feat, I wish I had your god-like omniscience to be able to do that.

Science alone is clearly the single way to arrive at knowledge, and you are its prophet.

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