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The 10 commandments for happiness and success

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Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#3

Post by brugidou »

jafaku wrote: post #2

> Have strong values and stick to them, no matter what. What if someone shows me evidence, a better reasoning, or anything I didn't know, that goes against one of my values? I disagree with this point.

Your values have nothing to do with evidence, reasoning and/or facts. You can change your opinion, increase your knowledge, admit you were wrong about facts but this won't change your values.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#4

Post by soora »

One concept that I think is hard to grasp, and makes taking this sort of advice hard to apply, is just how much our default happiness is biologically hard coded.

For this reason I view the point about exercise and eating healthy to be the most important one on the list.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#5

Post by Amokrane »

soora wrote: post #4

One concept that I think is hard to grasp, and makes taking this sort of advice hard to apply, is just how much our default happiness is biologically hard coded. For this reason I view the point about exercise and eating healthy to be the most important one on the list.

I have read a book on this subject: http://www.amazon.fr/The-How-Happiness-Approach-Getting/dp/0.... The author wrote that happiness was defined at 50% by our genes, 10% by circumstances and 40% by intentional activities. I guess that's a non-negligible proportion we could act on.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#6

Post by eksith »

Great advice, but... "Don’t compare yourself to others" I've repeatedly found this to be near-impossible. It's just that no matter what standard I've set for myself, just the fact that I see someone doing better automatically makes me think I'm doing something wrong and/or I'm not good enough. That may not be the case, but that's the default thought for me and only after do I actually look into it.

What's worse is that not only is it totally the wrong attitude, I know that it's the wrong attitude. It's very disheartening.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#8

Post by shire »

2/ Only surround yourself with brilliant and positive people.

this really touched me, most of my friends are always negative and angry and sad to say but my family is also dysfunctional which at times leads me to being stressed and upset as well. It's hard to cut people off who are your family and friends though.

Re: The 10 commandments for happiness and success

#9

Post by 6d0debc071 »

Commandments for happiness. Hmm, okay ^_^

From my experiences, these spring up as the big ones I'd mention:

1. Learn to be happy with your own company before you seek a relationship. People who want to be your emotional crutches are generally bad for your growth in the long run, and being able to be happy on your own will help you get out if the other person becomes abusive.

2. Don't have a totally unbalanced investment in any one person, group or activity. Doing so makes you very vulnerable and makes failure in that area devastating for no commensurate increase in happiness.

3. Find people you can listen to, and who are interested in some of the same sort of things that you are. Listen to these people if you honestly trust them or leave them if you don't. If your friends are honest, sometimes they'll hurt you in warning you off of things or people. This is worth it - don't get so lost in your own ego that you lose all tough with reality, in the long run that will hurt more.

4. Get enough high-quality sleep. Not all sleep is good, even if you manage to pass out. Silence and as near to total darkness as you can get are pretty much prerequisites to waking up refreshed. A comfortable bed that properly supports you is also worthwhile. I've had friends who've gone off of depression medication by virtue of changing their beds and buying some blackout blinds. Just -- check that sort of thing first if you're having problems.

5. Do things with others. Archery, dancing, swimming, martial arts, paint-balling, painting, singing, etc. It gives you a chance to discover new passions and gets you in contact with a wider variety of friends in situations where you can form lasting relationships.

6. Smile at people. A smile is a gift you give to everyone around you, and it's free to the giver. It also seems to be linked to areas of our brains that make us feel happy even if we don't really feel that happy inside at the time. And seeing people smile back is nice.

7. Learn to look for the potential positives in things and phrase everything that you can in terms of positives rather than negatives. Few people like little storm-clouds dooming and glooming over them - in my experience, even in my own head, having a different spin on things makes me happier. You can make yourself very lonely just on the strength of choosing a specific phrasing.

8. This may not be for everyone, but: Teach. Not necessarily in a school environment. It can be incredibly rewarding to see a younger girl smile at the program she's just written, celebrate her first job, or (I gather from my boyfriend,) a young man make his first bit of woodwork.

9. Learn to recognise when you're boring people. This is, I gather, initially a rather depressing skill - but if you persevere you can find people who actually like being around you, or moderate your egoism somewhat, and that tends to be more rewarding.

10. Caring for others can let you be at least partially happy about some things that you might be sad about. A social form of hedging your bets. When the weather is blisteringly hot, for instance, I remind myself that Ellen (one of my friends) likes putting her washing out and sunbathing on the weekends and that makes me smile.

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