11–20 of 47 posts
(writing from a throwaway account) As a young male engineer in SF who is very much not the brogrammer type, I can understand where the author is coming from. I'm neither a bro, nor a nerd. I find myself in a vacuum sometimes, wondering where the other "well rounded" guys from "flyover country" are. Everyone seems to be too caught up in their startups or caught up in the money. Or their so nerdy that it's impossible t…
It's time for a single man who speaks Latin fluently, knows how to cook, is able to talk at least superficially about philosophy and can even shut up every now and then to disrupt the Seattle dating scene! Maybe some VC can fund potential "interesting dates", in exchange for a few percent of the newlywed's house?
Are they all kinda similar? Well yeah, but so are the men in all other areas whose economies are heavily mono-industrial. As a matter of fact, so are the women in areas whose economies are heavily mono-industrial with emphasis on more "feminine" professions, and the women in areas with populations more female than male.
I would say "lower your standards", but that allows you to hold on to the whole dehumanizing concept of dating-as-meat-market you've got going. In fact, you should be getting over yourself and understanding that all these "insufferable" men, of whom you have your pickings, are human beings with life histories and hopes and dreams of their own.
This mentality that everyone the natives don't like should just pack up and leave Seattle is actually (shortage of sunlight aside) a significant reason I have turned down job-offers that would have put me in Seattle.
EDIT: Seriously, normally I don't like contributing to outrage-mongering, but this is a seriously bratty article. Men are not entitled to women, and likewise, neither are women entitled to men.
EDIT EDIT: Also, all the really awesome, wonderful men are already married to the really awesome, wonderful women. This article is giving me an immense urge to call my fiancee, tell her how incredible she is just for not giving a shit about cliques and status, and then spend half an hour talking about anime and board games just to reaffirm how "insufferably" nerdy we both are.
Pretty much just a sensationality ragepiece designed to mine clicks. Just some quotes from people unhappy with their sex lives used to incite the implication that tech workers are somehow destroying a city.
“The sad thing about guys who exhibit these brogrammer qualities is they seem to fall short of greatness in both worlds,” said Parish. “They’re not purely macho or purely geeky, they’re somewhat pretenders in both...” Part of the problem is that women like this want a man who looks like Tarzan, is rich, respected and powerful but who can also change the oil in the car, fix the plumbing, mow the lawn, fight Brock Lesn…
1) She's looking for someone who has confidence in a well formed personality all their own.
2) That personality is not defined by what they do for work.
3) Part of that personality includes taking an interest in the lives and personalities of other people, particularly in the context of a one-on-one social situation who's entire purpose is (arguably) to get to know one another.
Sure, I'm certain that if all of the traits you outline came by in one package they'd happily take it, but the complaint seemed to be that she's encountering men who, having any of those qualities, assume that's like having all of them and don't bother to develop the rest of the bits that make us human and tolerable to fill in the gaps.
My reasoning behind this takeaway is that I spend a fair amount of time hanging out in (apparently) the same neighborhood and same bars that she does, and I find a lot of the folks who aren't interested in talking about anything other than what they do for work similarly insufferable. That said, I'm a guy. I work in tech. In Seattle. For Google. After having gotten tired of Amazon. I routinely catch myself being part of the problem (although not the dating problem as I haven't been single in over ten years).
I'm a straight single guy. We also want interesting dude friends. I'm fortunate enough to have found many, but almost all of them are outside the tech industry or women. Many of my friends don't know what I do, let alone that I'm quite well off and successful. And if you ask me about my work and don't notice when I change the subject, I will immediately and without sympathy move you to my shitlist.
The truth is, all the pasty white faces eager to salve their insecurity by convincing me of their startup's viability are incredibly shallow and dull. Learn how to let loose and be a genuine man who doesn't need my approval. Then come talk to me.
(writing from a throwaway account) As a young male engineer in SF who is very much not the brogrammer type, I can understand where the author is coming from. I'm neither a bro, nor a nerd. I find myself in a vacuum sometimes, wondering where the other "well rounded" guys from "flyover country" are. Everyone seems to be too caught up in their startups or caught up in the money. Or their so nerdy that it's impossible t…
you seem alright.
>but high on his newfound power drank four or five “special” drinks from the craft cocktail bar, Canon, ordered the foie gras, and racked up a $200 bill in less than two hours.
This part seemed the most curious to me. Is having a few "special" drinks a bad thing? $200 seems quite reasonable at a higher-end place. 5 cocktails alone could be nearly $100. Foie gras is like $40 or so (I didn't see it on Canon's menu)? Another few drinks and some food and you're there. Or is the subtext that he ordered in an arrogant way?
I wonder because I'd easily do this and certainly not in an arrogant way, but hey, life's short, and if a restaurant seems good and has interesting food and drinks, why not try them out? It's only money.
It sounds like normal guys acting like normal guys, and women having too high of standards. You can't connect with anyone well on the first date, or at least it's very rare.