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A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

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Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#81
Science. Correlation != Causation. In other words happy people are more likely to remember their relationships with others in a positive light. I used to think I had a bad childhood, I wasn't happy. Then I was happy and would rave about the wonderful childhood I had. Now I'm kinda in the middle and am satisfied with my childhood. Your current attitude affects your view of your own past.

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#82
post #32

I hate it when these things pop up because they turn problems into self-fulling prophecies. I hate being around my mother. I've never had a relationship with a girl in my entire life. I drown my sorrows into a mug of beer every friday. I barely get by as is - and have to work my ass off harder than everyone around me to get anything done. And now I come across this article that says it's likely I'll make 6 figs less…

Sorry, but it's rather funny that what you deem depressing is not making 6 figs rather than being a lonely alcoholic. Maybe some pondering about happiness would do you some good?

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#83

Ack. Reliable or not, I'm sure it was meant as a feel-good piece, but for people like me the quote:- "Vaillant’s key takeaway, in his own words: “The seventy-five years and twenty million dollars expended on the Grant Study points … to a straightforward five-word conclusion: ‘Happiness is love. Full stop.’" Is actually very depressing. I am 5'5" so have this (if you've not encountered it you are unlikely to be aware)…

It's all in your expectatives. Stop listening to what people say and start acting as you really want. For some insight look at a youtube channel called "simple pick up" just three guys getting telephone numbers from guirls doing the most ridiculous or supossedly impossible stuff. Just be confident in youself and make them laugth.

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#84
"For instance, the 58 men who scored highest on measurements of “warm relationships” earned an average of $141,000 a year more at their peak salaries (usually between ages 55 and 60) than the 31 men who scored lowest".

Why can't they give an percentage, do these people who scored high earn 40 % more or just 5 % ?

I'm too lazy too check the average salary of Harvard undergraduate men at age 60.

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#85

Science. Correlation != Causation. In other words happy people are more likely to remember their relationships with others in a positive light. I used to think I had a bad childhood, I wasn't happy. Then I was happy and would rave about the wonderful childhood I had. Now I'm kinda in the middle and am satisfied with my childhood. Your current attitude affects your view of your own past.

This is a longitudinal study. They were surveyed every two years.

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#87
post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why is "solving the problem" of "trying to contribute to a conversation and not making a fool of myself" something that doesn't makes you happy?

Because there's no cerebral solution to that problem short of going out there and making yourself look like an idiot until you don't looks like an idiot anymore.

I've heard it suggested that a very good way of practicing conversation with people you don't know is to talk to people who are paid to talk to you - shop assistants, baristas, waiters, etc. There is no social cost in getting it wrong, and it helps build conversation skills

I haven't tried it myself, but it's plausible

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What can the child do once he starts to ask himself what the hell is wrong with him, and little by little, starts to associate some wrongs with his childhood? Is it possible to revert bad parenting?

As far as I know, the answer is "No, but". No, you're never going to able to have no effects from your formative years with your parents. BUT, it's rarely impossible to deal with this productively. I suspect such a child will always be asking zirself what's wrong with zir, but hopefully ze can also develop an answer to that question, usually in the form of a reliable support network.

After having read your comment, I googled "zirself"... Is is a commonly used pronoun, or more of a quirk/very new feature of the language that gets used rarely? Interesting concept though!

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#89
post #82
post #32

I hate it when these things pop up because they turn problems into self-fulling prophecies. I hate being around my mother. I've never had a relationship with a girl in my entire life. I drown my sorrows into a mug of beer every friday. I barely get by as is - and have to work my ass off harder than everyone around me to get anything done. And now I come across this article that says it's likely I'll make 6 figs less…

Sorry, but it's rather funny that what you deem depressing is not making 6 figs rather than being a lonely alcoholic. Maybe some pondering about happiness would do you some good?

> I drown my sorrows into a mug of beer every friday.

I don't think once a week makes him an alcholic.

Re: A 75-Year Harvard Study Finds What It Takes To Live A Happy Life

#90
post #28
post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because bad parents will become more nurturing after reading an article?

A lot of people who had bad parents want to be better parents than what they experienced. Articles can definitely affect their behavior. How do I know this? Because I'm one of them!

I can't remember where I read it, but I like the quote: family goal is not creating good children, but good parents.
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