I want so badly to leave college.
It's very difficult to stomach the $20k it's costing my parents. I'm not having fun. I'm not making many connections. I'm not learning much in the classroom at all. I feel unchallenged, I feel bored, but the worst of it is I know I could be working harder somewhere else, and learning more in the process.
I should have had the foresight to know the interest I had in highschool for programming was not going to be shared by all of my classmates. I should have taken a year off and grown a bit. I should have tried to take a chance and get an apprenticeship for some startup and see where that took me first. But really, I (like many HN readers, I'm sure) come from a conservative upper middle class town. College for the most part WASN'T a decision. It was a step. And I wish I had the sense to realize that it didn't have to be.
I WANT to be working my ass off. I'm 20 years old. If I'm not working as hard as I can now, what will I really be able to produce at the age of 40? I have one youth. I look around at everyone and their pacifiying drug use. And truly, I was looking forward to partying coming into college, but I grew bored of it in a single semester. It wasn't any different than highschool, just drinking and smoking with kids I barely know and didn't really care for. Reminds me of the underlying feeling in the Great Gatsby; you can be lonely together at many of these parties. I want to be like Nick at the end of it, I want to damn it all to hell, and go move far away to focus on myself and my career.
I'm only in my third semester and I consider it a mistake. I can't imagine it getting much better, I've taken most all of my CS classes and now I'll just be taking random classes completely unrelated to my major to get a piece of paper. I'm discontent with the slow flow of learning that college creates. I feel constrained, and that bugs the hell out of me.