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Stay-at-home dad

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Re: Stay-at-home dad

#191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Why is it that we as a society are so fucking fearful? We have an irrational fear of communists, socialists, terrorists, serial killers, sex offenders, and of course, child molesters and abductors. 1) Because due to egotism, greed and lack of communal values, we have fucked up normal operation of society, and they are indeed are more prevalent than they were. 2) Because of watching them all the time in "entertainme…

Do yourself a favour and take a cold shower or perhaps seek help. Because the sheer volume of crazy, conspiracy theories in your post is not normal.

>Do yourself a favour and take a cold shower or perhaps seek help.

Do yourself (and everybody else) a favour and learn manners.

After that, you could try improving your reading comprehension skills. There was not even one "conspiracy theory" in my post, let alone an "above normal" volume of them.

Here's a breakdown for you:

>1) Because due to egotism, greed and lack of communal values, we have fucked up normal operation of society, and they are indeed are more prevalent than they were.

The first part of this is what is called social critique. You may agree or disagree with it, but it's not a "conspiracy theory" (except if you don't know what the latter means and use it willy nilly).

The second part is quantifiable and confirmed beyond doubt. In the US there are more homicides, mass shootings, serial killers etc, not to mention incarcerations, than anywhere in the so called Western world. You can look that up. There are also more than they used to be in the decades before the 80's.

>2) Because of watching them all the time in "entertainment", thus creating the impression that they are even more than the already too many that they are.

Another example of so called "social critique". Watching too much news and TV series, can make people believe serial killers, pedophiles, murders etc are more common than they already are.

This sounds like a ...conspiracy theory to you? Seriously?

>3) Because it's a good racket in order to sell "protection", a trillion dollar business, from politicians passing all the more extreme laws, to surveillance, to arms business, etc.

That would be a "conspiracy theory" if it wasn't common and acceptable knowledge.

You've never heard of the government, law officials, party media etc, play the "security card" or overstate some cases (like the importance of "hacking" or "piracy") to pass more laws, favour businesses etc?

Or even start whole (profitable for some) wars, in order to save people from (non existent) WMDs?

Have you even been paying attention to the whole security hoopla this past month, with the agencies using the safety excuse to tap into everyone's data?

>4) Because people themselves have stiffened up and treat other people like enemies even in casual urban situations, and treat their kids like they're prisoners for their own "safety".

Another case of "social critique". You might agree or disagree, but you'll find volumes of research on the issue. And not in the "conspiracy theory" section of the bookstore. Try "Sociology".

It's very sad that the level of discourse in HN has come (for some) to "take a cold shower" and "get help".

If I'm allowed a little snark, may I interest you to this Reddit site?

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dude, do you even hear what you are saying? Women being required/pressured to stay home and look after the family while men gather political power and control the flow of resources is one of the hallmarks of a patriarchal society. For example, Western societies in the past, and, to a lesser extent now, were like china in this regard, and are almost universally considered more patriarchal as we go further into the pas…

> Women being required/pressured to stay home and look after the family You obviously have no idea what you are talking about! Most (95%) women work here, there are no such things as stay at home moms (maybe stay at home grandparents...). Women make up around 60% of the small business owners here, possibly more, they are highly represented in most every field with a few hold outs (e.g. security guards and taxi driver…

67% according to http://www.tradingeconomics.com/china/labor-participation-ra.... And that's without even discussing the quality of jobs people are getting, or the gender pay gap within particular jobs (30% in china, woo, matriarchy!). I find it hard to believe your statistic that women make up the majority of small business owners when they participate in the workforce lower rates than men, but perhaps you have a citation?

I really don't know how you can defend china as an egalitarian society, much less a matriarchal one, considering their problems with sex selective abortion and infanticide among female babies, to say nothing of the labor issues I just presented. I guess you must have just chosen a position and you are going to ignore or twist whatever inconvenient facts contradict it.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not quite so sure that this is a 1st world thing necessarily. It think it's more of an American thing. During our last vacation in Europe, I was surprised by how people, even at random rest stops along the autobahn were interacting with my kids and did not feel threatened or run off with their kids b/c I was the one taking the kids to the play area. (Albeit, I wasn't the only father/male there) All things being e…

It does happen in European countries. A few years ago, there was a big pedophilia case involving a male day care worker who had made over 80 victims over the year. Ever since then, male day care workers get confronted with suspicion and distrust from parents - especially homosexual male day care workers - and have major trouble getting a job. A lot quit the job. Men working with children are being increasingly distru…

The patriarchy affects all of us negatively. The sexism here is in favor of keeping women in the home and the men anywhere else (preferably in positions of power). Any person not falling into their respective gender role prescribed by these rules will be punished.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#194
post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why is it that we as a society are so fucking fearful? If you ask me? Because we are hard-wired for fear. Ten thousand years ago, it kept you alive. Today, there is not much left to fear- but we are built to fear, so we find something to fear.

the fear of a pedophile going to kidnap/abduct/molest your kids doesn't happen in other societies today though, so there must be some influence from the differing media, I'm sure. It doesn't make much sense in the world I live in (Asian country).

Right, but I'd bet other societies have their own crazy fears.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#195

I remember when I was a very young dad, and 15 minutes with my very young son was torture. I see myself in much of what he tells. Much of it by imagining the now dad of a 10yo as a dad of 4 months old son. But there's one thing I can tell for sure. A father can not replace a mother. I wouldn't take offense if a woman asked me why isn't my wife taking care of the child. In the past 10 years there were countless cases…

It's sad that the top HN comment on this story is sexist bullshit. But I guess not unexpected. But sad.

You could reply to it, countering anything that you believe to be false.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#196
post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If he actually said those words, I think I'd be even more creaped out. Who jokes about kidnapping?

Anyone but a kidnapper, I'd say.

Isn't it almost cliche to joke about your true self. Regardless, still a creapy thing to say to the parent of a toddler.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#197
post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You received a rejection letter that basically lists illegal reasons (in most states I'm aware of) for rejecting you. You were lucky not to get that job, as the boss is clueless about the legal responsibilities of hiring supervisors. You have a basis for a lawsuit there, if you need the money or want to make a point. If you are not litigious (I am not litigious either, so I respect anyone's decision to decline to exe…

Assuming that having a clue about legal responsibilities of hiring supervisors is the most important skill of a boss :-) I think it is good if somebody is honest. And his reasoning actually seems sound.

What exactly about it seems reasonable? He's making assumptions about my dedication based on the fact that I have a family. From that alone he really has no idea how many hours I would be willing to put in, how dedicated I'd be to the business, or how hard I'd hustle for him.

The only thing that seemed reasonable to me was wanting to work with someone that could physically be there with him at the program. If that were the sole reason for going with someone else over me I'd have understood perfectly. Instead he's basing his decision on weak anecdotal evidence. He worked with one other family guy that wasn't as dedicated to the business as he himself was and he came to the conclusion that the family part was what was holding him back from being a better partner. That doesn't strike me as sound reasoning at all.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#198
post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Assuming: 150k/yr salary * 0.5 (paid leave) * .33 (4 months) =$24750 for just raising a kid, damn. To be the devil's advocate, why not let people who do not have children take a 4 month paid ($24750) vacation every 5 years? I would like to take a round-the-world vacation for 4 months...

Because promoting round-the-world vacations isn't the business the government is in, but promoting good families is.

TFA said that Facebook paid it his parental leave. If FB thinks it is worth it to retain him as an employee, it's their money.

The US government on the other hand seriously doesn't give a fuck about families since most of their programs are oriented to single mothers. Also there is no federally mandated parental leave http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Women being required/pressured to stay home and look after the family You obviously have no idea what you are talking about! Most (95%) women work here, there are no such things as stay at home moms (maybe stay at home grandparents...). Women make up around 60% of the small business owners here, possibly more, they are highly represented in most every field with a few hold outs (e.g. security guards and taxi driver…

67% according to http://www.tradingeconomics.com/china/labor-participation-ra... . And that's without even discussing the quality of jobs people are getting, or the gender pay gap within particular jobs (30% in china, woo, matriarchy!). I find it hard to believe your statistic that women make up the majority of small business owners when they participate in the workforce lower rates than men, but perhaps you have a c…

Is that official or does it also include gray market numbers? Also, remember women retire at 55 in China, compared to men at 60.

I told my wife what you said, she had a good laugh about it.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

67% according to http://www.tradingeconomics.com/china/labor-participation-ra... . And that's without even discussing the quality of jobs people are getting, or the gender pay gap within particular jobs (30% in china, woo, matriarchy!). I find it hard to believe your statistic that women make up the majority of small business owners when they participate in the workforce lower rates than men, but perhaps you have a c…

Is that official or does it also include gray market numbers? Also, remember women retire at 55 in China, compared to men at 60. I told my wife what you said, she had a good laugh about it.

Oh, I'm glad your anecdote had a good laugh at my data. We should also query your anecdote what she thinks about medicine and call her answer science. That would totally be an effective way to arrive at true results.
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