How do I find and identify brilliant and positive people?
The 10 commandments for happiness and success
31–40 of 120 posts
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#322/ Only surround yourself with brilliant and positive people. I partly agree with this rule. People who are negative drama-creators who regularly make bad decisions can really drag you down. They can cause you to spend an excessive amount of time worrying about pointless problems that only exist because of someone else's immaturity. But I'm also a teacher. I work with at-risk children who are immature and sometimes m…
I was hoping that you were going to critique the need to surround yourself with "positive people".
There's obviously a lot to be said for not surrounding yourself with pessimists, but (in the US, anyway, and silicon valley, in particular), the default personality type tends to be "optimism to the point of delusion". It's just as problematic to overdose on positive thinking as it is being surrounded by pessimists.
Optimism is like sugar: it's great and you need it, but if you eat too much of it you'll only get sick. And just like sugar, the average US diet already has plenty.
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#33Commandments for happiness. Hmm, okay ^_^ From my experiences, these spring up as the big ones I'd mention: 1. Learn to be happy with your own company before you seek a relationship. People who want to be your emotional crutches are generally bad for your growth in the long run, and being able to be happy on your own will help you get out if the other person becomes abusive. 2. Don't have a totally unbalanced investm…
Created an account just to thank you for your thoughtful, interesting post.
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#34Earlier quoted context omitted.
There are a lot of blog posts out there, many of which refer to peer-reviewed literature (or at least to news articles about peer reviewed literature). This is one of the best IMO: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/09/10-things-you-need-to-know... A lot of it aligns with what you might consider "common sense": exercise a sense of purpose and meaning (can be religion-based, but doesn't have to be) meaningful work gratitu…
That list contains a lot of good advice. However, I did pause at: 3) Money isn’t going to make you much happier. It might make you unhappier. It's true that above a certain point, money doesn't correlate much with happiness. People are terrible at affective forecasting, so most rich people don't spend their money on things that will make them happy. If you are wealthy, see the paper "If money doesn't make you happy,…
This is a great read, much more interesting than the original article.
Thanks for the link.
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#35I enjoyed the post but there is one sentence I can't understand:
> 2/ Only surround yourself with brilliant and positive people. Negative and mediocre people are everywhere and their influence on you can be devastating.
The thing is that I'm potentially one of those "mediocre" people and I don't see why my influence should be devastating.
For instance, what is wrong about being negative? Not that my days are about it but, when I find myself thinking about the society we've built, I feel depressed and helplessness. Our society runs on poverty, climate change, INC governments, wars. We got to a point where some perpetuate violence on people and animals for living.
Not only that but from a certain perspective, I've a reason to think about myself as a mediocre person, cause I managed to get lot of good things from life, including a fun job but I'm not the "cool kid" and, as such, I think I'm quite a mediocre guy.
So my question is as follows, what are you suggesting here: the best way to avoid any negativity get to you, is to eliminate these gloomy people from your life ?
Sounds more a strategy for distraction.
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#36I will share my two cents, how I overcome my depression. It sounds deadly simple, and it sort of is.
1) regular excercise. Make some small, daily routine (I prefer running) and stick to it. The endorphines work wonders. The body starts feeling good after a few days.
2) (and this will be maybe controversial due to The religious undertones) regular meditation. While excercise clears your body, meditation clears your mind. Maybe it's not "really" doing anything and it's just a placebo, but frankly, it doesn't really matter. What I do is zen meditation (of soto school), which is basically just staring to wall for 20 minutes a day.... and it helps wonders.
So yeah.... those two commandments help me. Your mileage may vary.
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#37I enjoyed the post but there is one sentence I can't understand: > 2/ Only surround yourself with brilliant and positive people. Negative and mediocre people are everywhere and their influence on you can be devastating. The thing is that I'm potentially one of those "mediocre" people and I don't see why my influence should be devastating. For instance, what is wrong about being negative? Not that my days are about it…
If you think of yourself as mediocre, then you'll be mediocre- people that think negatively about themselves are no fun to be around.
There is a difference between the ability to critically analyze yourself and thinking of yourself negatively.
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#38I enjoyed the post but there is one sentence I can't understand: > 2/ Only surround yourself with brilliant and positive people. Negative and mediocre people are everywhere and their influence on you can be devastating. The thing is that I'm potentially one of those "mediocre" people and I don't see why my influence should be devastating. For instance, what is wrong about being negative? Not that my days are about it…
This may be based on Law 10 of the 48 Laws of Power.
"You can die from someone else’s misery. Emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead."
– Robert Greene / 48 Laws of Power
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#39I will share my two cents, how I overcome my depression. It sounds deadly simple, and it sort of is. 1) regular excercise. Make some small, daily routine (I prefer running) and stick to it. The endorphines work wonders. The body starts feeling good after a few days. 2) (and this will be maybe controversial due to The religious undertones) regular meditation. While excercise clears your body, meditation clears your mi…
I really don't get the anti-religion sentiment here. If you find in religious teachings a way to live happily, productively, in a socially positive way, why is that a problem or anything to apologize for?
Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success
#40There is no mediocre people???? Unless you like to be a ranking jerk with no friends. Seriously some of the most amazing people I have meet were "mediocre"