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How I Learned to Work a Room

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Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#51

Post by reirob »

ctruzzi wrote: post #45
reirob wrote: post #40

Funny. It is actually the comments that made me finally read the article. Nice technique. But immediately I felt sorry for all the people that come in the room alone and do not have the courage to mingle. This technique will make them feel even more bad.

Why would it make them feel worse? Wouldn't this give individuals a new technique for entering conversations?

I understand the article, that the technique consists in starting conversation with a two people that speak already - so the ones that do not have a conversation partner yet will stay alone. Or did I miss something?

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#52

Post by etler »

mikegriff wrote: post #49
dctoedt wrote: post #44

Mild introvert here. I've had better luck focusing on 'singletons,' and catalyzing the formation of new conversation groups, instead of trying to work into an existing duo's conversation. A few years ago I stood alone at a big "networking breakfast." I barely knew anyone. It popped into my head: Pretend you're the host -- make 'your' guests feel welcome. Looking around, I spotted another singleton. Smiling, I stuck o…

Nice, I like that one. I've been in that situation before, standing on my own and seeing others standing on their own too. But I never thought of just going up and being the person to introduce them to others. I'll have to try that out.

Be the change you wish to see in the world... Or something.

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#53

Post by DanielRibeiro »

kordless wrote: post #21

I'd also add that body language of a pair talking will tell you if you are welcome to stick around and converse. If they separate slightly to accommodate your presence and address you by looking at you when they are talking, you are good to go. If they stay facing each other and do quick glances at you, they are probably having a more intimate discussion which may be hard if you are standing there listening. Body lan…

100 times yes. This book is amazing for this[1]. You can skim it online[2], but I highly suggest getting a real copy. There are so many things to pay attention to, but one of the greatest realizations for me was that your body language can and does affect other people's, even if they are not aware of it.

[1] http://www.amazon.com/The-Definitive-Book-Body-Language/dp/0...

[2] http://www.slideshare.net/anhnguyet_hro/the-definitive-booko...

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#54

Post by TheSOB88 »

benched wrote: post #39
kordless wrote: post #21

I'd also add that body language of a pair talking will tell you if you are welcome to stick around and converse. If they separate slightly to accommodate your presence and address you by looking at you when they are talking, you are good to go. If they stay facing each other and do quick glances at you, they are probably having a more intimate discussion which may be hard if you are standing there listening. Body lan…

I always wonder just how well body language really correlates with intention, in general. For example, whenever I'm standing in a pair or group, and somebody walks over, I always consciously reorient myself to help include the new person. But I never seem to notice other people doing the same. I think I use my body language quite consciously, but I usually get the impression that it is mostly unconscious for others.…

Same thing with me. I feel like the only other people who do this are high school teachers (???).

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#55

Post by mooreds »

My favorite technique for working the room: "So, what do you do ... for fun."

I find that talking about what people do for fun is much more interesting than what they do for work. And if the person is interesting, it might come back around to work anyway.

My favorite technique for exiting a conversation is the old chestnut of "I need to refill my drink." Easy peasy.

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#56

Post by eruditely »

chflamplighter wrote: post #17
statusgraph wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your point of exiting negative chats is a very good one. The instinct (for me, anyway) is to double down and try to fight it out, which is a waste of time for everyone involved.

I second that, it is one thing to actively look to enter a conversation but one must be prepared to politely move one. Time is valuable and knowing when/how to exit is an important part of any effective strategy.

Possibly the most important part.

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#57

Post by eruditely »

orthecreedence wrote: post #25
timje1 wrote: post #3

Everyone sucks at networking the first few times, and public speaking the first few times, and presentations the first few times. The exact technique you use to get over that initial bump is probably not as important as just trying it a few times..

As an introvert, this is wrong. Example: everyone sucks at rocket science the first few times. But maybe if I try one more time... It actually really helps to get pointers like these. Something like "focus your efforts on groups of two" can give you a) a lifeline and b) something to look forward to rather than dreading the occasion...and having that "this may be fun" mindset can take you that much further. I know a f…

Oh please nobody said hit your head against a wall repeatedly. Deliberative practice.

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#58

Post by eruditely »

reirob wrote: post #51
ctruzzi wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why would it make them feel worse? Wouldn't this give individuals a new technique for entering conversations?

I understand the article, that the technique consists in starting conversation with a two people that speak already - so the ones that do not have a conversation partner yet will stay alone. Or did I miss something?

I think both of you slightly misunderstood each other. You meant the people already in the room, he thought you said new people who entered.

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#59

Post by mVChr »

I avoided clicking this link at first as I was expecting to groan at the shmoozy BS inside. I was pleasantly surprised to find a concrete technique that I can easily remember and apply. Thanks.

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#60

Post by onethingnew »

orthecreedence wrote: post #25
timje1 wrote: post #3

Everyone sucks at networking the first few times, and public speaking the first few times, and presentations the first few times. The exact technique you use to get over that initial bump is probably not as important as just trying it a few times..

As an introvert, this is wrong. Example: everyone sucks at rocket science the first few times. But maybe if I try one more time... It actually really helps to get pointers like these. Something like "focus your efforts on groups of two" can give you a) a lifeline and b) something to look forward to rather than dreading the occasion...and having that "this may be fun" mindset can take you that much further. I know a f…

I am so glad you found this story helpful. This advice made a world of difference to me, and frankly I'm still surprised it worked so well. I hope it helps others too!
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