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Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

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Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#141

Post by keithpeter »

petercooper wrote: post #118
keithpeter wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a child (1960s) in a working class neighbourhood in the Liverpool area (UK), we lived in small terraced houses and lived very close to the neighbours. The children played in the road (hardly any cars) and in a park and on the beach (not the cleanest). During our long summer days (52.5 degrees North) we had the whole day down the beach. Basic safety: we stuck together and avoided strangers, but we spoke to known ad…

The children played in the road (hardly any cars) and in a park Now I see children in nurseries behind substantial railings The family may or may not know the neighbours at all There's a separate issue which reveals itself in what you say but which wasn't specifically addressed. A big reason for less community cohesion nowadays is that no longer are large numbers of parents staying at home and interacting in the comm…

Maybe commuting is the problem as much as women working?

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#142

Post by [deleted] »

venus wrote: post #126
chattoraj wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I read it recently, and found it to be Atlas Shrugged for 5-year-olds. The only point of the story is to say: "YOU, the reader, being a child, are so much better and smarter than all these grown-up sheeple!!" All told, I like the version at the end of this page[1] much better. [1] http://the-toast.net/2013/08/02/texts-from-peter-pan-et-al/

You're going to miss out on a lot of good things in life if you persist with this hyper-cynical attitude. How you managed to arrive at such a twisted misinterpretation is baffling, but it's a comment on you, not the book.

[deleted]

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#143

Post by chattoraj »

icebraining wrote: post #103
chattoraj wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Being an adult is being able to handle responsibilities and take care of yourself in the world. Being a grown-up is being a prig whose soul died years ago. A fair opinion, but I don't think the book makes that distinction. The prince keeps heckling the narrator even when he's trying to fix his plane and head back to civilization. How is trying to escape near-certain death a "grown-up" thing, as opposed to being an…

"Now you must work. You must return to your engine. I will be waiting for you here. Come back tomorrow evening . . ." (...) "I am glad that you have found what was the matter with your engine," he said. "Now you can go back home--"

Thanks for pointing these out. Looks like I need to reread the book.

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#144

Post by eli_gottlieb »

shubb wrote: post #130
eli_gottlieb wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The only point of the story is to say: "YOU, the reader, being a child, are so much better and smarter than all these grown-up sheeple!!" I'm 24 and it's still true. Being an adult is being able to handle responsibilities and take care of yourself in the world. Being a grown-up is being a prig whose soul died years ago.

I think sometimes it is hard to understand people who are just in a different place to us. We have values, and those change over time, and they reflect the values of society, which change over time. Is someone living true to their values so bad?

>Is someone living true to their values so bad?

Are those values tolerable to me? To go straight to the absurd end, Adolf Hitler lived a life entirely in accordance with his values. Yet, hand me a time machine and I'll kill him myself.

Of course, if we want to talk about how to reconcile different people to each other when they have radically conflicting values, we've hit what might be called the Hard Problem of Meta-Ethics.

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#145

Post by AznHisoka »

emp_zealoth wrote: post #104
sown wrote: post #33

this applies to me. I'm very alone pretty much most of the time. Not really had friends and not great at making them. For the last 11 months I've tried going out and being the most positive person I can, to be a friend to as many people as I can but I don't know if it's working or not. Just talking to people, listening to them, smiling at everyone. It feels like I'm just a grinning idiot, that no one takes me serious…

I feel exactly like you - I'm a little bit deaf so any social gathering is an enormous strain to me (75% of my brain power is directed at just deciphering words) I also have awful, prolonged headaches that make me talk really slow - I've been lonely for most of my life, I still feel that way. But it changed when i met a girl at my uni - i ignored her at the time (I thought i could do it all alone!). I only started ta…

"You can find your own Angel in the most ridiculous of circumstances"

I think it's dangerous to find salvation on 1 single person. Life is not black and white, and there's no "angels" in this world.

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#147

Post by [deleted] »

eli_gottlieb wrote: post #144
shubb wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think sometimes it is hard to understand people who are just in a different place to us. We have values, and those change over time, and they reflect the values of society, which change over time. Is someone living true to their values so bad?

>Is someone living true to their values so bad? Are those values tolerable to me? To go straight to the absurd end, Adolf Hitler lived a life entirely in accordance with his values. Yet, hand me a time machine and I'll kill him myself. Of course, if we want to talk about how to reconcile different people to each other when they have radically conflicting values, we've hit what might be called the Hard Problem of Meta…

[deleted]

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#148

Post by JoeAltmaier »

reinhardt wrote: post #117
evanmoran wrote: post #22

When I was in college a classmate of mine would come by every day or so to my dorm. He would just hang out, talking about class or whatever. I couldn't understand why he kept coming over, but I was too polite to mention anything. Turns out, he came by because we were friends. In fact, we had been friends the whole time, but I didn't know it! What I missed is that the stages between meeting people and friendship look…

I've never really grasped the concept of "hanging out". I feel a get-together has to have a tangible purpose, be it solving a problem, playing a game, cooking or whatnot. Hanging out without a specific "agenda" has always felt forced, awkward and in the long term boring, resulting in me gradually withdrawing from most social circles I've found myself in. I guess I don't get the point of abstract friendship for its ow…

'Abstract friendship'? Only real, organic, laugh and cry friendship is worth having. I can't even imagine what an abstract friendship is - maybe 'liking' someone on Facebook?

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#149

Post by cJ0th »

AznHisoka wrote: post #145
emp_zealoth wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel exactly like you - I'm a little bit deaf so any social gathering is an enormous strain to me (75% of my brain power is directed at just deciphering words) I also have awful, prolonged headaches that make me talk really slow - I've been lonely for most of my life, I still feel that way. But it changed when i met a girl at my uni - i ignored her at the time (I thought i could do it all alone!). I only started ta…

"You can find your own Angel in the most ridiculous of circumstances" I think it's dangerous to find salvation on 1 single person. Life is not black and white, and there's no "angels" in this world.

That's right. But then again, there are certain people out there who can change people in a positive way.

Additionally, I think it is important to actively seek people that could positively affect you. The case above sounds more like a lucky incident. Luck can happen but don't bank on it!

Re: Life of solitude: A loneliness crisis is looming

#150

Post by reinhardt »

JoeAltmaier wrote: post #148
reinhardt wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've never really grasped the concept of "hanging out". I feel a get-together has to have a tangible purpose, be it solving a problem, playing a game, cooking or whatnot. Hanging out without a specific "agenda" has always felt forced, awkward and in the long term boring, resulting in me gradually withdrawing from most social circles I've found myself in. I guess I don't get the point of abstract friendship for its ow…

'Abstract friendship'? Only real, organic, laugh and cry friendship is worth having. I can't even imagine what an abstract friendship is - maybe 'liking' someone on Facebook?

Probably "abstract" wasn't the best term; "context free" maybe? As in, there's little common ground and few if any goal-driven activities involved. You don't "get together to do X", you just "hang out" or "meet up" without a particular reason in mind, and it basically boils down to everyday smalltalk, shooting the shit and mindless drinking. I guess that alone is rewarding enough for normal people and helps keep loneliness at bay but it doesn't do much for me.
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