Being A Victim Of Revenge Porn Forced Me To Change My Name • Hacker News Board

Re: Being A Victim Of Revenge Porn Forced Me To Change My Name

#31

Post by mistermann » Sat, Nov 30, 2013, 5:40 PM UTC

robomartin wrote: post #13

I hope this doesn't come out wrong. She is a victim of a horrific crime. There is no doubt about that whatsoever. Anywhere else this guy would have been beaten to a pulp. If someone did this to my daughter...well, let's leave it there. Having said that, I have to wonder about the mental framework within which a girl thinks it might be a good idea to allow the taking of nude pictures and videos of herself. Please, som…

> if you are in a relationship with someone who wants to take nude or compromising pictures or video of you, run away from that man as quickly as you can. He does not respect or protect you. He does not look after your best interests. He is an asshole.

Nonsense. There are plenty of people that take photos and videos of their personal sex lives. You really need to get out more.

Secondly, there appears to be two sides to this story: http://jacobsvsseay.com

For the sake of argument, let's assume his side of the story is the more correct one. Under that circumstance, what do you have to say about society and the legal system with respect to the ability for a woman to potentially destroy an innocent (again, we are assuming his story is true in the context of this question) man's life? Do you have the same visceral reaction, that it is a horrific crime?

Re: Being A Victim Of Revenge Porn Forced Me To Change My Name

#32

Post by bambax » Sun, Dec 01, 2013, 8:11 AM UTC

ohazi wrote: post #6

diminoten wrote: post #5

I can't imagine myself caring enough to deal with this the way she did. I think it might be a gender gap thing - I literally can't understand this reaction. Obviously I'm not an idiot, and would never cause this kind of pain to someone else, but it's foreign pain. It's the kind of pain I read about, and understand it exists in this world, but have no frame of reference for, like starvation or something like malaria.…

> And what are employers doing, attempting to confront their employees about it? Are these employers not educated enough in how the Internet works to know precisely the intent of those who've contacted them with this information? Perhaps an employer notifies the victim of the harassment, but certainly doesn't attempt to take consequential action against the employee regarding the material. While I understand where yo…

Many people may indeed have a holier-than-thou moral perspective, but certainly not all of them?

Re: Being A Victim Of Revenge Porn Forced Me To Change My Name

#33

Post by BrandonMarc » Tue, Dec 03, 2013, 6:22 PM UTC

jakewu1982 wrote: post #14

This is not a black and white case. You need to read Ryan Seay's side of the story to get a better perspective of how things likely went down - http://jacobsvsseay.com

Thank you for the link. When I read the original article about them making new laws, the libertarian in me twitches. Even moreso when I think about unintended consequences:

As an example: what happens when someone is accused of revenge porn, yet is innocent? Similar to the original victim, the accused is also subjected to mob justice, and the court of public opinion makes up its mind based on whose story gets to the news wires first, fastest, and farthest.

Consider, hypothetically: a woman uploads the pictures & videos herself, and then accuses her former lover, so that she can make his live hell for it. It could happen.

That's where I get nervous about the idea being bandied about that making some new law to handle some specific thing will necessarily be effective ... it may, it may not, but the details and specific execution matter greatly.

Re: Being A Victim Of Revenge Porn Forced Me To Change My Name

#34

Post by bmelton » Thu, Dec 05, 2013, 7:19 AM UTC

user24 wrote: post #11

diminoten wrote: post #5

I can't imagine myself caring enough to deal with this the way she did. I think it might be a gender gap thing - I literally can't understand this reaction. Obviously I'm not an idiot, and would never cause this kind of pain to someone else, but it's foreign pain. It's the kind of pain I read about, and understand it exists in this world, but have no frame of reference for, like starvation or something like malaria.…

I undestand (and somewhat agree with) your reaction - but only if the photos/videos are anonymous. I don't like the idea of someone getting off to pictures of me, but so long as it's completely disassociated from my real life I think I'd be generally OK with it. But if someone sent my parents/employers/friends a video of me and my wife going at it, along with my very googleable name, I think I would feel violated in…

This may come off as insensitive, but I promise it isn't intended that way.

If you're the sort of person that would have a problem with others getting off to pictures of you naked, don't take pictures of yourself naked. If that seems too restrictive, definitely don't take pictures of yourself naked and then give them to somebody else.

If you have pictures of yourself naked, and have given them to somebody else, you should not be surprised if they ever make it onto the public internet.

If you have pictures of yourself naked, and have not given them to somebody else, you should take exceptional care to ensure that they aren't stolen, hacked, lost or what have you. Delete them, shred them, destroy them.