Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The 10 commandments for happiness and success

chentir.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

21–30 of 120 posts

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#21

Post by ggreer »

theorique wrote: post #13
WalterGR wrote: post #10

Does anyone know of any good meta-analyses of studies about happiness / life satisfaction? Or put another way: what does actual research suggest the "commandments" for happiness are?

There are a lot of blog posts out there, many of which refer to peer-reviewed literature (or at least to news articles about peer reviewed literature). This is one of the best IMO: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/09/10-things-you-need-to-know... A lot of it aligns with what you might consider "common sense": exercise a sense of purpose and meaning (can be religion-based, but doesn't have to be) meaningful work gratitu…

That list contains a lot of good advice. However, I did pause at:

3) Money isn’t going to make you much happier. It might make you unhappier.

It's true that above a certain point, money doesn't correlate much with happiness. People are terrible at affective forecasting, so most rich people don't spend their money on things that will make them happy.

If you are wealthy, see the paper "If money doesn't make you happy, then you probably aren't spending it right" for some ideas on how to purchase hedons: http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~dtg/DUNN%20GILBERT%20&%20WILSON%...

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#22

Post by eksith »

6d0debc071 wrote: post #9

Commandments for happiness. Hmm, okay ^_^ From my experiences, these spring up as the big ones I'd mention: 1. Learn to be happy with your own company before you seek a relationship. People who want to be your emotional crutches are generally bad for your growth in the long run, and being able to be happy on your own will help you get out if the other person becomes abusive. 2. Don't have a totally unbalanced investm…

This is a fantastic list. Thank you!

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#23

Post by lotharbot »

2/ Only surround yourself with brilliant and positive people.

I partly agree with this rule. People who are negative drama-creators who regularly make bad decisions can really drag you down. They can cause you to spend an excessive amount of time worrying about pointless problems that only exist because of someone else's immaturity.

But I'm also a teacher. I work with at-risk children who are immature and sometimes make bad decisions -- exactly the kind of people this rule says to stay away from, only they're 9 years old instead of 35. And being around them makes me very happy -- because of the difference I can make for them. I find it unfortunate that people sometimes fear "negativity" and "immaturity" so much that they let themselves be scared away from rewarding opportunities.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#25

Post by x0054 »

lotharbot wrote: post #23

2/ Only surround yourself with brilliant and positive people. I partly agree with this rule. People who are negative drama-creators who regularly make bad decisions can really drag you down. They can cause you to spend an excessive amount of time worrying about pointless problems that only exist because of someone else's immaturity. But I'm also a teacher. I work with at-risk children who are immature and sometimes m…

I think the author is talking about people you choose to have in your life, people you would consider taking advice from and talking about your problems with. The 9 year olds in your profession probably provide very rewarding relationship, and they are people you can help. But they are hardly your "friends."

If you were to surround your self with a bunch of 30 something neurotics who all needed your help, and it was not part of your job to help these people, then you would be in trouble.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#26

Post by aaron695 »

WalterGR wrote: post #10

Does anyone know of any good meta-analyses of studies about happiness / life satisfaction? Or put another way: what does actual research suggest the "commandments" for happiness are?

This was a real good talk I saw on the science of happiness. How it is as a video not sure.

http://www.psy.uq.edu.au/activity/media.html?mid=35

Some points from memory - Pets are good (Dogs beat cats). Wage matters. Friends beat family (Not sure if this talk mentions this) Money can buy happiness by buying experiences(Not things) and when you spend it on others. Long commuting time to work is bad. (IE A big house in the suburbs sucks)

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#27

Post by crassus »

I disagree with the dichotomy between living a "default life" and being happy[1]. Maybe in America where society is so atomized and culture is so dead this is true, but this is not true everywhere. It is an American sickness that says you must work your way to happiness, that happiness comes at the end of a chain of accomplishments.

What more is needed to be happy but friends, family, and enough to get by? Honestly, I think living in a culture with a strong sense of itself and its purpose is more important than any of the author's points, but people living in America wouldn't know what that feels like.

All of what makes America terrible and most of what makes it successful is the puritan ancestry of its institutions. More and more Americans are skipping having families. Why? Because it would interfere with their career. Translated: they want to work more. In an effort to work their way into heaven, they ignore heaven's gifts.

I know a lot of people that follow the author's advice, or try to (I can guess which cultural milieu this is coming from). They are all stressed out trying to save the world or something and nervous about failing (commandment number 3 is like saying "don't get cold in the winter").

[1] http://www.theonion.com/articles/unambitious-loser-with-happ...

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#28

Post by lkbm »

eksith wrote: post #6

Great advice, but... "Don’t compare yourself to others" I've repeatedly found this to be near-impossible. It's just that no matter what standard I've set for myself, just the fact that I see someone doing better automatically makes me think I'm doing something wrong and/or I'm not good enough. That may not be the case, but that's the default thought for me and only after do I actually look into it. What's worse is th…

I do feel like a lot of these articles tend to tell you to do stuff you already know you should, but provide very little insight into how to go about doing it--don't compare yourself to others, embrace failure, don't be afraid to disappoint others...this is all easier said than done. I know all this. I need strategies to help achieve them.

That said, just being regularly reminded that these are things to strive helps internalize them. This will help us keep an eye out to catch ourselves and try to correct when we compare ourselves to others.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#29

Post by justinpombrio »

dbecker wrote: post #15
jafaku wrote: post #2

> Have strong values and stick to them, no matter what. What if someone shows me evidence, a better reasoning, or anything I didn't know, that goes against one of my values? I disagree with this point.

You are interpreting the word "value" very narrowly. For instance, one could hold a value of relying on evidence rather than preconceived notions.

Until someone showed strong evidence that those relying on preconceived notions were right more often than those relying on evidence. Then one'd be stuck ;-)

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#30

Post by ericgoldberg »

WalterGR wrote: post #10

Does anyone know of any good meta-analyses of studies about happiness / life satisfaction? Or put another way: what does actual research suggest the "commandments" for happiness are?

There are a few TED talks, including from the 2012 Life Hacks series, that partly address the issue of happiness.
Post reply on HN