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Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

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41–50 of 137 posts

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#41
post #25

* I've lost pretty much all my friends because of the time I've spent trying to make my ideas work. I suspect that work has nothing to do with this, more likely the negativity and the real reason why you're so obsessed with work. I think work is your crutch, not your problem. * And now it's 2:31am on a Sunday evening and my girlfriend is in bed wondering why I won't come give her a cuddle, but I can't. Most people ar…

Hello. You make a lot of assumptions about me. I'm not trying to whine, I saw a problem and I'm asking for help fixing that problem in return for my time and money. Also, I have a job. Me and my girlfriend have a great relationship and I do everything I can to make sure she's happy. I have a lot more than $5000 to show for it. That's is just what I have for a side project. I don't fail at everything. I'm only 23, and…

> I do everything I can to make sure she's happy.

What do you do to make sure you're happy? No one wants to hang around with, invest in or buy something from someone who isn't happy.

Find yourself first. Everything else will fall into place. I'm not saying you need to break it off, but put yourself on equal ground and see what happens. You'll learn a lot about yourself and her.

Personal stuff aside, heed the advice of so many others: Get a job, be great at it. Take every opportunity to learn and think of new ideas, new ways to create value and grow.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#42
I often hear people say: Get a 9 to 5 job... But a job probably will not teach you much about business.

I have a different advice that will give you two important lessons at the same time:

"Sell something, as soon as possible."

If you have a product that you can build quickly. Build it and sell it, ASAP.

If you don't have a product... Good. Use the money you have and buy some product that you can sell for more... Repeat it.

Sales is the quickest way to make money and consequently will teach you about business.

PS: At this point it is preferable to find cheap products, so you can buy sell quickly, until you have a good sum of money... then, you'll be able to elaborate the perfect product/business you have in mind.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#43
post #38

Alas, and contrary to what others are saying, being from a working class background is an obstacle. If you would have had a legacy admission to Harvard (which you could have then most hip-ly dropped out of) and had a bunch of frat brothers with VC dads, it would have been a different story and everybody here knows it. Escaping from the working class is a matter of luck, not hard work, and that's a brute fact of reali…

Escaping from the working class is a matter of luck, not hard work, and that's a brute fact of reality.

Bullshit.

It may be harder, but it's certainly not about luck. I went to a shitty state school (not even the flagship) in Arkansas. While I was a "frat boy" unless I'm interested in managing a cracker barrel they are of little help.

Instead I worked my ass off to develop meaningful skills. Then I intentionally found work with incredibly smart people who could help me. It may have taken me longer to reach my goals than someone with a Ivy League pedigree I was absolutely able to do it. No luck involved.

I absolutely believe that anyone else can do the same. I see it every single day.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#44
post #38

Alas, and contrary to what others are saying, being from a working class background is an obstacle. If you would have had a legacy admission to Harvard (which you could have then most hip-ly dropped out of) and had a bunch of frat brothers with VC dads, it would have been a different story and everybody here knows it. Escaping from the working class is a matter of luck, not hard work, and that's a brute fact of reali…

Success in anything is rarely just about luck.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#45
post #25

* I've lost pretty much all my friends because of the time I've spent trying to make my ideas work. I suspect that work has nothing to do with this, more likely the negativity and the real reason why you're so obsessed with work. I think work is your crutch, not your problem. * And now it's 2:31am on a Sunday evening and my girlfriend is in bed wondering why I won't come give her a cuddle, but I can't. Most people ar…

I think you're being a little unfair to kriptonic here, and perhaps being a little confused about causation. You're assuming he's failing because he's a negative person. I would say it's much more likely his negativity is a result of being burned out from too much work and not enough sleep.

Burnout is a good thing. Your body is basically telling you that you are working too hard at something that is not achieving results, and it's time for a change.

kriptonic: I would recommend leaving your side projects on the back-burner for a while. Just work on your day-job, and catch up on your sleep and maybe take a vacation. Once you've taken a break, start thinking about your projects and you might come up with a new direction.

Just because you think your idea is good doesn't mean it will be successful. It also doesn't necessarily have much to do with being good at business. You just need to come up with something that other people want to use.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#46

Here's the better idea. Get a 9 to 5 six figure job. It will be boring, I know. Life sucks like that sometimes. Most of us have one. Next, live like a pauper, saving 60-70+% of that income. Spend your free time doing exactly 3 things 1. working on a side project 2. spending time with your girlfriend. 3. exercise (never count this out, no matter what your life circumstances otherwise) Then just wait 5 more years. You…

Up-vote this, 1000x.

Exercise changed my life, not long ago. :)

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#47

Here's the better idea. Get a 9 to 5 six figure job. It will be boring, I know. Life sucks like that sometimes. Most of us have one. Next, live like a pauper, saving 60-70+% of that income. Spend your free time doing exactly 3 things 1. working on a side project 2. spending time with your girlfriend. 3. exercise (never count this out, no matter what your life circumstances otherwise) Then just wait 5 more years. You…

What about us who live in developing nations and get paid less than USD1000 per month working as a dev? Saving money is hard over here.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#48
Sorry to hear about your situation. For what it's worth, my advice:

Stop trying to build a startup. Build a business instead. A bootstrapped, makes cash today business. Maybe it's a consultancy specializing in bank software or maybe it's something else that you have expertise in, but stop trying to build an all or nothing startup.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#49
Here's my 2 Cents...

First of all, DO NOT quit your job unless your new business is making money. You know what's worse than working a job you hate? Not having any money at all.

Secondly, stop trying to start the process with an idea. The best way to come up with a solid business idea is to pick a market (preferably one you know something about) and learn as much as you can about it. Observe what people are saying. Write down what people are complaining about. Get to know them inside and out. Once you've done the market research, THEN brainstorm ideas based on that research. Start small. Build a landing page with an email submit and shop the link around to your market. If they bite (which they should if you did your research properly), then work on building out the product.

All that work should cost you nothing more than time and hosting/design. Save that $5000 for when you'll really need it—after your product has been validated and you have interest/pre-orders.

Good luck!!

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#50
post #25

* I've lost pretty much all my friends because of the time I've spent trying to make my ideas work. I suspect that work has nothing to do with this, more likely the negativity and the real reason why you're so obsessed with work. I think work is your crutch, not your problem. * And now it's 2:31am on a Sunday evening and my girlfriend is in bed wondering why I won't come give her a cuddle, but I can't. Most people ar…

Hello. You make a lot of assumptions about me. I'm not trying to whine, I saw a problem and I'm asking for help fixing that problem in return for my time and money. Also, I have a job. Me and my girlfriend have a great relationship and I do everything I can to make sure she's happy. I have a lot more than $5000 to show for it. That's is just what I have for a side project. I don't fail at everything. I'm only 23, and…

"I do everything I can to make sure she's happy."

That's the wrong way around. Do everything to make sure you are happy, with or without her. It's up to her if she wants to be happy with you.

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