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What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

theatlantic.com

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Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#91

Post by ryusage »

a_p wrote: post #79
dizzystar wrote: post #2

I was a carpenter for the better part of my 20s. Definitely many stories like this that came up. The one that bothered me the most was how many times they looked at me silly for making a "bad" cut, when of course, I was making said cut because the area wasn't square. I had one guy get angry at me for making a frame that was visibly crooked, so I told him he should probably make it square and hang it up himself. When…

Using Fussell's class breakdown [1], it is likely that you haven't worked for any people in the "upper class"; you have met the several varieties of the middle class. Fussell's definitions of the class is more about their tastes and behaviors than about how rich they are. The upper classes would never get on their hands and knees and pound nails, because they feel that it is beneath them. The uppers are content with…

As a note, at first glance, this comment seems to be saying that they could not have been upper class because they weren't horribly condescending and close-minded, and that this is the entire definition of upper class.

Looking at the book description, I take it that these are meant to be heuristics for guessing a random person's position in the class system? That seems more useful. I'm still not convinced it makes sense to apply that here, though, as the OP was working in these people's homes, and certainly has a very good idea what sort of people they were.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#92

Post by dkarl »

steven2012 wrote: post #88

Put me in the camp of someone who has no idea on how to do any sort of handyman jobs, and I'm in my 40s. In fact, 3 months ago I bought a dartboard, and only have a vague idea on how hang it. I'm guessing my wall is drywall (?) and I imagine I'm supposed to drill holes and put those plastic screw-condoms (no idea what the name is) in there that expand into the drywall. But the thing stopping me is 1) I don't know if…

For a task that hasn't changed much in twenty years, the assistance you'll get from a how-to-fix-it book will probably beat the assistance you can get on the internet, just because the quality of illustration will be much better. Out of date copies are cheap, but the directions for hanging something heavy on drywall will be the same.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#93

Post by PonyGumbo »

michaelbuddy wrote: post #25
dpeck wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

" Stocking a basic toolbox is extraordinarily inexpensive, there's really no reason not to have one." This is great advice, anyone reading who doesn't have at least the basics please get them. I have a few friends who I help out on occasion and it is incredibly frustrating to not have the basic tools available. Decent screwdriver set Socket set Hammer Electrical Pliers Multimeter Pliers Adjustable Wrench Just these b…

Pfft. A basic toolbox doesn't even get you halfway there. Here's why. Because the basic tools are not the keys to the kingdom. The way it works is this. You NEED to familiarize yourself with all the little connectors, fasteners, bolts screws and materials. Hundreds or thousands of them. Got a nice drill? Great. Guess what you better know what masonry bit is, and that you need to use a smaller bit than what you think,…

>How do you find studs? Too bad nearly EVERY single stud finder is a mediocre piece of shit.

Or completely worthless if you have plaster and lathe walls.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#94

Post by randomdata »

sliverstorm wrote: post #3
dizzystar wrote: post #2

I was a carpenter for the better part of my 20s. Definitely many stories like this that came up. The one that bothered me the most was how many times they looked at me silly for making a "bad" cut, when of course, I was making said cut because the area wasn't square. I had one guy get angry at me for making a frame that was visibly crooked, so I told him he should probably make it square and hang it up himself. When…

The rich folk seemed more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem. The middle class folk ... usually weren't present and were more prone to complaining. Or, the middle class folks didn't have time to hang around, while rich folk don't always work 9-5.

Perhaps rich people have held positions of managing people, and know, through that experience, when they can jump in and help and when to let the professional guide them? Whereas someone in the middle class may have always been an employee and don't have the same comfortability taking charge and stepping in to help, unless specifically directed to do so.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#95

Post by fuuuuuuuuuuu »

bluedino wrote: post #57
dpeck wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

" Stocking a basic toolbox is extraordinarily inexpensive, there's really no reason not to have one." This is great advice, anyone reading who doesn't have at least the basics please get them. I have a few friends who I help out on occasion and it is incredibly frustrating to not have the basic tools available. Decent screwdriver set Socket set Hammer Electrical Pliers Multimeter Pliers Adjustable Wrench Just these b…

> I have a few friends who I help out on occasion and it is incredibly frustrating to not have the basic tools available. A younger guy at work asked if he could borrow one of the screwdrivers I keep in my desk. I thought maybe he was going to pop open his computer, he said he was going to put a bed together. At his apartment. He didn't even own a screwdriver. C'mon. I sarcastically asked him, "You're a manly man, ar…

> I sarcastically asked him, "You're a manly man, aren't you?", then handed him a large phillips screwdriver.

Keeping stereotypes alive, one harassment at a time.

My hat is off to you, sir.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#96

Post by PonyGumbo »

ameister14 wrote: post #12

Until I went to college I didn't realize not everyone learned wood and metalworking in school. Industrial Arts, it was called. We learned to make jewelry, forge with iron, etc. Then in high school I did woodworking instead, and made furniture, which most of us sold as a side job. I just thought that was totally normal. I'm still not sure why it isn't.

Our high school had a wood and metal shop (late 1980s), but the classes were positioned as a track for kids who weren't likely to attend college.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#97

Post by GFischer »

jhull wrote: post #49
pyre wrote: post #4

Personally, the tension that I have in dealing with contractors is not wanting to be taken advantage of. Much in the same way that mechanics and used car salesmen are 'notorious' for taking advantage of people.

probably exactly the way someone feels when a non-technical person wants a website made and a google search tells them it only costs $200

Some websites DO cost U$ 200 :) , a company here in Uruguay has more work than they can handle at a flat fee of U$ 320 (Spanish only, and Joomla template-based)

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#98

Post by GFischer »

IvyMike wrote: post #38

There's always the choice to be made: The handyman/contractor/mechanic has the skills, and the tools, and probably knows what to do, but in my experience often doesn't give a shit about the quality of his work. (But see below) I don't have the skills, and may not have the tools, and I don't know what to do, but given time I have proven myself able to learn, and I really do care how things turn out. Often 'giving a sh…

Countless startups have tried that... and we still dont have a great way to get accurate recommendations for handymen, maids, mechanics, elderly care, etc... all those where trust and skill are needed.

So far I still rely on person-to-person recommendations. Many suggest that Facebook could hold the keys to that particular kingdom, by providing a verifiable online identity. AirBnB is one of those that uses Facebook for that.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#99

Post by justinhj »

No qualms here. I cook for my family and I'm quite adept at that, but when it comes to getting my hands dirty or fixing things I'm not interested. When I was a teen my stepdad used to try and get me out of the bedroom to help in the yard or in his workshop, but I was happier up there learning C and 68000. Turns out that worked out well for everyone. I can afford to pay someone to do things I don't enjoy.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#100

Post by stonemetal »

bluedino wrote: post #58
trhtrsh wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Budget cuts. You can't write a standardized test for woodworking, so schools stopped teaching it.

What ever happened to learning this stuff from good ol' dad, or your grandfather? I was lucky enough to have a step-father who was fairly handy, had a large amount of tools, and my mother always had him working on a project around the house. Building a deck, remodeling the kitchen, that kind of stuff. I hated being dragged away from friends and video games to help him out with random stuff but I learned quite a bit.…

What ever happened to learning this stuff from good ol' dad, or your grandfather?

My dad worked nights, so I learned what kind of noise was or was not going to wake up my dad. My grandparents were about 23hrs away by car. So not everyone is that lucky.

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