61–70 of 75 posts
The language here of "working on a room" is a little bit unnerving, but he's right. If you want to meet new people and have interesting conversations, I've had similar experiences like this which I've enjoyed. Furthermore, interrupting a conversation at an event like the one he describes with the question, "so what are we talking about?" after you've gotten their attention is a good way to find something to talk abou…
Should be "she's right" (Kimberly)
The advice about singling out pairs of people is really interesting. How does one go about approaching them if they are in mid conversation? Do you just lurk, wait for a brief pause, then swoop in? This seems creepy. Do you just barge in mid-sentence? This seems rude. Do you chime in if they something that catches your interest? This seems nosy.
Just remember that everyone else at these events is there to meet other people too. They WANT to mingle, and by introducing yourself, you're helping them do so.
Good luck!
I avoided clicking this link at first as I was expecting to groan at the shmoozy BS inside. I was pleasantly surprised to find a concrete technique that I can easily remember and apply. Thanks.
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These options are better than my usual, "Well, it was very nice talking to you," said firmly and with a smile.
Even that is better than keeping a dead-end conversation going.
If you want to see masters of keeping up a conversation, watch some comedy improv. Their entire task is to take a topic which they don't know about (usually specified by an audience member) and convert it into a conversation that must be kept up by each person. Once you see enough of these improvs you will notice that each comedian is able to inject something interesting into each sentence that keeps the conversation going, but not too much (or too little) that it causes the topic to die on the vine.
How to get out of a one-on-one conversation: OPTION 1 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet with someone that does $x." You: "Oh I just met Bob, who's into $x. He's over there, do you want to meet him?" Them: "Sure!" You go and introduce them, then after a minute excuse yourself. They'll hardly notice. OPTION 2 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet w…
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pg has said that he considers How to Win Friends and Influence People to be the most inspiring book on leadership[0]. I think it's especially helpful for hackers, because it basically lays out instructions for how to meet (and then exceed) people's social expectations. A lot of non-hackers seem to have learned those skills in middle school, while many of us were busy learning other skills. Learning to "play along" an…
>how narcissistic that was--I am not superhuman and cannot exert mind control, so any social "hacking" is really just using the system the way it is designed to be used. Spot on. Reminds me of the the quote by Cisco founder Sandy Lerner: "The first rule of any game is to know you're in one."
I would add that the second rule to any game is to know the game is broader than what it seems. Poker is really not just about cards. Startups aren't about building a product. Passing an exam isn't about knowing the answers. Thinking about the broader game opens so much more opportunity than being stuck in what people believe is the game's limit.
How to get out of a one-on-one conversation: OPTION 1 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet with someone that does $x." You: "Oh I just met Bob, who's into $x. He's over there, do you want to meet him?" Them: "Sure!" You go and introduce them, then after a minute excuse yourself. They'll hardly notice. OPTION 2 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet w…
How to get out of a one-on-one conversation: OPTION 1 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet with someone that does $x." You: "Oh I just met Bob, who's into $x. He's over there, do you want to meet him?" Them: "Sure!" You go and introduce them, then after a minute excuse yourself. They'll hardly notice. OPTION 2 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet w…
How to get out of a one-on-one conversation: OPTION 1 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet with someone that does $x." You: "Oh I just met Bob, who's into $x. He's over there, do you want to meet him?" Them: "Sure!" You go and introduce them, then after a minute excuse yourself. They'll hardly notice. OPTION 2 You: "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" Them: "I'm hoping to meet w…
Uhm, in 99% of the parties I go to the usual answer to "So who are you hoping to meet tonight?" would be 1. "my friends" or 2. "someone to sleep with". Not sure what kind of parties you go to where that is a normal thing to ask...