What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
theatlantic.com
What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
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Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#2I was a carpenter for the better part of my 20s. Definitely many stories like this that came up. The one that bothered me the most was how many times they looked at me silly for making a "bad" cut, when of course, I was making said cut because the area wasn't square. I had one guy get angry at me for making a frame that was visibly crooked, so I told him he should probably make it square and hang it up himself. When he put the piece up and saw it didn't fit flush, he apologized and said I was right after all. I then told him that was the last piece of wood. Sometimes the respect is hard-earned.
I just chalked it up to the amount of times they got screwed over by people of lower ability, so in general, there was a lot of defensiveness. The male-role thing was apparent, but after earning respect and trust, they pretty much always got out of my way.
I've had, quite often, jobs where I was more or less helping the home owner build and those were the most enjoyable and memorable moments. Contrary to what this story suggests, it was usually the rich folk who got on their hands and knees beside me and pounded nails. I think it was about perspective. The rich folk seemed more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem. The middle class folk didn't seem to willing to learn or want to get their hands dirty, so usually they weren't present and were more prone to complaining.
Construction is super easy if you can think about the problem from multiple perspectives. I find it surprising how few people have the capacity to view the world in this way.
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#3I was a carpenter for the better part of my 20s. Definitely many stories like this that came up. The one that bothered me the most was how many times they looked at me silly for making a "bad" cut, when of course, I was making said cut because the area wasn't square. I had one guy get angry at me for making a frame that was visibly crooked, so I told him he should probably make it square and hang it up himself. When…
The rich folk seemed more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem. The middle class folk ... usually weren't present and were more prone to complaining.
Or, the middle class folks didn't have time to hang around, while rich folk don't always work 9-5.
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#4Personally, the tension that I have in dealing with contractors is not wanting to be taken advantage of. Much in the same way that mechanics and used car salesmen are 'notorious' for taking advantage of people.
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#5Personally, the tension that I have in dealing with contractors is not wanting to be taken advantage of. Much in the same way that mechanics and used car salesmen are 'notorious' for taking advantage of people.
That's because of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_asymmetry and the cure is more information.
Before undertaking any major project study it intensively, and you'll feel much better about it.
If you can't do the study yourself then find a trusted, disinterested, 3rd party to do it for you. (Of course that entails some study itself...)
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#6Is it me or are there an extremely large number of front-page stories from The Atlantic today?
There are three on the frontpage right now, with 2 more in the next three pages (all of which frontpaged at least for a moment).
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#7Can we please stop all the pseudo-psychology male / female / testosterone / hymen stuff on HN and concentrate on friggin' hacker news and startup news?
(also what's up with all the theatlantic.com upvotes on non-HN worthy stories, do we have sock muppets in the house?)
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#8I was a carpenter for the better part of my 20s. Definitely many stories like this that came up. The one that bothered me the most was how many times they looked at me silly for making a "bad" cut, when of course, I was making said cut because the area wasn't square. I had one guy get angry at me for making a frame that was visibly crooked, so I told him he should probably make it square and hang it up himself. When…
The rich folk seemed more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem. The middle class folk ... usually weren't present and were more prone to complaining. Or, the middle class folks didn't have time to hang around, while rich folk don't always work 9-5.
Not in my experience. I usually worked alone and I never had anyone just hand me their keys. I used to work on weekends as well.
It is a smart play, IMO, to not let random people walk into your house with no one there to protect the fortress, if you get my drift.
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#9I was a carpenter for the better part of my 20s. Definitely many stories like this that came up. The one that bothered me the most was how many times they looked at me silly for making a "bad" cut, when of course, I was making said cut because the area wasn't square. I had one guy get angry at me for making a frame that was visibly crooked, so I told him he should probably make it square and hang it up himself. When…
The rich folk seemed more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem. The middle class folk ... usually weren't present and were more prone to complaining. Or, the middle class folks didn't have time to hang around, while rich folk don't always work 9-5.
Or that the rich folk might have gotten that way through being "more willing to learn it, try it, and logic out the problem."
Re: What Being a Handyman Has Taught Me About Male Insecurity
#10I took AP classes in college, and I work in the software industry, but I still know how to work with my hands and I'm very happy to have that knowledge. It's not that hard, if you feel bad about not knowing anything, go learn, go take a class or two, go read a book or two, go ask a friend, or use the internet, there are a million excellent resources out there. Pick a simple project and do it, then do another project. Stocking a basic toolbox is extraordinarily inexpensive, there's really no reason not to have one.
I think the reason so many people aren't as handy as they used to be has to do more with culture than with anything else, here's an excellent TED talk from Mike Rowe (from Dirty Jobs) on the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRVdiHu1VCc