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We were wrong

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411–420 of 546 posts

Re: We were wrong

#411
post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's sarcasm, dumbass.

It's pretty poorly done sarcasm, as many others didn't believe it either, asshole.

Sarcasm means you're not supposed to believe it. You were right the first five times you read it; you should have stopped there. I don't see any way in which this sarcasm was done poorly.

Re: We were wrong

#412
post #107

Dear fellow HN dwellers, If you read the writings of the Guide's author and do not recognize that it is misogynistic and advocating sexual assault, you have a problem. That problem is that you are mistaking sexual assault for "taking the first step." You do not need to resort to pulling out your dick and forcibly placing the woman's hand on it in order to "make a move." There's literally hundreds of other things that…

"I thought this was obvious but I have already read all the comments in this thread and all the "context" the excusers are providing. If you think pointing me to that again is refuting my points, then you didn't understand what I wrote."

There's a difference between understanding and agreeing. Just because somebody doesn't agree with your flawed, poorly thought out emotion based opinion doesn't mean they don't understand where it comes from. You're doing what so many people accuse conservative christians of doing - you're trying to silence a dissenting opinion because it makes you feel bad. That makes you an authoritarian of the worst sort; the kind that would gladly burn any book you find offensive.

Re: We were wrong

#413
Here is an entire quote from one of his passages on a reddit thread:

Hi guys. First off, big props to thesacred. I went out with him yesterday and he has tons of game. Looking forward to many scandalous nights with him and others in Tokyo. He skipped the club to go attempt a threesome! Awesome!

Anyway, if you've followed my FR's recently, you've probably seen me mention the Physical Push/Pull (PPP) move I've been using. It's basically where you substitute actual physical pushes and pulls for emotional push/pulls, OR combine them with emotional push/pulls for maximum effect.

I was field testing it as an OPENER in the club yesterday and my GOD did it work. I highly recommend some of you guys try this out, but it's not for the faint of heart.

Example:

[see girl on dancefloor or near bar]

[approach]

[hook her in with your arm] "Aww you're so cute. Come here." [shove her aside HARD, seemingly randomly]

[approach someone else and say hi]

[Turn around. About 75% of the time she'll be staring at you with a huge grin on her face.]

[Walk back over to her.] "You really are so cute, you know that?"

[repeat]

This is one of those "reality destroyer" openers where girls have NO IDEA what just happened. You can open as many sets as you want throughout the club/bar this way and decide which ones you wanna pursue further at your leisure.

I did this yesterday in a dance club.

I re-open a girl by walking up, grabbing her, caveman-ing her against the wall & kissing her. Then I cast her aside and get a drink at the bar. The entire time she is staring like "OMG who is this guy?" (in a good way).

I come back to her with my drink. "Come on, let's go."

I walk her to the corner, escalate kino, smalltalk a bit. Fast forward and guess who is getting a BJ in the dark corner of the club? THIS GUY!

Gentlemen, try this out. It's not only extremely effective but it's hilariously fun. Your friends' jaws will hit the floor when they see you pull this off.

Go and do likewise, gents.

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/f6ve5/fr_tofutofu...

Re: We were wrong

#415
post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Excuse me miss may I please sit close to you and touch you? May I kiss you now? How exactly do you think people should go about this kind of thing?

1) Don't do anything that doesn't have her consent. 2) "Yes means yes" is a better slogan than "no means no." 3) Always be conscious of whether she seems comfortable or not and whether she's enjoying herself. This can be tricky, but always, always err on the side of caution. If she seems merely bored or uninterested, you should consider that a no. That's really all you need. That and volume: if someone isn't interest…

> "Yes means yes" is a better slogan than "no means no."

Maybe, but it's also very unrealistic, and I doubt very many people want it. Personally, I would prefer if women simply realized that I am attracted to them, and wouldn't explicitly ask me if I want to fuck, and I'm willing to endure the few awkward encounters where they would misread me.

Re: We were wrong

#416

This book will sell more copies now that it's been banned by Kickstarter. I'm curious how the funding was going before this, I can't imagine it was getting much traction. I quantify this as a paranoid over reaction by Kickstarter, if the post wasn't breaking any of their terms of service.

Agreed and now about a million more people will have heard about this project that otherwise probably wouldn't have. This reminds me a little of when The Last Temptation of Christ came out in the late 80's. All the bible-thumpers were screaming about how blasphemous it was and that everyone should boycot it. Which, of course, people being people they did the exact opposite and had to endure what turned out to be a pr…

Also the Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie, which due to the protests, banning by all the Islamic countries, the fatwah on the author and associated press (and this was in the days of before the Internet!)just made the sales go through the roof.

Re: We were wrong

#417
post #372
post #320

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Yes. It goes both ways, regardless of gender. Did you expect me to disagree with this? Well, the only thing I can say is that I'm glad I live in Europe, where people are still normal and not yet so frigid/distrustful that they need to talk about everything before they do it.

>Well, the only thing I can say is that I'm glad I live in Europe, where people are still normal and not yet so frigid/distrustful that they need to talk about everything before they do it. Fortunately, it's like that in the U.S. too for most people. There is a very vocal minority here that is making things way more complicated than they actually are in real life. This was my favorite quote from the person you're res…

> This is unbelievable to me. I think the typical woman confronted with this behavior would look for a new boyfriend - one that isn't so amazingly timid. As a married person I can't imagine asking my wife "regularly" for permission to have sex. I know her signals, she knows my signals and if either of us put out a signal the other person isn't up for we volunteer, "Not tonight" and that's the end of it.

See, this is the problem. It's not "timid" to talk about sex. I know my girlfriend well, and she knows me, and if we're hanging out together and we're both down to fuck then it's on.

Here's the other thing that happens: I'm in one room playing Starcraft, she's in the other room reading a book, and I start feeling a little randy. I'm not going to wander in there and try to get into her field of view to make eyes at her. If I just walk up and start touching her, and she's not into it, she'll feel irritated and I'll feel rejected and that's not good for us.

So what I do instead is -- and to be clear, this happens about as often the other way around -- I say, hey, do you want to have sex? And she thinks about it for a second, and if she says "yes" we get naked and down to business. If she says "no", no hard feelings, I can go back to my game. If it's in between, like "not really" or "maybe later", we can have a quick chat about it and come to a decision together.

Do you understand what I'm saying here? Me asking my girlfriend if she wants to have sex, and vice versa, means we have way more sex than we would if we both sat around waiting for the "signals". And we really like sex, so this is great for us.

But I guess if you're married with kids, there are other reasons you can't relate to this.

And since I'm here, rid that word "permission" from your vocabulary in this discussion. Permission is asked from a superior. Consent is a mutual arrangement between equals. Therein lies the core of this entire issue.

Re: We were wrong

#418

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Without that consent, it is assault." I hate to be contrarian, because by the standards in most cultural spaces in the US I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, but I've traveled enough to know that there are exceptions to the exceptions people are taking with this material when you take culture differences into account. The majority of women in the majority of cultural spaces we on HN frequent of are saying it…

The cultural acceptability and effectiveness of the asking for consent is incidental to the issue at stake. I honestly find it shocking that so many people on HN are having such difficulty accepting the principal of expressly verbalized consent. Surely we can move on from the notion that men need to "be dominant" and "force her to rebuff your advances". While a particular culture may call for certain shifts in attitu…

    "While a particular culture may call for certain shifts in 
    attitude, that does not mean verbalized consent is not 
    important."

Nor does it mean that verbalized consent is important or necessary. Not all human communication is verbal.

    "but I feel that Kickstarter's stance is defensible from 
    the position of not wanting to be associated with such 
    dangerous and callous material."
Do you find the financial embargo of Wikileaks by Visa, Mastercard, Paypal and Amex to be acceptable?

With centralized electronic payments and centralized crowdfunding platforms we've lost the neutrality of money and that is a threat to a free and open society.

Re: We were wrong

#419

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In fact, every woman I've talked to about the subject has told me that it's specifically unwanted. Is it so hard to believe that a woman (or man) may be uncomfortable expressly saying "No" in a given circumstance? Just because you have anecdotal evidence about woman you have talked to does not mean that we should adopt practices that those woman would like the most. If 1 in 100, 1,000, or even 10,000 people do not…

My experience is that women tend to communicate non-verbally much more than men do. For instance, if a women doesn’t like you, you probably won’t be sitting on her couch on a Friday night after having taken her out to dinner. Also: in that scenario, trying to touch your date’s shoulder or leg, or approaching to kiss her, isn’t rape. It’s an opportunity for her to let you know whether you’ve interpreted her signals co…

Isn't a culture where rape and sexual assault happens a pretty steep price to pay for the allure and romantic nature of non-verbal communication?

Most of the time, nothing bad will happen if you depend on non-verbal cues, but in the minority of times your advances may unwanted, and the person feels uncomfortably verbally rebuffing them. In these instances, assault or even rape can and_does_happen.

Simply asking for consent is hardly difficult and the insurance it provides that your partner does in fact like your advances is very valuable.

>Also: in that scenario, trying to touch your date’s shoulder or leg, or approaching to kiss her, isn’t rape. It’s an opportunity for her to let you know whether you’ve interpreted her signals correctly.

How do you know it is not rape (or assault in this circumstance)? Non-verbal queues are not infallible; without asking, you must trust your judgment. While you probably judged correctly, that does not mean it is advisable behavior to proceed without asking.

Re: We were wrong

#420
post #382

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I don't know about you, but I would prefer if things happened "naturally", without talking about it explicitly. Us sitting closer, slowly drawing our heads closer, lips touch, mouths open, kiss. I used to think that, too, as a teenager. Then I had sex with a bunch of people and realized, who gives a fuck? Sex is fun. It's fun when it happens spontaneously, with mutual passion. It's fun when it's discussed and sched…

> I'm in a committed, long-term relationship now, and I still ask her regularly if I'm not sure if she wants to. How often does she ask you ?

Per my lengthy reply above, roughly as often. It's pretty great.
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