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Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

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Re: Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

#21

Post by artofstart »

japhyr wrote: post #17
artofstart wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, I met a couple of guys from the pick up community. But I had to travel to meet them and they where not very dedicated or experienced. They where impressed with my skills as I was way better in attracting girls then them. And it was nice for me to have company. But all in all it was not enough to build a friendship. They where much younger then me, we had no mutual interests apart from girls and they where not re…

I hope that you can start to see women as people with whom you can form meaningful relationships, rather than seeing them as "girls" that you need to "pick up".

Of the things I wrote, what makes you think I do not form meaningful relationships?

Re: Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

#22

Post by japhyr »

artofstart wrote: post #21
japhyr wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hope that you can start to see women as people with whom you can form meaningful relationships, rather than seeing them as "girls" that you need to "pick up".

Of the things I wrote, what makes you think I do not form meaningful relationships?

The "pick up" mindset implies a number of things about the kinds of relationships "pick up artists" have with women:

- Calling them "girls" implies they are young and not really in the adult world, and not on an equal level with "men".

- The phrase "pick up" implies that women are objects, to be "picked up", not to be viewed as equals.

- The whole pick up mindset turns dating into a game that men are out to win, rather than it being about finding someone you can build a relationship with.

- The word "dedicated" in this context implies a disturbing commitment to this approach to dealing with women.

I'm responding because my comment was sincere. I hope that people who get into the pick up mindset can recognize the shallowness of that approach, and move on to forming more respectful and lasting relationships with women.

Re: Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

#23

Post by artofstart »

japhyr wrote: post #22
artofstart wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Of the things I wrote, what makes you think I do not form meaningful relationships?

The "pick up" mindset implies a number of things about the kinds of relationships "pick up artists" have with women: - Calling them "girls" implies they are young and not really in the adult world, and not on an equal level with "men". - The phrase "pick up" implies that women are objects, to be "picked up", not to be viewed as equals. - The whole pick up mindset turns dating into a game that men are out to win, rath…

Neither did I use the term "pick up" in relation to what I do, nor did I imply seeing women as objects. Thats why I asked you to refer to what I wrote.

As for the dedication to become good (which mainly means more self secure and understanding) in the interactions with young beautiful women: Yeah! I would love to meet other guys who are into this. It seems to go against some old fashioned worldview you hold. My reply to this is: Get rid of values that have been drummed into you and start listening to your own feelings!

Re: Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

#24

Post by shock »

artofstart wrote: post #5
somestranger wrote: post #4

Where are you located? And how many languages do you speak? Here's a very specific plan: Move to Barcelona. Once established there, try to find a job with either Computacenter, or Sellbytel Spain. They are usually always looking for people with good computer skills and that speak at least 3 languages (or 2 if you don't speak Spanish). They have a very nice office atmosphere, and a lot of cool people from other countr…

The thing is: I find employment very boring. I could never sit on my ass and do stuff for a company. And I usualy dont click with people who are employed. I dont like all the stuff these people are into. I have absolutely no interest in talking about politics, sports, gossip, gardening, family and whatnot. Im interested in girls, startups, coding, philosophy...

We seem to have a similar mindset and interests. Contact info is in my profile -- drop me a line so we can chat (there's no contact info in your profile). I plan to participate in the MongolRally, take a look, perhaps it might be your cup of tea, too.

Re: Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

#25

Post by artofstart »

cameron91 wrote: post #10

I have a similar background, however, I went through a lot of social anxiety my teenage years and somehow converted to being more extroverted my college years. www.meetup.com is a good site (also check lifehack.org they have good articles on how to get the self esteem to get your foot int eh door). Also I'm always looking for new connects on LinkedIn if you're into that. www.linkedin.com/in/cameronbradford/

Sorry, Im not on linkedin.

Re: Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

#27

Post by b_t_s »

invest in a high quality dividend index fund(DVY for example) and retire. You ought to be able to get over 1k EUR a month no problem. Might not sound like a lot in the EU, but you can travel or live very comfortably most places in Asia, Africa, and Central/South America on that and be completely free to pursue your interests.

Re: Ask HN: Life advice for 40yo Web Dev, single, $500k savings

#28

Post by artofstart »

b_t_s wrote: post #27

invest in a high quality dividend index fund(DVY for example) and retire. You ought to be able to get over 1k EUR a month no problem. Might not sound like a lot in the EU, but you can travel or live very comfortably most places in Asia, Africa, and Central/South America on that and be completely free to pursue your interests.

Do you live in one of these countries?
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