Being A Victim Of Revenge Porn Forced Me To Change My Name

I undestand (and somewhat agree with) your reaction - but only if the photos/videos are anonymous. I don't like the idea of someone getting off to pictures of me, but so long as it's completely disassociated from my real life I think I'd be generally OK with it.

But if someone sent my parents/employers/friends a video of me and my wife going at it, along with my very googleable name, I think I would feel violated in a whole different way.

That changes the situation in a very important way, don't you think?

I hope this doesn't come out wrong. She is a victim of a horrific crime. There is no doubt about that whatsoever. Anywhere else this guy would have been beaten to a pulp. If someone did this to my daughter...well, let's leave it there.

Having said that, I have to wonder about the mental framework within which a girl thinks it might be a good idea to allow the taking of nude pictures and videos of herself.

Please, someone help me understand this, because I clearly don't. The explanation and justification would be far more powerful if it came from a woman.

For a model or aspiring actress it might very well be par for the course and that's that. That anyone else would think this isn't something that will one day come back to bite you is beyond me. In the case of the OP we are talking about a PhD student which, to me at least, implies a certain degree of intelligence and, hopefully, good judgement.

Never write an email, take pictures or videos you don't want the world to see. Never. Ever.

Then there's the other side of these situations. No honorable man would even propose his girlfriend to engage in taking such pictures or videos. Why? Because if you truly care for her you will always actively protect her.

If drinking and drugs were involved it could be another matter. We could rightfully question the moral and ethical choices made by people willing to compromise their good judgement this way.

Yes, I tend to think in some cases it takes two to tango. The guy is a slimeball who deserves financial consequences and jail time. If the pictures were taken with her consent, she is at fault for not showing good judgement. It was stupid and sometimes you pay for doing dumb things.

What she experienced was extreme and it should be criminal. All I am saying is laws only protect you AFTER a crime was committed, not before. The only way to protect yourself from this kind of crime is to behave in such a way that it is impossible to find yourself in that predicament, ever.

Another way to put it is: Killing is a crime with many laws and case law covering it. This is not going to protect you if you walk into a dark alley in a seedy neighborhood and get killed. Yes, the murderer is likely to go to jail if caught and convicted. What got you killed was your decision to enter that alley in the first place. You can't live life thinking there are no criminals around you. Passing laws does little to change this.

If you are a woman reading this please remember: if you are in a relationship with someone who wants to take nude or compromising pictures or video of you, run away from that man as quickly as you can. He does not respect or protect you. He does not look after your best interests. He is an asshole. If you allow it be prepared for these pictures to end-up anywhere at all. Do not do it. It could come back and ruin your life. And please, don't drink or do drugs to such an extent that you lose the ability to exercise good judgement.

Got to wonder about the girls in those girls gone wild videos. How many of them will look back at what they did and think it was a good idea.

Yes, I wrote about this the last time this topic came up here.

There is another guy who's life was destroyed by revenge porn, specifically the public sharing of private selfies. Even 2 years after the incident, Carlos Danger (Anthony Wiener) is still being rejected from jobs (by voters) as a result of his actions.

http://www.chrisstucchio.com/blog/2013/defending_hunter_moor...

I don't see a reasonable way to shut down revenge porn - it's pretty clearly journalism, and not much different from hidden cam journalism or publicizing leaked documents.

Analogy. Should a woman run from a man who asks to engage in cybersex? At the end of the day, the only difference is a MIME Type; it's still a record.

I am not being facetious. We use technology is a number of different ways to express our sexuality. Part of your proposal sounds highly reactionary, and that bothers me. It seems to indirectly justify, for instance, institutions that make it compulsory for victims like this to in similar fashion use technology to further "undo" their own lives.