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Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

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Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#51

Post by aviral »

I guess it’s not about Business class or working class. Sometime people get overwhelmed by an idea, and this idea has its inception from what other people are doing. This makes you look what you are doing is not good. Business, Job, Status, Money etc. it’s all work and just a small part of life (Life has many more aspect). If something does not work for you, then let it go. Start new, which bring backs balance to your life. By starting new I mean not only work, if your work does not bring money then switch (there is no shame); if your current job gives you a lot money but now time to spend with your loved you are still doing a stupid thing; if your individualist character don't let you pursue grouping (family/relation), bring a change in you (how much you devote to life that relation)... It’s all about balance. When you are standing at such a point in life, people can just give you advice; it’s just YOU who can help YOURSELF. No work is big or small, real status is being a good person…..etc.…

So my friend, let it go, start with something which will --> work for you It’s my recent realization after I feel in love (with my family, a girl, and me :D )!!!

Balance is the keyword!!I guess :)

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#52

Post by insuffi »

looser wrote: post #42

I often hear people say: Get a 9 to 5 job... But a job probably will not teach you much about business. I have a different advice that will give you two important lessons at the same time: "Sell something, as soon as possible." If you have a product that you can build quickly. Build it and sell it, ASAP. If you don't have a product... Good. Use the money you have and buy some product that you can sell for more... Rep…

2 counterpoints: 1) Lack of liquidity in "selling products". 2) Personal cash flow issues.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#53

Post by notastartup »

I'm in a similar situation but without the girlfriend except I'm not trying to do a large startup, I'm trying to get a positive cash flow going through a SaaS and it's hard as hell to even get started! I mean I tried for the past 5 years, on and off, but I've been doing the same god damn problem everytime and it's recently that I realized that I don't know shit about business and marketing. I focused some time on that by researching and doing brainstorming.

I'm not ready to give up but it's just staggering how long it has taken me and each year, it has been a mediocre, mostly due to me burning out when it came time to do the business stuff because I spent all my energy on building the damn product and than kept on adding new features so that it would entice customers from the sheer list of features.

Take the $5000, save it. Do not spend it on a new startup idea. I've spent about $50 in total for my 12th attempt. I spent about $3000 on my 5th attempt in 2010. Didn't do jack shit. It's not really about the money you throw at it, it's about being not burnt out when it comes to do the important things I'm learning.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#54

Post by kiddz »

I'm super concerned for your well being and I don't even know you. What screams to me is that the last thing you should do is to try to do anything like start a business. It does not matter if you follow the best advice, and even do everything that you had done wrong right going forward. When you say things like "I hate what my life has become," then just stop what you're doing for a while.

Really. . . just stop.

Now, I know this will be hard to do. You've probably defined yourself as something different than your peers, and your peers (although not doing start-ups/tech etc) probably admire you. Hell, even your girlfriend lying in bed alone is probably saying that you're a mad genius and that's why your on your computer. Anyways, still even with the social pressure to go on, I suggest you just stop.

Spend the rest of the year focusing of feeling better not doing better. Grab some books, take that trip, and just give yourself a break. I'm not one to suggest self-help books but Stephen Covey has this excellent metaphor in 7 Habits about keeping the saw sharp. The saw is you. Right now it seems like the blade is pretty dull from excessive work. So stop and reread what you posted hear and see how you have described what you have lost.

Grab beers with your friends. Spend time with your gf. Save that 5K because 5k is far better than 0k. And on a side note, any person who e-mails you saying that they want to work with you, given how you have expressed your current state, should stop too.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#55

Post by mansa »

Man, you seriously need a break. 5years is long term. I have been part of startup from past 2 years and i am like totally burn out due to excessive amount of work.

For you is better to find a job that you love to do, earn some money and get your life back, go get your girl friend to some trip.

After 2-3 years you may again thought of startup, at that point of time you have more knowledge and experience.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#56

Post by sdesol »

alecsmart1 wrote: post #26

I just read through it all and realized you're just 23! I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. I thought you were like 40 and lost with no hope. But at 23? Come on.... Just get yourself a simple job for a bit. Take a break. What do you have to lose? Once you sound a little less burned out, you can give startups a shot again. Have some patience, and please enjoy your journey; you only get to do it once.

I had the same reaction as you and I did a search for 23 in this thread and nobody else is talking about this. Has Zuckerberg really skewed a generation. The odds of you making it big at the age is insanely low.

Taking 7 years to get good at something is actually a smart thing to do. The best thing to do is always look for a room where you are not the smartest so you can learn and when you can't find anymore rooms, you'll know it's your time.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#57

Post by palidanx »

I've been in the same boat also. After my first start-up tanked, I was kind of lost and didn't know what to do. I ended up working for a consulting firm doing software. Unexpectedly, I picked up a lot of soft skill sets in selling and communication along the way. I eventually quit that consulting firm where now I am doing my second start-up which is doing much better than the first.

I think when a start-up fails, there is the pressure to immediately continue and try to force a situation for something to work. But what I'd suggest is to go with the flow, and perhaps first restore your capital cushions with a full time job.

Try to pick a full time job that can hone your software skill sets, but also allow you to learn some soft skills. As you get back into the groove of not worrying so much, that start-up itch will come back. But at that time you will be in a much better place hopefully~

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#58

Post by methodin »

I am curious exactly where the sentiment that passion for an idea, and the success thereafter, has to come from the sacrifice of everything else in your life. Is this simply propagated through the romantic biographies of the few people who managed to turn these unfortunate circumstances into success?

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#59

Post by rmz »

meric wrote: post #50
kriptonic wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hello. You make a lot of assumptions about me. I'm not trying to whine, I saw a problem and I'm asking for help fixing that problem in return for my time and money. Also, I have a job. Me and my girlfriend have a great relationship and I do everything I can to make sure she's happy. I have a lot more than $5000 to show for it. That's is just what I have for a side project. I don't fail at everything. I'm only 23, and…

"I do everything I can to make sure she's happy." That's the wrong way around. Do everything to make sure you are happy, with or without her. It's up to her if she wants to be happy with you.

What you want is an equilibrium situation where both are happy.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#60

Post by andretti1977 »

Please, give your life a higher priority! This means spend time with your girlfriend, with other people and enjoy life in general: outdoor activities, creative activities, entertainment, readings and so on. I think nobody can be successfull in work (9-5 job, startups and other forms of jobs) if he is not happy with his life.

And it seems to me that you are not so satisfied.

So first of all change priority: satisfying life first then business.

Obviously work is an important part of our life because it takes lot of our time and because it is very important in self realization. But it is not the most important part of life so you cannot allow it to overcome everything.

So if you want to balance high motivations job and good revenue, start freelancing (even if you live in a so strange country like italy!): it is not standard 9-5 job (but please don't let it become 7-11 job!) so it is more motivating (at least for me it is because you are always facing new challenges) and it pays good and have your side projects grow in a susteinable way.

I think i know what you are feeling...years ago i felt something similar...it is not easy to accept for people with "fire in the veins", but you must put serenity and order in your life priorities! Enjoy! Then start-it-up!

Wish you best luck!

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