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Stay-at-home dad

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Re: Stay-at-home dad

#181

Post by jamesjguthrie »

yaddayadda wrote: post #162
qznc wrote: post #30

Odd that stay-at-home women label themselves as "not working". I often try to convince my wife and others to proudly answer "mother" when asked for their work. It might not get payed, but it surely is a lot of work.

My first day of school (early 70's) the teacher asked something along the lines of "What do your parents do?". When I got home that afternoon my mom (a stay-at-home mom) asked about my first day of school, and I told her about that question. Of course she wanted to know what my answer was. For the 40 years since, I've suffered frequently for saying that she didn't work. ;)

My mum always told me to tell people she was a 'domestic engineer' lol

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#182

Post by seanmcdirmid »

jamesaguilar wrote: post #173
seanmcdirmid wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Leaders of the country are male. Leaders of the family are female. Your point?

Dude, do you even hear what you are saying? Women being required/pressured to stay home and look after the family while men gather political power and control the flow of resources is one of the hallmarks of a patriarchal society. For example, Western societies in the past, and, to a lesser extent now, were like china in this regard, and are almost universally considered more patriarchal as we go further into the pas…

> Women being required/pressured to stay home and look after the family

You obviously have no idea what you are talking about! Most (95%) women work here, there are no such things as stay at home moms (maybe stay at home grandparents...). Women make up around 60% of the small business owners here, possibly more, they are highly represented in most every field with a few hold outs (e.g. security guards and taxi drivers).

Obviously it is different in politics, but I have no experience there at any rate, just in the home lives that you seem to know more about than me for some reason. The concept of feminism is foreign here not because the men are macho, but because the women hold much of the family and economic power already.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#183

Post by tigroferoce »

I envy you Tom. As a working-(too-much)-father, I work more than I see my kids and I feel like I'm losing something big.

As others I radically reshapes my carrer when my first daughter was born leaving unsafe research field for the safer and higher paid industry. While I'm pretty OK where I work now, I miss so much the freedom in terms of working hours and time tables. I'd like to find a job where I could spend more time with my kids, even at the price of a lower wage.

Best and good luck for you coming back to work (BTW, the next months will be WAY more physically exhausting).

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#184

Post by tigroferoce »

jasonlotito wrote: post #91
techboots wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. Coworkers definitely drag you down - especially those who game the benefits system or who play politics. If you don't see this, wake up and look around your cubicle. And yes, if having a kid grants you 4 months of paid leave... it will definitely feel like punishment for the rest of the single guys stuck in the office. I have a dog and cat I need to take care of. If you get to leave to take care of your kid, I s…

> If you get to leave to take care of your kid, I should get to leave to take care of my pets. You can. Suggesting otherwise is a flat out lie. > especially those who game the benefits system or who play politics. You mean those that take what's offered to them? So… You don't take pay? You don't vacation? I mean, we already know you don't think you can leave. And, maybe the bigger problem is you don't see why compani…

This vacation consideration is interesting. Do coworkers that go on vacation also drag you down? What about ill people? Are you saying you would like working only with single healthy people? Don't you feel like you would be losing smart guys that may want to go on holiday time to time or would like a family? Or your work is so simple that anyone can do repetitively for hours and hours and hours without stop - a work that does not require the smartest people, but the more-workhorse people perhaps?

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#185

Post by Cthulhu_ »

Killah911 wrote: post #146
adrianbye wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

this doesn't happen in non feminist countries (ie usually 3rd world).

I'm not quite so sure that this is a 1st world thing necessarily. It think it's more of an American thing. During our last vacation in Europe, I was surprised by how people, even at random rest stops along the autobahn were interacting with my kids and did not feel threatened or run off with their kids b/c I was the one taking the kids to the play area. (Albeit, I wasn't the only father/male there) All things being e…

It does happen in European countries. A few years ago, there was a big pedophilia case involving a male day care worker who had made over 80 victims over the year. Ever since then, male day care workers get confronted with suspicion and distrust from parents - especially homosexual male day care workers - and have major trouble getting a job. A lot quit the job. Men working with children are being increasingly distrusted every time a new case like that pops up. It's blatant sexism, but understandable to a degree.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#186

Post by waylandsmithers »

techboots wrote: post #21

Looks like FB jumped the shark if they're employing guys who leave for 4 months, or gals like Sheryl Sandberg who leaves work 5pm every day. I get it - yes, it's nice and wonderful. But... Frankly, I wouldn't want to work with coworkers like this. Entrepreneurs don't make silly justifications like this -- only employees play this political game. And quite frankly, I wouldn't put up with actions like this - I'd quit i…

>>Hey, just because I don't have a kid, doesn't mean I shouldn't get time off - why punish me for that. Not fair.

I think the main message we can learn from this comment (which I think is mostly written in jest in playing devil's advocate) is: You worry about you, and only you. Yeah, maybe it's annoying that smokers can take a break every few hours to go hang out outside, and you get "punished" for not being a smoker. Everyone's situation is different. Mind your own god damn business.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#187

Post by jasonlotito »

tigroferoce wrote: post #184
jasonlotito wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you get to leave to take care of your kid, I should get to leave to take care of my pets. You can. Suggesting otherwise is a flat out lie. > especially those who game the benefits system or who play politics. You mean those that take what's offered to them? So… You don't take pay? You don't vacation? I mean, we already know you don't think you can leave. And, maybe the bigger problem is you don't see why compani…

This vacation consideration is interesting. Do coworkers that go on vacation also drag you down? What about ill people? Are you saying you would like working only with single healthy people? Don't you feel like you would be losing smart guys that may want to go on holiday time to time or would like a family? Or your work is so simple that anyone can do repetitively for hours and hours and hours without stop - a work…

Pretty sure your comment wasn't meant to be a reply to mine. =) Needless to say, you make good points.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#188

Post by djt »

techboots wrote: post #21

Looks like FB jumped the shark if they're employing guys who leave for 4 months, or gals like Sheryl Sandberg who leaves work 5pm every day. I get it - yes, it's nice and wonderful. But... Frankly, I wouldn't want to work with coworkers like this. Entrepreneurs don't make silly justifications like this -- only employees play this political game. And quite frankly, I wouldn't put up with actions like this - I'd quit i…

HN, please dont feed the trolls.

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#189

Post by adrianbye »

argonaut wrote: post #164
adrianbye wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

you can see my link above to the NYtimes and the lack of research for the right in academia. there will be 10,000 papers supporting the left position to every 1 paper supporting the right position. they're just forced out of academia. this is a huge blind spot for society and is a little like how wall street wasn't prosecuted after the financial crisis. that derek freeman was successful in what he did (and he was, me…

Okay, it's pretty clear you didn't even read the articles you linked to.

of course i did. the point is that academia doesn't research the opposing viewpoint virtually at all.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/08/science/08tier.html?_r=0

"He polled his audience at the San Antonio Convention Center, starting by asking how many considered themselves politically liberal. A sea of hands appeared, and Dr. Haidt estimated that liberals made up 80 percent of the 1,000 psychologists in the ballroom. When he asked for centrists and libertarians, he spotted fewer than three dozen hands. And then, when he asked for conservatives, he counted a grand total of three.

“This is a statistically impossible lack of diversity,” Dr. Haidt concluded, noting polls showing that 40 percent of Americans are conservative and 20 percent are liberal. In his speech and in an interview, Dr. Haidt argued that social psychologists are a “tribal-moral community” united by “sacred values” that hinder research and damage their credibility — and blind them to the hostile climate they’ve created for non-liberals."

Re: Stay-at-home dad

#190

Post by [deleted] »

adrianbye wrote: post #189
argonaut wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Okay, it's pretty clear you didn't even read the articles you linked to.

of course i did. the point is that academia doesn't research the opposing viewpoint virtually at all. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/08/science/08tier.html?_r=0 "He polled his audience at the San Antonio Convention Center, starting by asking how many considered themselves politically liberal. A sea of hands appeared, and Dr. Haidt estimated that liberals made up 80 percent of the 1,000 psychologists in the ballroom.…

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