How I Learned to Work a Room
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How I Learned to Work a Room
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Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#2The language here of "working on a room" is a little bit unnerving, but he's right. If you want to meet new people and have interesting conversations, I've had similar experiences like this which I've enjoyed.
Furthermore, interrupting a conversation at an event like the one he describes with the question, "so what are we talking about?" after you've gotten their attention is a good way to find something to talk about, too, which isn't just the standard, "so what do you do?"
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#3Everyone sucks at networking the first few times, and public speaking the first few times, and presentations the first few times. The exact technique you use to get over that initial bump is probably not as important as just trying it a few times..
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#4I tend to introversion, and networking in a room filled with people wears me out faster than just about anything else.
So, given that my social energy is limited, here's what I do:
* Have a concrete goal for each event, things like: small talk with 5 random people, elevator pitch to Jane, get contact details to follow up with Jim and Mo, etc.
* Step out of unproductive/negative chats asap - "excuse me, I need to make a call/ check email / catch Bob before he leaves"
* For longer events, take regular smoke breaks (even though I don't smoke)
* Leave (politely) as soon as goals are achieved or as soon as I'm worn out
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#5The language here of "working on a room" is a little bit unnerving, but he's right. If you want to meet new people and have interesting conversations, I've had similar experiences like this which I've enjoyed. Furthermore, interrupting a conversation at an event like the one he describes with the question, "so what are we talking about?" after you've gotten their attention is a good way to find something to talk abou…
Should be "she's right" (Kimberly)
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#6I tend to introversion, and networking in a room filled with people wears me out faster than just about anything else. So, given that my social energy is limited, here's what I do: * Have a concrete goal for each event, things like: small talk with 5 random people, elevator pitch to Jane, get contact details to follow up with Jim and Mo, etc. * Step out of unproductive/negative chats asap - "excuse me, I need to make…
Your point of exiting negative chats is a very good one. The instinct (for me, anyway) is to double down and try to fight it out, which is a waste of time for everyone involved.
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#7Quoth the server: Infinite loop detected in JError
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#8The site is having some troubles. Here is a cached version: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:hlQH57j...
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#9There was a time when talking to others in a crowded room filled me with fear to the extend that words flowed out of my mouth in ways that does not make any sense even to myself. I spoke gibberish and if you had the misfortune of talking to me, you would probably find an excuse to get away.
I hated the idea of going to social events. At every event, I felt that I was the stupidest person in the room and that nobody would want to talk to me. Meeting people seemed like a waste of time.
One day, something snapped. I figured that instead of wasting time at social events, I might as well learn something. I reflected on my social experiences and realized that because of my inherent fear of being looked down upon, I had the habit of pretending to understand things that in reality I had no clue. So I made it a point to speak a little as possible and instead focus on listening and always ask questions if I did not understand something.
I always made it a point to be asking questions and most importantly, never pretending to understand something I don't. Conversations usually flows like this: What do you do? What exactly does that mean? Big data? How big? How is big data different from normal data? ...
Gradually, I started to understand what people are actually saying. I started to feel the wide spectrum of work that people do. I started to internalize differing opinions within similar industries and then voicing these opinions to others in similar fields. I started to take sides and participate in debates. Conversations became more intelligent and social events transformed into a heaven for intellectual stimulation.
Like reading Hacker News in the middle of the night, socializing can become addicting. There is so much knowledge out there and every time I go out I learn something new. If there was one lesson I learned throughout my transformation, it would be to focus on listening and understanding others.
Re: How I Learned to Work a Room
#10There was a time when talking to others in a crowded room filled me with fear to the extend that words flowed out of my mouth in ways that does not make any sense even to myself. I spoke gibberish and if you had the misfortune of talking to me, you would probably find an excuse to get away. I hated the idea of going to social events. At every event, I felt that I was the stupidest person in the room and that nobody w…
I have this fear either. I'll try your tips.