Earlier quoted context omitted.
It really is. There are people who believe people are predestined and struck in stone, and that there are good people and bad people, and that if someone is bad or lazy or has bad characteristics there's nothing that can be done, it's just who they are. Those people are wrong and make horrible parents.
The world isn't black and white. We're born with predispositions. Upbringing has some influence. But consider that all the parenting in the world can't make a retarded kid smart. How do you know there aren't other things in our brains that are difficult or can't be controlled?
I'm not saying there are only 2 kinds of people, but that there's sort of a divide. This divide appears to be nearly dichotomous, and it seems to follow some pretty fundamental beliefs about humanity and our place in the world. It's no doubt a stochastic process leading to such a divide, and it's no doubt continuous, but there's a line where if you're on one side, you sort of think it's okay to use some negative reinforcement with people and that they need that to grow stronger (a self-reinforcing idea), and if you're on the other side you sort of think it's not really okay to punish (also a self-reinforcing idea), and the self-reinforcing nature of those ideas leads to their internal reinforcement to become stronger, such that we really do get clustering of individuals who all hold this strong belief about people, and reinforce each other.
There are very few people in the middle of this, and while the child and the personality is not a dichotomy per se, the belief about punishment vs. reward; negative vs. positive reinforcement—is quite dichotomous, not because the world is black and white, but because of the effect of internal reinforcement, groupthink, and time. People gravitate to one side or the other, and having a middle way on these sorts of issues is not attractive to the human psyche or, as it turns out, the way ideas naturally propagate and grow within people.
Politics works precisely the same way, and indeed shares many of the roots of this very opinion on humanity: does punishment work better, or does reward work better? Do we leave the poor to fend for themselves, or do we proactively help them due to their circumstances? It comes down to the way people believe humans work, and again, these ideas gravitate naturally toward opposite ends.
It's quite sad, because reality really is somewhere in the middle, and an effective strategy would take into account the reality of human behavior in addition to the side effects of negative reinforcement and the benefits of positive reinforcement and result in a well-balanced type of policy or parenting style that's scientifically sound and based on truth. But that's not how we work with our offspring; we do what we believe is right and try to do better than our parents, and maybe if we read here or there that this or that is good for the kid, we'll take it into consideration. I truly believe most parents are trying to do what's best for their child, if they can, and it's ignorance and false beliefs about people in general that leads them to make mistakes. I think that's the gist of it.
So you're right, the world isn't black and white, I appreciate you opening my eyes to the truth of the middle way and the truth behind the incomprehensible layers of complexity. It's just fascinating to me how people form ideas, and especially how dichotomous ideas take hold and self-reinforce, because I really think they do. I think it's one of the great problems we could solve in society in the next few dozen years with great benefit, but there's probably not anyone with the right mindset to study it correctly.