The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
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Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#2Everybody complains. There's too few men. There's too many men. The men are too random. The men are too predictable.
Are there some good examples somewhere, something which someone could build something upon? I realize that maybe there's no incentive to write anything, if everything's okay....
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#3We changed the title in a vain attempt to make it less linkbaity.
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#4It's time for a single man who speaks Latin fluently, knows how to cook, is able to talk at least superficially about philosophy and can even shut up every now and then to disrupt the Seattle dating scene!
Maybe some VC can fund potential "interesting dates", in exchange for a few percent of the newlywed's house?
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#5Interesting reading this from the female perspective. So much of the gender roles have changed over time. There was a time when this exact same article could have been written with the sexes reversed, "All she did was talk about herself and how she was doing this cause, or that cause, and the wasn't it atrocious about the children starving in foreign countries."
Its a problem when our view of the world is focused on what we personally are bringing to the world as opposed to the world around us and the people in it. Perhaps it is the result of having one's "self esteem" pumped up from birth through college.
It would be like carrying around a small yellow card, one that was the exact shade and saturation of yellow that was in Vincent's Starry Night painting. Without the rest of the painting around it, it loses much of its specialness.
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#6Pretty much just a sensationality ragepiece designed to mine clicks.
Just some quotes from people unhappy with their sex lives used to incite the implication that tech workers are somehow destroying a city.
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#7I try my very best not to talk about work unless specifically asked. And when people do ask, they will still get bored very quickly. Even if they are asking for advice on how to learn programming or enter the field—of which it seems only 10% of those asking the question are genuinely interested in doing so.
If a date (or prospective date) asks you about work, it's probably best to just tell them you slay dragons and steer the topic towards something else.
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#8It sounds like normal guys acting like normal guys, and women having too high of standards. You can't connect with anyone well on the first date, or at least it's very rare.
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#9“The sad thing about guys who exhibit these brogrammer qualities is they seem to fall short of greatness in both worlds,” said Parish. “They’re not purely macho or purely geeky, they’re somewhat pretenders in both...”
Part of the problem is that women like this want a man who looks like Tarzan, is rich, respected and powerful but who can also change the oil in the car, fix the plumbing, mow the lawn, fight Brock Lesnar for her honor (and win) and make her laugh on command.
I tell my wife that she should have married a dozen guys. Yeah, I do so much stuff that I don't do anything really well. Thanks for noticing and calling me a pretender. I'm just an average guy like all the rest.
Edit: Happily married for 15 years. My wife and I joke about this. She understands and has settled for me ;)
Re: The tech boom in Seattle is bringing in droves of successful, insufferable guys
#10(writing from a throwaway account)
As a young male engineer in SF who is very much not the brogrammer type, I can understand where the author is coming from. I'm neither a bro, nor a nerd. I find myself in a vacuum sometimes, wondering where the other "well rounded" guys from "flyover country" are. Everyone seems to be too caught up in their startups or caught up in the money. Or their so nerdy that it's impossible to have an honest conversation with them. (Engineers can be so self-righteous sometimes.)
There is a lost art that these tech hubs need to find again. Maybe it's "being a gentleman". Or "being a renaissance person". There are so many soft skills that most people (young tech guys) lack.
* How do you have a conversation with someone not from your socioeconomic/political/technological/generational background? * How do you treat a woman with respect and dignity? * How do you "pick up girls" without needing to resort to the absurd tactics of The Game? * How do you host a dinner party? * How do you approach the arts and culture? * How do you pay attention to world news and politics? * How do you dress respectfully? * Can you debate philosophy gracefully and purposefully?
From the outside perspective, I'm one of the rich, dumb tech nerds that this article is rallying against. I'm a white kid from flyover country. I have a lot of money. My company is very successful by all standard measures. I'm an engineer, I like science fiction.
It's funny, though, when people (especially women) meet me. They are often surprised that I am not an idiot brogrammer. I can carry on a conversation about topics outside of tech. I have opinions about the arts and music. I can discuss world politics with knowledge and tact. I know how to carry a conversation: give and take, tell jokes, etc. I have traveled widely.
Because of this differentiation, I've found it very easy to pick up women in SF. Women are surprised to find a genuine person who actually cares about them, what their passions are, what they think.
I know I'm not perfect, and I certainly am striving to do better at all of these things. But I know I'm one of the few who actually pursues these activities and has interest in these kinds of soft skills. I wish more people took this approach. I would have more friends, the women of tech hubs would write fewer articles about idiot brogrammers, and we'd all live a more fulfilling and happy life.
So here's a plea: let's make a finishing school for nerds. We would all benefit.