I am going to answer here so I address everyone from one single place (some sort of DRY for answers)
Web development has not become the equivalent of software development. There are multiple other areas, Web development is currently a good entry point for self tough people, but not the only either. I know a lot of people that start with VBA macros in Excel.
Let me put it this way: I learned how to change the brake pads in my car. Then I decided that I was going to change the brake pads in 100 different car brands and models, so I did. Can I call my self a car mechanic? Nope, not even a brake specialist because I am forgetting a lot of other pieces and mechanism. But I can make a career out of it, fast brake maintenance.
Now I see someone that has the stamina, the admirable dedication to actually go through it, so I see someone that has the ability to go much further than the average guy. Tease her, give her some pointers and directions, if she likes challenges, challenge her to go more out there.
It is easy to sit back and clap at an accomplishment, and is no small accomplishment in this case. But she is thirsty for more, challenge her to more!!!... unless you don't know where that more is because the belief that web development is all there is to it
Some areas of web design is programming... JavaScript, server side, and a long etc certainly are. HTML is document painting. It is important, it requires some serious skills, skills that for that matter I don't have, but HTML is not programming because there are no conditionals, no loops. The basics building blocks in programming are those. If this hurts, I am honestly sorry, but you have 2 options, either react in anger (which is a secondary feeling, and you need to see what feeling is the primary), or research what else is there and maybe you will learn a thing or 2. HTML plus JavaScript it is programming, HTML and some CSS can be stretched to call it programming
Elitist? Confusing with "Computer Scientist"? I was just giving some pointers into other areas of software development. I did not mention Discrete mathematics, set theory, compiler construction, semantic analysis, etc, etc, etc. Those are areas for a Computer Scientist, and putting her against that can become discouraging instead of challenging, but then again, another computer scientist would have known that, wouldn't he?
If all that you see about Rich is Datatomic and Clojure, then you are missing a lot. Simple vs. Easy is more what I am talking about, or functions as the thing that make data time travel, aha! that can change the way you think about software development. That is programming BBQ, not HTML salad.
If you don't know what I am talking about... Google meet my friend here, friend meet Google. If there is something where she is above is that she took a challenge and meet it
What the original article did is nothing short of amazing... so much accomplished, so much stamina, so much potential. She claim that she wants to jump off... well, I mention a few pools where she can dive in
And finally... what is the difference between a jerk and tough love? can you recognize when you see it? There is really no absolute answer, but if you write it and read it back, you have a chance to see the color of the glasses that are in front of your eyes