121–130 of 258 posts
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> and do not be a crybaby. This is literally the worst possible thing you can say to someone who is suicidal. You're a terrible person, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
> You're a terrible person, and you should be ashamed of yourself. That's not a great thing to say to a person either. Suicidal or not.
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It's still learning about religion from people who want to remove religion. It's akin to trying to understand homosexuality by asking Bryan Fischer. It's fine to educate yourself on their viewpoints and even to agree with them, but don't pretend that you're learning anything about religion. You're learning about atheism. I'd recommend checking out Karen Armstrong, Joseph Campbell, or Stephen Prothero, off the top of…
Ah, I understand what you are saying. The problem is that, I truly don't believe in gods or spirits anymore. Without gods and spirits, what is the point of religion? I consider myself to be a secular humanist. How Religion Poisons Everything is "slanted" in a way to be sure, but I actually agree with the arguments presented in the book. What do I stand to gain from studying other religions closely?
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Adrenaline can do that to you. Unfortunately, it passes. I try very hard to not make big, life-changing decisions when I'm happy and energetic, because it's usually jumping (if you'll excuse the pun) feet first into commitments that I'm not going to be able to keep when I go back to normal, level attitude--or even worse--my low periods, when failing at my commitments is not only a foregone conclusion, but I know it,…
There is modern research into willpower and afaik the essence is: try to not use your willpower. Rearrange your life so that you don't need willpower (like sell your car and burn your public transport subscription, so that you have to go by bicycle). Beating oneself up about lack of willpower is really sad (I do it myself, but it's wrong). I recommend "The Willpower Instinct" by Kelly McGonigal. There are also YouTub…
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It's still learning about religion from people who want to remove religion. It's akin to trying to understand homosexuality by asking Bryan Fischer. It's fine to educate yourself on their viewpoints and even to agree with them, but don't pretend that you're learning anything about religion. You're learning about atheism. I'd recommend checking out Karen Armstrong, Joseph Campbell, or Stephen Prothero, off the top of…
Ah, I understand what you are saying. The problem is that, I truly don't believe in gods or spirits anymore. Without gods and spirits, what is the point of religion? I consider myself to be a secular humanist. How Religion Poisons Everything is "slanted" in a way to be sure, but I actually agree with the arguments presented in the book. What do I stand to gain from studying other religions closely?
It was impossible for me to listen to other advice at that stage, so I don't know how mine can help here. But for what it's worth I can at least tell you how I llook upon it now:
I was no longer following my dreams. That's it. Consequences were that I was not happy, had no self-motivation and felt like life was useless.
My tip to you is to thing really really hard every day about what you used to dream of and try to lure those thoughts back. One you catch a glimpse, steer in that direction. Take control over your life. Make it your own again. That is what saved me and made me into what I am today: I now know what I want and am therefore pleasant company. I am no longer directionless ("spineless").
First, find confidence in yourself and find meaning in your existence in your OWN eyes (not your kids,not your friends, not your spouse, not your parents,not anyone but yourself).
Then execute this reason for your existence even if it's just one small thing (I like to go workout, I like to hang out with friends, I believe in religion,sport,hobby). Sometimes it's good to place your existence on something that is not like an old bridge about to break but something that is strong, and sturdy
If you find someone along the way then good for you.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's still learning about religion from people who want to remove religion. It's akin to trying to understand homosexuality by asking Bryan Fischer. It's fine to educate yourself on their viewpoints and even to agree with them, but don't pretend that you're learning anything about religion. You're learning about atheism. I'd recommend checking out Karen Armstrong, Joseph Campbell, or Stephen Prothero, off the top of…
Ah, I understand what you are saying. The problem is that, I truly don't believe in gods or spirits anymore. Without gods and spirits, what is the point of religion? I consider myself to be a secular humanist. How Religion Poisons Everything is "slanted" in a way to be sure, but I actually agree with the arguments presented in the book. What do I stand to gain from studying other religions closely?
I was raised a Jew, but now most resonant with Jesus. The Old Testament God is a bitchy megalomanic. Jesus was a human being and I'd argue a Humanist searching for a new theological basis.
I had struggled with untreated suicidal depression for 15 years. I was very quiet about it. I am a web developer. Three years ago I was divorced from my wife, left my birth religion and quit my job. On top of all my issues I was suffering from burnout – I hadn't had a vacation in years. Since I was the religious guy at my job I worked the holidays and was promised make up time. Company policy shifted at some point an…
He has to become more selfish and find a calling that doesn't involve any other people.
He dedicated his entire life purpose to raising a family with his girlfriend, admirable but that's a huge goal dependent on just one person.
Find something that motivates you, that make life wort living.
Making money is not a goal/life purpose it's a means to an end. It's up to you to determine what that end is.
If you really want to start a family you have to realize it doesn't necessarily have to be with that girl there's always others.
Don't know if this advice is right for him right now i haven't been depressed since i was a teenager I'm just a natural selfish loaner however realizing that my goal in life shouldn't depend on other people helped me a lot.
I mean I would like to have a girlfriend and kids some day however if that never happens i won't be bothered by it I got so many other things i want to do.
For a heterosexual man, a woman can't be your identity. Most heterosexual women need a partner with their own identity, one that she can merge with (she may temporarily settle for a partner who functions with her as their identity, but then she'll be unhappy, leave, cheat, or fantasize about cheating, or just be using the partner for other reasons). This is tough advice to swallow especially if your woman is your ide…
The fact that you can't form healthy relationships with other human beings (man or woman), doesn't mean the rest of us don't or can't have healthly mutual relationships.
Despite all of that, i'll grant part your point.
Subsuming your identity entirely into someone else isn't healthy. Have your interests. Find a significant other who supports you in your interests and support them in theirs (if monogamy is your thing). But most of all treat them as a person who has their own interests and capabilities to make their own decisions.