Ask HN: I'm lost. Please help

Yeah, isn't it awesome? There are sure worse ways to deal with difficult personal questions.

How did we do it before the internet and crowdsourcing? Oh yeah, there was a column in the newspaper called "Dear Abby". For the entire American syndication, she handled about two questions a day.

> What happened to just talking to people or making tough decisions?

I think he has been 'talking to people' because they've written him some checks.

- Don't take advice from people who know very little and have no context.

- Clarify your ownership position in the company. "Can you explain my equity thing to me again?" Know what you own now. Know what you're entitled to in the future. If you already know this information, you can skip this step.

- Think of a person you completely trust and whose intellect you fully respect. Let's call them X. Sit down on your own and write X a letter that outlines the whole situation.

Address at least the following:

a) What you want out of the deal b) What you think it'll take to make the deal successful c) Conditions under which you're willing to keep at it d) Whether or not you want to keep going forward with this thing e) All the other important things that you know.

Make it a good letter. Spend real time on this letter. Something around 1,000 words or more.

Don't send letter. Save letter. Go to sleep.

- Next day (after you've slept and eaten), revise your letter. Really go through it and make it say what you want it to say. Take out that part that's irrelevant. Add the section about the thing you forgot.

Don't send letter. Save letter. Go to sleep.

- Next day, read letter. Revise it again if you need to.

Twist: The letter isn't for X. It's for you.

- At this point, you've built a clear inventory of what you own in the business and what you think needs to happen in order for it to work and for you to stay.

My guess is that you'll then know what you need to do. That might mean sit down and talk with the idiots. It might mean that you need to leave asap. It might mean an N day ultimatum. It might mean something else.

But whatever it means, it will have come from you.

Also, read this. I have it on the mirror in my bathroom.

http://www.cs.columbia.edu/~gongsu/desiderata_textonly.html

You are going to live through this experience. You will benefit from the lessons you've learned in this experience. This, too, shall pass.

Good luck, fellow traveler.

We didn't need money at the time so it was not the same as your situation, but VC will often just not click with a company. It is actually a lot like dating in that they are trying to read the people and what they're saying and projecting it out over the course of the relationship.

They all came back, unsolicited, in 9 to 16 months, but by then we had reached a point where we were cash-flow positive and working with pilot customers to refine the product for launch.

VC will rarely say no directly because things can change at any time.

NB: This is Silly Valley, where VC are thick on the ground.

Move. On!

Your founders aren't necessarily idiots. Sometimes businesses fail due to a myriad of other issues, including market timing, product-market-fit and more.

This one failed. That's OK.

Time to move to greener pastures. No, you are not abandoning anyone. This business is dead. Unless a pile of cash shows-up and a major pivot happens it is likely not to survive. I've seen businesses implode even after getting piles of cash thrown at them. Money doesn't magically fix it.

Go find something that appeals to you and make some money.