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What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

theatlantic.com

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Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#11

Post by dizzystar »

pyre wrote: post #4

Personally, the tension that I have in dealing with contractors is not wanting to be taken advantage of. Much in the same way that mechanics and used car salesmen are 'notorious' for taking advantage of people.

I've seen this played out so many times, it is quite sickening. I generally found that union folk can't pound themselves out of a paper bag.

At the risk of sounding inflammatory, many home owners want everything cheap as humanly possible, so they find people willing to do it for below minimum wage (immigrants) and buy the cheapest, warped material they can find at Home Depot. Sometimes spending a little extra money for expertise is worth the sacrifice. You are, after all, paying for a service that affects the most important piece of property you own, and you may have to live with a regret for 30 or more years.

Now days, you can get references, see photos of prior work, and of course someone with high quality tools (not Craftsman) and a truck is likely to be a better choice. Someone that is willing to say "no" to you is also a good sign.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#12

Post by ameister14 »

Until I went to college I didn't realize not everyone learned wood and metalworking in school.

Industrial Arts, it was called. We learned to make jewelry, forge with iron, etc. Then in high school I did woodworking instead, and made furniture, which most of us sold as a side job.

I just thought that was totally normal. I'm still not sure why it isn't.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#13

Post by InclinedPlane »

DuskStar wrote: post #9
sliverstorm wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The rich folk seemed more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem. The middle class folk ... usually weren't present and were more prone to complaining. Or, the middle class folks didn't have time to hang around, while rich folk don't always work 9-5.

Or that the rich folk might have gotten that way through being "more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem."

The richest people I know personally are all incredibly hard workers with rather wide-ranging skillsets and certainly a willingness to try new things. But that's just anecdotal so take it with a grain of salt.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#14

Post by lostlogin »

I think part of it has to relate to what you enjoy doing. I enjoy few things more than reaching the time of day when work clothes can come off, dirty old shirt goes on, lithium ion tool drill comes out and the circular saw is plugged in. It's the best relaxation I have found, and unlike my real job, I can actually achieve something without other screwing it up and the results are measurable. Don't ask about the accidents, stitches and cost/time blowouts.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#15

Post by kamkazemoose »

simonsarris wrote: post #6

Is it me or are there an extremely large number of front-page stories from The Atlantic today? There are three on the frontpage right now, with 2 more in the next three pages (all of which frontpaged at least for a moment).

I definitely noticed that as well. It could be a self-propagating cycle? Maybe people see an article from The Atlantic, then while they're there they find another article and post that? The more people post articles from The Atlantic, the more people who go and read other articles there and go on to post them here. And personally, I think it is a pretty good publication. They have some interesting stories and they are generally well written.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#16

Post by mvc »

InclinedPlane wrote: post #13
DuskStar wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or that the rich folk might have gotten that way through being "more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem."

The richest people I know personally are all incredibly hard workers with rather wide-ranging skillsets and certainly a willingness to try new things. But that's just anecdotal so take it with a grain of salt.

I think what we've learned here is that the only thing rich people have in common is that they all have a lot of money.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#17

Post by dpeck »

InclinedPlane wrote: post #10

I took AP classes in college, and I work in the software industry, but I still know how to work with my hands and I'm very happy to have that knowledge. It's not that hard, if you feel bad about not knowing anything, go learn, go take a class or two, go read a book or two, go ask a friend, or use the internet, there are a million excellent resources out there. Pick a simple project and do it, then do another project.…

" Stocking a basic toolbox is extraordinarily inexpensive, there's really no reason not to have one."

This is great advice, anyone reading who doesn't have at least the basics please get them. I have a few friends who I help out on occasion and it is incredibly frustrating to not have the basic tools available.

Decent screwdriver set

Socket set

Hammer

Electrical Pliers

Multimeter

Pliers

Adjustable Wrench

Just these basic tools can get you a long way to solving problems.

I hated it at the time, but I spent nearly every weekend of my 8th and 9th grade years remodeling our house with my dad. Being able to understand the job that needs to be done, even if you'd do a poor job doing it yourself, is invaluable.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#18

Post by jeffdavis »

"This attitude is certainly built on classism and general obliviousness as much as gender issues...whereas with rich men, haggling seems to be a necessary ritual."

The author makes it sound like negotiating over an estimate is a character flaw.

Stereotypically, men are more likely to negotiate over almost anything. At least that comes up during discussions of pay inequality; I'm not really sure what the facts are.

Also, negotiating is probably a more common, habitual practice among "rich" people (by which I assume he means businessmen, lawyers, etc.). I don't see any evidence that it comes from some kind of classism; rather, it's a useful and important skill in their job.

People who really don't know anything about handywork are likely to use what they do know to attempt to get quality work at a fair price.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#19

Post by namank »

dizzystar wrote: post #2

I was a carpenter for the better part of my 20s. Definitely many stories like this that came up. The one that bothered me the most was how many times they looked at me silly for making a "bad" cut, when of course, I was making said cut because the area wasn't square. I had one guy get angry at me for making a frame that was visibly crooked, so I told him he should probably make it square and hang it up himself. When…

I think that most self-made rich people are over that mental barrier where they know that everything in the world is made by people like themselves. So they aren't afraid to participate in new things.

I`ve definitely have had my share of folks that like the pretentiousness. As it turns out, they are also the easiest to screw with.

Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity

#20

Post by dizzystar »

InclinedPlane wrote: post #13
DuskStar wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or that the rich folk might have gotten that way through being "more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem."

The richest people I know personally are all incredibly hard workers with rather wide-ranging skillsets and certainly a willingness to try new things. But that's just anecdotal so take it with a grain of salt.

Exactly this. It is all anecdotal. I was just telling an opposing anecdote the the original story.

It does depend on what you are doing and how difficult the particular job is. Cutting wood and hammering nails is easy and somehow relaxing. Tiling walls and roofing are both difficult and easy to screw up, and I don't think I ever had the homeowner with me on those occasions. Painting, laying linoleum, hanging prefab cabinets, etc are all easy to do and easy to take part ownership in. I like the thought that a homeowner can brag to their friends that "they" built something.

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