Re: Marijuana
Weed can have an incredibly devastating effect when used as an escape. We have all been told that weed has no withdrawal symptoms and is safer than water. This is simply not true.
Being involved in startups can obviously be extremely stressful. Like Jody, I used weed as an escape after a hard day. It allowed me to clear my mind, sleep, and be at peace with the storm that was my life. Over time, the weed worked less and less, I needed to smoke more and more to get the same feeling, and my emotions started to go up and down dramatically, even when stoned.
One day, I had a nervous breakdown over something that really wasn't a big deal. After a lot of introspection and discussion with friends, I realized that weed was making my situation worse. It had turned from an escape to a nightmare. It was like a light bulb turned on and I could see everything clearly. For example, I would get really bad headaches and start feeling nauseous around the time I would usually smoke on weekdays (5 PM). If I was in a meeting, I would usually become very moody and frequently had to leave. I never realized it was from the weed, though. I always wrote it off at every occurrence as a virus or a bad meal or just lack of sleep.
The day came when I decided to quit. I will give a brief outline of what it was like and how it felt.
Day 1: Felt really good and positive about the whole situation. I had cravings at night but was able to ignore them.
Day 2: Started to have a hard time eating. I also felt a bit more stressed.
Day 3: Woke up with my bed completely soaked from night sweats. I was so dehydrated I gagged all morning and then had to go to work. My moods would go from happy to nearly suicidal all day. I couldn't stomach any solid food and sweated all day.
Day 4-5: Waked up both days with my sheets soaked in sweat. Extremely vivid and stressful dreams. Couldn't go to work. Constant panic attacks. Suicidal thoughts. Even liquids besides water or soda were hard to ingest.
Day 6: Night sweats weren't as bad. I could start stomaching shakes and some sugary solid foods. My moods started to even out a bit and I didn't get the intense lows like the previous days.
Day 7: Night sweats not soaking the sheets anymore. Some food becoming more palatable. Headaches hit me around 5 PM.
Day 8-14: Was able to start going back to work. I had to have a lot of shakes to stay fed. The feeling of sobriety starts to hit and everything seems much more clear and lucid. I feel as if I took a drug that gave me hyper focus and mental awareness. I realized that even when not high, my mind was still very hazy and mentally affected while smoking heavily. I was essentially "always stoned". Getting rid of that haze was like opening curtains in a dark room.
That was about a year ago. I relapsed and am currently going through the withdrawal process as I type this. I have been up all night because my sweats soaked my bed and I don't want to fall back asleep just to wake up in sweat again. This line from the story really hit home this morning:
Sherman had battled clinical depression, and his mind may have been clouded by marijuana, which he often smoked to self-medicate.
Now, I want to make it clear that I am not trying to claim this is the reason Jody did what he did. I simply feel that it is a VERY important discussion. This comment below made me very angry/concerned, enough to create an anon account and post this novel.
Stopped reading at the speculation that marijuana may have contributed to his suicide. The fuck???
If you claim marijuana withdrawals don't exist, you are ignorant. Talk to people who have used the drug as a life escape and then quit. Most drugs are worse than marijuana but we can't downplay its faults. I wanted to include some links for anyone that is skeptical.
100's of withdrawal testimonies: http://www.steadyhealth.com/how_long_do_marijuana_withdrawal...
Some Facts About Marijuana Withdrawals: http://www.choosehelp.com/detox/10-life-or-experiential-fact...
Studies Find Withdrawals Are Real: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/09/27/marijuana-withdrawa...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2209405/Cannabis-u...
More Marijuanan Withdrawal Studies and Testimonials: http://brainblogger.com/2009/06/15/marijuana-withdrawal-synd...
Chronic Marijuana Smoking Affects Brain Chemistry, Molecular Imaging Shows: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/06/110606131705.ht...
I can't find the direct source, but I read that the loss of appetite is due to an "overloading" of the Cannabinoid receptors. Those are the receptors in your brain that marijauna's active chemicals bind to. At some point, these receptors get overloaded and only respond to excess marijuana conception. They get less and less sensitive over time, building up your tolerance to marijuana. Your cannabinoid receptors are what are used to tell your brain you are hungry. When they don't respond to normal body signals and only marijuana consumption, then you are at a state where eating is only possible while high.