I Know What You Think of Me • Hacker News Board

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#111

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Jun 18, 2013, 6:13 PM UTC

icebraining wrote: post #91

stephengillie wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hesitate to quote Ayn Rand, but it's fitting: "Mr. Roark, we’re alone here. Why don’t you tell me what you think of me? In any words you wish. No one will hear us." "But I don’t think of you." -Ellsworth Toohey and Howard Roark, The Fountainhead , Ayn Rand

"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person." -- Mark Twain

[deleted]

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#112

Post by jgeerts » Wed, Jun 19, 2013, 8:12 AM UTC

nostromo wrote: post #13

I had a talk with a friend recently who is newly single, and it was clear to me that Facebook was making her crazy. She kept asking me questions about what people that were friends with her and her ex thought of her, or were saying behind her back, or were posting about her in a way that she couldn't see. It was an uphill battle, but I finally convinced her of the truth: nobody really talked about her or her ex that…

This can be true, but Facebook is also used as a tool for people to measure how good they are doing in life to one another. Last weekend a friend of mine started talking about how ugly a specific kid was, then went on Facebook to look up a picture of the ugly ginger kid. Then when scrolling through 'the wall' he went on and on and gave his shallow judgement about people who all were doing worse than him in some way. Probably to reassure to himself that his kid is better on the scale he invented and that his life wasn't that bad after all. Sadly it's not the first conversation like this I overheard. It is one of the reasons I left Facebook, maybe private life should remain what it is, private.

His quote about society is absolutely beautiful.

"It would be like suddenly subtracting the strong nuclear force from the universe; the fabric of society would instantly evaporate, every marriage, friendship and business partnership dissolved. Civilization, which is held together by a fragile web of tactful phrasing, polite omissions and white lies, would collapse in an apocalypse of bitter recriminations and weeping, breakups and fistfights, divorces and bankruptcies, scandals and resignations, blood feuds, litigation, wholesale slaughter in the streets and lingering ill will."

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#113

Post by loceng » Wed, Jun 19, 2013, 12:48 PM UTC

Udo wrote: post #53

loceng wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would go for it. Just @ a whole bunch of people. Ask what shit / lies this women said about you.

Nah, I tried all that and more years ago, it only made things worse. My interest actually contributed to keeping this thing alive. The longer I don't show any interest in the story, the more it atrophies. I'm just telling this as a cautionary tale, not soliciting any solutions - this chapter needs to die.

Unfortunately, you can't really caution against people who are projecting onto a situation for whatever personal benefit / coping mechanisms they have. It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong in this situation, and that's the best you can do. It's unfortunate too that people are uncomfortable to ask questions, and just assuming things they hear about someone are true, especially when it's in a bad light, ask to confirm or hear the 'other' side of the story - and gauge for themselves believability of both parties.

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#114

Post by davorak » Thu, Jun 20, 2013, 4:48 AM UTC

lrenn wrote: post #84

davorak wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Once you get to the bottom you are surround by the highest praise any has ever given you. Given that what percentage of the population would get stuck at the bottom?

The last half of the steps would just be my mother.

bah, I would only want the stairs if at the bottom the praise was realistic and accurate.